Daughter has NO problem peeing on potty but REFUSES to poop on it now?!?!

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 3yrs old and is in a pretty tough situation right now. Her father and I split a month after she was potty trained a little before her 2nd birthday. She was doing great prior to us seperating, peeing and poopin on the potty with no issues at all and slowly after we split she started being petrified of pooping on it. She will go into the bathroom all by herself and pee, but when it comes to her having to go poopy she runs to her room to hide and tries her HARDEST to keep it in, I'll try to coach her into the bathroom and sit her on the potty but she is literally petrified of it. Screams bloody murder and trembles like someone is trying to kill her.



I know that she is going through a great deal of stress because of her father and I not being together, although its been almost 2 years now but I also know for a fact that a big part of the blame IS HER FATHER. He lives in an unfinished basement with no bathroom, the bathroom is in the upstairs part of the house and I know he doesn't actively ask her if she needs to use the bathroom so she just goes where ever and when ever she wants in her pants while she is with him. I've asked him time and time again to please work with her, and he denies her even having a problem with him, according to him she poops on the potty fine at his house...which I find VERY hard to believe with the way she acts when I get her back from him.



Please help, any pointers or advice would be great. I've tried everything, sitting on the big potty while putting her on hers, enticing her with rewards such as treats or stickers...nothing is working. It's getting to be a huge struggle and problem especially when we are out somewhere. I'm so lost, upset, and angry (not with her, but with her father) Thanks!

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Jen - posted on 12/21/2009

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I had the exact same problem with my daughter. Her daddy and I separated during the same month that we started potty training our daughter and everything was going good at first. We put her completely back in diapers during the first couple months of us separating because she stopped showing interest in going on the toilet. After things calmed down a little more we tried again and we found she had developed a huge fear of the toilet and would scream and kick if we tried to get her to go on it. She would hold her poop for several days and she began having UTI's quite often. Our doctor said it was just stress from the separation and she would eventually come around. I believed her for awhile but it didn't change for almost 6months. I finally came across this article and found that there were several things I had been doing wrong including constantly reminding her to try to use the potty. As soon as I gave her the idea that it was her job to get her poop in the potty herself the power struggle stopped and I miraculously found her on the potty one day going poop all by herself. It seemed to just be easy from that point on. Read the article and i'm sure you will find some good pointers to start you in the right direction! Good luck with it and don't be frustrated and think you are the only mother with a three year old who isn't potty trained yet! If you ever need anyone to talk to about what you are going through with your separation or just need to vent.....i'd be happy to be an ear you can send your thoughts my way. I'm sure I will have a few things to vent about also! haha
Here is the link to that article: http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottyt...

Peace,

Jen

Ashlee - posted on 11/11/2009

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Hi Amanda! I am having a similar problem with my son. He refuses to go poopy at all! I am sorry to hear that her father is behaving this way, he needs to realize that he is hurting your daughter not you by acting like this. Right now I am trying to let my son go naked! I know that sounds awful but I have heard that it works. Maybe when he notices the results of not going to the potty he will start going! Well good luck with everything and I hope that she gets potty trained soon!

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