What is some advice that you would give to newlyweds??

Gwendolyn - posted on 02/23/2010

Turn to each other not on each other when life gets busy and hectic. If you are not into God... you may want to start having a relationship with God. Prayer helps a marriage stay strong and last long.

Stefie - posted on 02/20/2010

Learn to talk and work as a team. In our house we do everything as "Team Shen". We work great together because it is never about what one of us does but what we get done as a family. We celebrate everything from making dinner to filing taxes to our daughters first words as something we worked together to do.

Meghan - posted on 02/16/2010

The top answer is great but also, don't involve other people in your problems and don't speak poorly of your spouse to others because once an opinion is set it is hard to change!

Myra - posted on 10/27/2009

1. Don't play the blame game...blaming eachother or yourself.
2. Never go to bed mad/angry at the other...settle all issues you are mad about before you go to sleep.
3. Remember the three things we all need:
-To be told we are loved (so say it everyday to him)
-To be shown we are loved (give plenty of hugs and kisses)
-To be loved in return (expect to be told and shown you are loved, too!)
4. Love may not be all you need...so bring your patience, understanding, and all those other virtues!
5. Money won't fix a bad relationship, and it won't destroy a good one (unless you let money take over!).
6. When dealing with in-laws. remember that they have opinions, too...they just don't matter as much as yours and his.
7. The first couple of years are tough! And if they aren't, you are going to be sadly let down when things get rough later on. The first little while is rough so you can bond and learn to work through things and stay together. If things are easy to begin with, and say 4+ years down the road something happens, you don't know how to manage yourself or you marriage.
8. Skip the fancy honeymoon! Put that money in for something you both want here...a down payment on a home, a car, a move to where you both want to live, a big TV, etc...
9. As great as kids are, be married a while and it just be the two of you. You'll never get those early days of marriage back.

Sara - posted on 10/23/2009

Read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and get your finances straightened out from the Get-Go. :)

Sara Miller
I help moms make a great living!
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Shelly - posted on 08/11/2009

Erinn,
The one thing that I try to convey to young couples is don't have children for the first year of your marriage...Yes babys are a blessing from God, but you need time to get to know each other in a living 24/7 situation and your getting use to each others quarks and odditys and to put a baby in the middle of that is hard...Yes it has been done but just enjoy each other and creat that bond with each other and make a foundation for that new one that will be joining your bond...And the other thing is as Anne put it put God first in your marriage things go so much easier when you have that foundation. Yes you will still have bumps along the way but it isn't any thing when you realy on the Lord to work them out!!! And then talk to each other about every thing from how you want to raise your children to what you want from each other in the future trust each other with your feelings and your dreams when you talk to your spouce about every thing then when the BIG stuff comes up you already have that communication open and you can talk things through...

Mary - posted on 08/09/2009

reflect back to the reason u got married. have an open line of communication.

compromise...u do not have to be right all the time. NEVER go to bed angry with one another and PRAY continually that GOD will bless ur union.

Sheri - posted on 07/21/2009

I agree with the next post by Anne Watkins.. also.. you have to keep the communication open with each other. If you need to talk about something.... always just do it... never be afraid to talk..... love one another unconditionally....

Kim - posted on 07/21/2009

WOW!! These replies are great! I knew my husband for 3 months before we were married and we celebrated our 21st anniversary this year. Trust and communication are very important. The ladies that talked about never saying anything about divorce is true. I used that word like saying Hello to my husband in the beginning of our marriage. He told me once... say it again and you'll get it. Never said it again. Know you will be together forever, but treat him like there's no tomorrow.

Amber - posted on 07/10/2009

trust, honesty, communication, and you need to learn how to comprimise! you need to keep each other happy even if it means to do somethings that you normally dont, do things differently, or not do something, as long as he does the same for you things will be a little smoother.

Melody - posted on 06/28/2009

Communication is very important.You spouse is your best friend and you can talk to them about anything.Never let anything or anyone come betwwen the 2 of you and put everything in the Lord's hands and all shall be well.

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009

Trust, communication and never going to bed on a row. When/if you have children, discuss how you want them raised whilst you are pregnant (or before you get pregnant) so you are able to agree before baby is born and so that you are both on the same wavelength xx

Shelly - posted on 06/19/2009

Erinn,

Communication that is the #1 thing that will get you through everything...You need to talk about every thing from raising kids to your sex life and every thing inbetween!!! As long as you two can talk theres nothing that can get in to tear you apart...Be hoest about every thing yes thier will be times that feelings will be hurt but you can work through it as long as you talk to each other...I'm sure there will be alot of advice on this thread but just remember that all the asvice will be based on communication!!!

Lynlee - posted on 06/14/2009

I agree with Ashley. Before you marry make the decision that divorce is not an option.

Ashley - posted on 05/30/2009

never say anything about divorce! you can work thru anything!

Michelle - posted on 05/30/2009

First and foremost, change your definition of "Love". It is not a feeling, it is a choice. CHOOSE to love each other and to meet each others' needs, even when you don't "feel" like it. That is true love.

Amy - posted on 05/29/2009

These ladies have the right idea. There have to be three in a marriage; God, you and your spouse.I have been married 19 years, it wasn't until the 4th year did i give my marriage to Him(headed for divorce) . He turned my husband's heart and we are crazy for each other.

Danielle - posted on 05/26/2009

Put the Lord first. Pray together. It's not always going to be great, and you aren't going to always "feel" in love, but stay committed. Don't insult each other even in jokes was one thing told to us. DH and I have some fun at the other's expense, but we be sure never to do that sort of thing to the kids, to not undermind each other in their eyes.

Jessica - posted on 05/21/2009

I've been married a bit over a year, we've been together nearly 5 years. One piece of advice I got when we were married was "Never fight, and never argue"... from quite a few older couples. I thought what a load of bull. We become closer after a big argument and learn more about eachother. I would twist this bit of advice around and say "learn how to fight fairly" I'm not a fair fighter, we both have different styles, he used to always be the one to apologize. I had to suck up my pride and learn to take the first step to make things right. I'm still working on it, and we get stronger every day.

Anne - posted on 05/20/2009

First and For most Love God more than your Spouse. I know that by many peoples standards of "when the rough, run" my advice does not sound very romantic. BUT if you love God more than any one or any thing you will make it through any thing. The best part about my husband and I loving God more than each other, we are living our lives in such a manner that we most of the time treat each other with love and respect. When we fail in this we have God's love to fall back on and we know He never fails.