I just want to give up on potty training i need help

[deleted account] ( 26 moms have responded )

Its a nightmare my brenna will be 3 may 1st and she has no interest it the potty ive try the rewards and the chart ive tryed tell her diapers r for babies and asked her if she was a baby and she tells me yes i went out with her and made a big mommy bebe day to buy big girls panties with dora on them and she acts excited when we got home about wearing panties and i tried getting her to sit on the potty and she just freaks out then she pees in the panties and it doesnt even bother it like she'd rather sit in pissy panties then pee in the potty But she has gone in the potty once or twice and me,her dad,and my 4 year old gave her so much prasie then its all over she back to her normal self


I just feel like ive done everything

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Carrie - posted on 03/25/2010

2

4

0

At this point I feel your pain I have 3 children and my first was the worst my middle child was a breeze and now my almost 3 year old is trying my patience. But you know what I have learned that they want control to do it when they are ready with out any pressure from any one else. if your going to be home go for the underwear but you'll probly go thru about 5 changes in a day but when I go out I use pull ups just to save from embarrassing accidents. I still try to treat them the same. Don't worry you are doing all you can don't give up!

Jennifer - posted on 03/23/2010

39

31

2

She's probably just not ready. I started trying with my son (he'll be 3 on May 30th) and at first he was into it. But eventually he just didn't want to bother. I fought with him for a bit about it but I decided to just leave it alone until he was really ready. I don't want it to be a horrible experience for either of us. And I know if I push it, it will just take longer.

Kara - posted on 03/13/2010

10

44

0

My mother in law and I were talking about this as I am having the same trouble with my son. Her attitude is that there are only 3 things kids that age really have total control over, what they actually put in their mouths and eat, when they actually close their eyes and sleep, and when they are potty trained. As parents we put good food on their plate and encourage them to eat it, we rock them and set the stage for sleep and encourage and teach them good sleeping habits and the same philosophy goes for potty training. Just keep encouraging her and keep talking about it and when she is ready it will happen. Not one minute sooner for all our talking, bribing, conjoling, frustration, or effort. Unfortunately, because I myself and SO ready to be done with diapers! I have heard that pushing too hard can cause them to get even more stubborn about it and especially boys can withhold and get infections and constipated. The other little jem my mother in law is fond of saying is that in all her years in early childhood development she has yet to see a otherwise healthy child not be potty trained by the time they go to kindergarden.

Hope this helps. The ah ha moment for me was when I realized that it wasn't up to me to potty train him. It's up to me to set the stage for him to learn on his own how to use the potty.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

26 Comments

View replies by

Laura - posted on 05/19/2010

9

11

1

My son just turned 3 yesterday and has been potty trained for the last 6 months. The honest truth is, they really dont want to wet themselves but transitioning to something new like using the potty is hard to keep up with when there busy so why not just pee our pants, mommy and daddy will make it better. What i did was, one day i just said, you know what, im done with this, so i took all his diaper and put them up somewhere and told my son that there were no more and since he didnt like peeing in his shorts, when he had to pee pee he told me he had to go and went to the potty, in a week he was on that potty everytime he had to go, with little to no accidents, it works trust me. good luck, it can be tough but they wont need diapers forever.

Carmen - posted on 05/13/2010

3

22

0

when we red the book i sometimes used her name instead of the girl in the book, and that she liked very much , so it was big fun, I still sometimes have to remember her to go to the toilet , my girl liked also more to go to the big toilet like mummy, i bought a smaller thing to put ontop so she can sit on her own and red a book if it doe'st come easy, so ite's big fun to go to toilet.

Carmen - posted on 05/13/2010

3

22

0

don't give up . in summer i just let her walk without wipers, i took all summer she just became two, just to let her feel that's was nicer then with dipers , it did'nt work she liked her potty but was not interested....then i bought a little book about potty about a gril her age who got a potty from her granny, very nice drawings and fun to read, nothing happend , then one day we had a visit from a little girl a half year younger, and she was on the potty all the time by her self. So that was my solution she got interested and never stopt, and everytime she went to the potty also for trying she got a sticker and she glew it in her potty book and every night we red the pottybook and looked at the stickers and talked about it. almost at the same time she didn't use dipers at night . I also stopt using dipers outsite at the same time , to give her confidence, I trained her and still do , to go to the toillet before and after we go outsite, and when accidents happend I never make a probleme, just mensioned it's a little accident we will wash it no probleme. there are some children programme that go's about the potty , if they like the programme , it will also help, good luck

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2010

2

40

0

thats what i did to my 2 1/2 year old son i left him run around with no under pants and i even got him his out potty seat for down stairs so when he had to pee and just sat on that and went to the bathroom. them he wanted to go up stairs to pee and every thing just started to work so i put on his underpant and he didnt have any problems at all.and now i just got to get him to go at night. but i think it will come soon.now i just have to get my one year old potty trained and i will be good.

Rochelle - posted on 04/29/2010

16

41

0

Try not to make a big deal about it. It sounds like she's scared. They will start to do it when they are ready. just don't put her in pullups I feel that when they wear them they act like they are diapers and just go in them. make her wear panties and just keep putting her on the potty when she wakes up after she eats or drinks and before bed make a routine out of it. and eventually she will start to go. Good luck.

Anna - posted on 04/28/2010

13

9

0

My son will be 3 on 27May and he was interested for a while. Then, he realized his playtime is interrupted by having to use the potty so now when he has undies on and has to go he comes to me and asks for a diaper!!!! ARG it is frusterating but I stay calm and let him have a choice if he wants to pee on the potty or in a diaper. He is having a hard time with being a "big boy" and tells me when he gets big he wants to cry because he wants to stay my baby. SOOO the big boy approch isnt working either. He doesnt care about rewards or sticker charts..offer him a treat for potty and he will shrug it off if he doesnt want to use the potty. Sticker chart was useless for him too. "Thats ok mommy I dont need a sticker" I just keep repeating to myself:he will learn someday. It doesnt help that my mother had my older brother potty trained at 18 mos (i guess i was between 3 and 4 as i was difficult) but everyone likes to point out my child is still in diapers. I just smile and say he will when he is ready. I guess I didnt offer any advice either cuz Im in the same boat but hang in there! I am trying to as well :)

[deleted account]

Don't push your child to do it because that makes them back away from it. My daughter will be 3 next month & I'm getting her potty trained. She wasn't big on it at first & we did push her a bit & she backed down. We waited then tried again, but didn't pressure her to do it. We also let her pick out her own undies & what color potty she wanted. They will be more into it if they seem like they feel they get choices. They will have accidents & you need to let them know that it's not right to go pee or poop in our pants. When they do use the potty give them praise & make them feel good about themselves. That will help them to do it more. Hope it helps

Shruti - posted on 04/27/2010

14

19

1

Hi,
My son got potty trained at his daycare. He is turning 3 now and started daycare when he turned 1. They refused to let him in with his diapers and lo he was dry in the day. i am still struggling with the nights, its just been 2 days now that he's been dry..

Shirley - posted on 04/24/2010

4

40

1

My son will be 3 on May 28 he is very good with number 1 and always tell me when he wants to go. We take started in the garden "watering the plants" it worked really well. He got freaked out everytime he missed the toilet so we got him to wee in the shower and then rinse it off. He will now get in the shower pull his pants down wee and then tell us to rinse it off. Night time was fine he actually told us that he is no baby and refuse to wear a nappy only had one accident in 4 months. But then we went on holidayn and we put a nappy on as the road was very long and we couldnt stop everytime he wanted to. After this he had a couple of accidents again but nothing major. We still battle with number 2 he tells us but only after he already started not before the time. Someone at school told me her son was the same untill he reach 3 then it was all over. Hopefully this will happen soon. Good luck and stay calm. For the mommy's with boys try the garden or the shower it does work.

Holly - posted on 04/10/2010

19

25

2

I take my daughter in the bathroom with me when i go. She sees what mommy does and wants to do the same. Now my daughter says she needs to pee and i go in and stay with her until she is done then she is reward with a sticker of her choice.

Cindy - posted on 04/08/2010

3

41

0

You are sooooo speaking my story here. My little girl will be 3 on May 1st as well and NOTHING I do is getting her interested in the potty. My two boys were easier to train and I am about to give up. She is registered for preschool for the Fall and I fear she will not be able to go if she is not out of diapers. I don't have any answers to offer, sorry, but just letting ya know you are not alone! I guess we both just need to hang in there, not give up and remember not to see this challenge as a disobedient act, just one of patience and love, they will eventually do it, maybe just not on OUR time line.

Kelly - posted on 04/07/2010

6

34

1

same here i have almost had Rachelle trained 3 times already, the first time she was dry for weeks when i got her there, then we had Liam and back to nothing. then the next 2 times almost the same thing but she got gastro one time and the other she just had a cold and when she gets a cold she coughs so much she vomits all the time so now we are back to nothing
i have tried everything that you have too,
but we are now finding that it may be medical with Rachelle as she dosent do no 2 for 3-5 days so now back and forth to the children s hospital
hope that you sort yours out don't give up

Carly - posted on 04/03/2010

12

1

2

WOW my daughter will be 3 on may 1st aswell. Im also having trouble with the potty. I ask her " do u wanna wear a nappy or nic nics" she always says nic nics and i tell her if she need to go peepee to tell me, and she tells me.........after she goes peepee, id suggest put her on the potty in the morning whe she wakes up. 30mins after she finishes a drink and before bedtime, my daughter now says she wants to go peepee on the potty....saving lots of cash without buying nappies aswell. Hope it helps, good luck!

Kudirat - posted on 04/03/2010

9

8

0

am also having the same problem, my daughter will be 3yrs old in May and she's still on diaper have tried potty trained her but the whole thing is not just working am about to give up. My daughter will say mummy poo is coming, i will have 2 put her on the potty for hours she will not pee or poo as soon as she wear her diaper or pant then she will wee on herself. she does'nt like wearing diaper bcos some of her mate in creche wear pant but then she will not talk when she want to poo or pee

Carry - posted on 03/29/2010

1

1

0

Don't freak you are noy the first one. I haven't experienced what you have, Lexi was too easy. I have a 4 year old niece that lives next door and the kids spend a lot of time together. She is probably the reason it was so easy for my little girl. Try to find little girls a little older than her and find time for her to spend with them and while they are playing mabie she will follow her to potty. It worked great for me and I think it may help you.

Tammie - posted on 03/28/2010

1

12

0

I have a 2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy. I tried many different things also. My daughter would tell me her belly hurt and I would take her in potty and she would poop in the potty. My son would pee in the potty but not poop. We finally did a chart with stickers and if they went potty without accidents we would take them to McDonalds and let them play in the play area. I think that was the one thing that helped the most. My son pretty much took it upon himself to go poop on the potty after that. He just came up me to me and said "mommy I pooped in the potty". Now he does it all the time. I don't know if it is a light switch that finally kicks on or what. But my son will be 4 in two weeks and he just started going in the potty all the time about a month ago.. My daughter is now pretty much potty trained. She has an accidnet every now and then. I am just thankful that I don't have to have her in a diapers another year!

Just keep it up... and try not to get to frustrated. I know it is hard not to, but she will be potty trained soon. =)

Tracy - posted on 03/28/2010

2

15

0

I started my daughter off early when it came to potty training. We started before she even turned a year old. It was always just her and I at the house so I would bring her in the bathroom with me when I had to go pee. When she started walking at about 8 months, we brought the little potty in and put it right beside the big one and every time I would go I would sit down to do what I had to, I would take her diaper off and let her sit like a big girl next to me. She loved it I would just tell her that she did good even if she didn't peepee in it. It didn't take long for her to realize that it was just easier for her to go in the potty vs. fighting me to change her diaper. By the time she was 1 we only had the ocassion accidents. We did have, I guess you could say, a relapse, because we had some major life changes happen, but that's when the reward with sticker chart came into play, and she was fine after we got settled back down. Good Luck.

Brittany - posted on 03/27/2010

5

15

1

With my 2 year old started potty traning it was really hard, but I found that if I told her I'll be there everytime she has to go it would be fine. It worked a little but then I told her if she wants to sleep in a big girl bed that she needs to pee in her big girl potty. We had some little pee's and poopys here and there but now she's going to be 3 in may and she goes to the bathroom with out me and everything.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/27/2010

3

6

0

i sympathise completely as we are also in the process with my son who is 3 on the 21st may. there are moments when it all gets a little much and i become the worst mum in the world by shouting and getting cross. However i convince myself that we are both being trained and that it is a team effort - we use chocolate buttons which helps and we have found a prize for him to have once he has got the idea and isn't having accidents during the day (well at least not every time). We are going to see grandparents over easter so will be roping them in for moral support and if he makes a real effort in the next week and while we are there he gets his prize which he can physically see on a daily basis. Hopefully this gives us a little incentive. I have considered putting him back in nappies but he is capable of doing this for a whole day with his other grandparents and so i think we have all got ourselves in a tizz. Am plodding on maybe the easter bunny will bring me a sense of humour and patience!!!

Jo - posted on 03/16/2010

15

7

1

Hi Alicia,

I'm not sure how much help this will be, but I'll give you my experience. I only potty-trained my son about 7 weeks ago, so it's really quite recent. Prior to that, I'd tried the idea of a chart and the whole thing was a bit much for my son. (If it doesn't get climbed on, kicked, thrown or have wheels, he's really not interested. Unless it's a dinosaur. But that's another story.) I also tried the "Are you a baby?" routine, and he told me that he was a baby. He liked the idea of undies "like Daddy", but he had no interest in trading in his nappies for them.

In the past, I'd tried to put him in undies, encouraged him to sit on the potty, read him books about potties etc. He'd sit on the potty for about a minute and a half and then try to leave - or freak out when he couldn't. And if he wet himself, he'd look at me and then keep playing anyway.

After 1 or 2 of these accidents in a day, I'd give up for the day (so as not to freak him out), put a nappy on him, and say we'd try again another day.

So I finally had enough of it and toilet trained him in 3 days. No nappies day or night, all done. And although he's had a few accident since then, I can count them all on one hand.

I went with a 2-prong approach (1 to encourage him, and 1 to encourage me). First, I made sure that I had plenty of pairs of undies, and that I didn't have to go anywhere for a good few days. And I stocked up on his favourite treat - freddo chocolate buttons.

First thing in the morning, I put him in his undies and got him to model in front of the mirror while he was wearing them. (He's a boy - he loves to look at himself in the mirror!) Then I took him with me while I went and threw all of the nappies in the rubbish. (I secretly kept a stash of them just in case this didn't work - but I didn't want him to know that!)

Then we went and sat on the potty and I explained to him again what the potty was for. As soon as he'd been sitting on the potty for longer than 10 seconds, I gave him a chocolate and told him that he was a very good boy for sitting on the potty for so long.

Once he'd finished the chocolate, I let him get up and we put his undies on again. Inevitably, he had an accident a short while later. I made a big fuss of "quick, quick, quick, on the potty!" and held his hand while we ran to the potty, took off his undies and sat down. I asked him whether he needed to do any more, and gave him a chocolate for being so good and sitting on the potty.

I kept a really close eye on his liquid intake during the day, and half an hour after he had a big drink, I'd get him to go and sit on the potty and give him a chocolate again. I'd also sit with him and talk and read books as he ate the chocolate. By the second time, I explained that if he managed to do something on the potty, then he'd actually get *two* chocolates.

Both of those things (on the potty after an accident & on the potty 1/2 hour after drinking) went on all day, and in the end we managed to successfully catch some pee. At which point he got his 2 chocolates.

By day 2, he only got his chocolate reward when he actually did something on the potty (not just for sitting on it). And by day 3, he got an even better reward - he got to help put the poo/wee in the toilet and "press go" to watch everything go "round and round and round". (Besides, I'd run out of chocolate by then.)

I found that the chocolate reward worked really well for encouraging him to just sit on the potty in the first place. It was the afternoon of day 1 when he was having his 5th accident of the day (and I was seriously sick of cleaning them up!) when he looked down and announced with great surprise "Tris make waterfall!" From that point on, we've called wees 'waterfalls', and I realised that until that point, he didn't really understand where the 'waterfall' came from. It was a huge turning point, and from there, the chocolate helped encourage him to sit on the potty when he thought that he might be about to 'waterfall'.

I also found that by ceremonially throwing away the nappies, neither of us was able to decide halfway through the day that it was all too hard, and we'd try again later. In terms of my own mental stamina, it made a big difference. And Tris didn't have the opportunity to decide that he wanted to still be a baby.

Maybe you'll find some ideas or inspiration in there for your own girl. Good luck!

Jo

Stephanie - posted on 03/13/2010

5

0

0

i have not long toilet trained my 2 yr old daughter and we stayed in for a whole week so that she could run around with no pants on and we didnt have a single accident, she didnt like the potty either so we got a seat to go on top of the toilet seat which seemed to be better for her as that was where she knew it was ok to pee as she has never seen anyone use the potty so i would suggest to try that and see if it helps at all, then when she has accolmplished that put pants on, when we did that our daughter only had one accident in them and that was a poo!!! hope i have helped

Melanie - posted on 03/12/2010

5

11

1

You've probably already tried this, but there are books for kids about going to the potty. My son really seemed to get the message better with Elmo's Potty Time. We're still not trained for #2 yet, but he stays dry all day now. Hang in there!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms