Am I a bad mom???

Tracie - posted on 01/04/2010

To answer your question...NO you are not a bad mom!!!

Everyone has different challenges with their kids. My son (who is 5 now) hit the terrible 2s at 18 months and it sounds alot like what you are going through. The best thing I did was find support. It's great that you have this board but try to go find a mom's group or playgroup to give you some support. Besides that, if you are able, try to take time out for yourself. Even if its just 5 minutes here and there. I always found that it was that time that saved my sanity.

Luckily, so far, my 19 month old hasn't hit this stage. Now if I could just get her to sleep. But that's a different story.

Clara - posted on 01/04/2010

Some LO's go through a super attached phase its normal. sometimes it worse then others. Your baby just wants your constant attention and not having it makes him/her upset. Have you tried other outlets of keeping the baby entertained so that you can work? I know when i need to clean i put my son in his swing and turn on a marathon of Wow Wow Wubzy and give him a bottle, or i set him down for a nap.... have you tried any of these? Kids can really push buttons. get a routine in and things might smooth out? maybe.

Lisa - posted on 01/03/2010

Is there some where you can put him when he gets like this? A play pen or crib? My daughter gets crabby some times and I get frustrated with her. Everyone has their limits and a crabby baby like this can definately push the limits quickly. I try to keep a level head and explain things. When she screams I tell her we don't scream at each other. If my daughter is hitting I explain we don't hit and sit her down on the couch or in her crib for a couple minutes. She'll scream her head off and as soon as she calms down again I'll go in to get her. I always tell her I love her before I walk away from her. If it's getting too much for you to handle definately call someone to give you a break, that's why I suggested the play pen or crib first though. I've had to call me mom a couple times because I was in tears I was so frustrated with my little girl.

Amy - posted on 01/03/2010

I understand, our son has started the terrible twos early as it seems. We've noticed a few things that tend to make him more crabby.

If he's got teeth coming through (In the last week or two he had three teeth break through). If we address this it helps most of the time (Tylenol and several different chewing toys including one that is freezable, sometimes we'll even give him frozen green beans).

Sometimes he'll hit his head when teething to help with the pain, when he does this he'll put something out of whack and hurt even more. We'll take him to a chiropractor for this, helps a LOT.

Then the rest of the time it's just attention. We have started to give him choices and that seems to calm him down more. Give him a choice of what to wear, what to eat, etc. When giving him the choices we only give options that we approve of.

We also give him time outs, we as we bring him to his time out we remind him what he did wrong and ask him to think about it, then when we come and get him we make him give us a bug hug (not that that's ever an issue after a time out) as well as hug anyone he may have "hurt".

Hitting and kicking is an automatic time out in our house hold, it has taken about 2 or 3 weeks, but we have found he's starting to not do it anymore. He does, however, test his boundaries and "pat" us to see how hard patting is.

To me it sounds like you've been doing a great job so far! He sounds like a good kid. I read from a few places that around 1 1/2 or so years that they start to test there boundaries by kicking and hitting, etc. It's just a phase (or at least hopefully it is), and as long as you stay strong and discipline him how ever your house hold does it, then in given time when he realizes that you stick to it he'll move on to something else.

Also, we have found if he's doing said behavior and gotten two time outs for it close in time we'll try to re-direct him to do something else, sometimes just a change in room will help.

Missi - posted on 01/02/2010

i understan getting super frustrated witha needy boy, mine does this a ttimes too, if he hits you let him know that is not ok, and walk away, if he screams at you, tell him do not scream at mommya nd walk away, throws a fit, tell him mommy cannot talk to you when you are acting liek this, and walk away, he will get it eventually,and if you get overwellmed, call in the reinforcments, take a break you are a wonderful mom, you love your child you just gotta figure out how you want to disipline him and stick too it. good luck!

Hilary - posted on 01/01/2010

I think no one has replied yet because clearly you are a very caring Mom to be so worried about this. I read a book - "No Cry Discipline solutions" which is not so much about discipline aas learning to work with your kid to make a peaceful situation for both of you. maybe it would help. I like all the no cry books. This too will pass, and your loving boy will return.