Trouble in school, am I too easy on him?

Shannon - posted on 04/17/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Now that he is in first grade, I am noticing that he does not seem to have the skills he needs to make in school. He is having trouble in reading, in math, and with everyday skills like remembering to bring home homework. I have always read to him, and worked on counting and other simple things before school, plus he was in daycare. To combat his school issues I started a star chart. He gets starts for things like remembering to look before crossing the road, (we live on a busy street across from a playground), remembering to bring things home, completing his homework with no fuss, reading at least 1 book out loud everyday. After 10 stars he would get an extra 30 before bed, after 20 he could pick his own dinner, and if he saved all his stars after 30 he would get $20 at the toy store. This seemed to be working. There was not vast improvement in school, but improvement none the less. However he would still "forget" to bring home papers, and he is having trouble with listening to his teacher. At first I thought that maybe it was just a confusing situation and that the teacher was not being clear. I did not know what was his homework everyday and was not seeing enough correspondence from school. After speaking with his teacher though, it seems this is a problem really only with Alex. The other children are not having the difficulties with understanding spoken directions as he is. So we started a weekly report card with his teacher that comes home every friday. Good reports get extra stars. After having him "forget" to bring home his weekly report again this week, I spoke to his teacher. Apparently he said to her "he has given up on the star chart because he doesn't get enough for it". Seriously?! WTF, I say to myself (cause I would never talk to my son like that), What will it take? I am now wondering if maybe I am doing the reward system wrong. He expects to get something every time he does something good. Have I somehow spoiled my son to the point where he expects rewards? That wasn't the point at all. Then I wonder am I doing this wrong, or does he maybe have something else going on like ADD, or APD? I am having a consult with his doctor, but I really don't know what to do. Any advice from anyone would be welcome and appreciated.......

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User - posted on 05/04/2012

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It sounds like you're on the right track! My son is in 1st grade for the second time this year. His teacher had him tested for add and he had 0 symptoms. Is his teacher the right match for him? My sons teacher the first time around was way too willing to fall for his excuses. He's extremely bright but lazy according to his current teacher. I've seen a major difference this year. His teacher and I are on the same page and we communicate often. It sounds like something I went through! The add testers said "he's just smarter than we are, that's the problem." you're doing all you can and all of the right things. Keep it up, Mom!

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