I need some serious help...

Whitney - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My 14 month old has started screaming at me. I'm not talking upset, crying, I have hurt feelings screams. I'm talking "I'M PISSED AT YOU, YOU ARE THE WORLDS WORST MOMMY, I HATE YOU" screams. Almost like a growl. I'll be honest I've time outs, talking to her, etc NOTHING is working. The worst thing is when she does it in public. I'm at wits end with her screaming. Any advice

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Elena - posted on 08/07/2009

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Yeah I gotta try that. Sucks to take him home every time though. The park is like 15 mins walk away and getting him into the stroller if he's against it is veeeeery very difficult (and embarassing). I'm gonna try ignoring his tantrums too b/c they're starting get more and more frequent.

Whitney - posted on 08/07/2009

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See Myli doesn't do that. But if she did I would pick her up and take her straight home. She loves to be outside, but if she's going to throw a fit and not share then she doesn't deserve to be there. JMO

Elena - posted on 08/07/2009

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Vic does that. He has horrible tantrums. If he doesn't get what he wants he throws toys, throws himself on the floor and sometimes hits my hand. It usually passes w/in a min or two. Yea I dred going to parks b/c if he sees some car toy that some other kid has he'll throw a fit if I don't let him go over and play w/ it. I think it might just be the age. Although I'd love suggestions on what to do w/ this too lol.

Angela - posted on 08/07/2009

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I've read too that you should just ignore it. They are looking for a reaction, if you don't give one, they will eventually stop. My son has started screeching and screaming in public places. He has learned that everyone turns to look when he does it! It's very embarrassing for me. I usually just pick him up and leave until he quiets down.

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has anything changed in her environment lately?? that could be something to think about. my son is 14months old and has temper tantrums and i find the ignoring thing works, and if he really pushes his luck he gets put in his pushchair and put in the hall (the other side of our livingroom door) until he calms down. so if the ignoring works keep doing that, eventually they will grow out of it and into the terrible two's!! good luck.

Whitney - posted on 08/04/2009

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No I've tried. She will sometimes show me what it is she wants but it's far and few between when she actually tries to tell me. She's been doing much better. The time outs really seem to be helping!!!

Alison - posted on 08/04/2009

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If she is screaming out of frustration, can you ask her to show you what she wants? My daughter will grab me by the finger and take me to what she wants.

My little one is a screamer too and it can be embarrassing in public places, but do not let that affect your parenting. Try to act according to your daughter's needs and not according to what others will think of you. (Hard to do, I know!)

Ultimately, if she is not getting payoff for this behavior, she will stop.

Whitney - posted on 07/27/2009

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I have actually tried the time out thing. She pretty well stop when I say "Do you want to go to the corner?" She'll stop and then proceed much calmer. It's worked pretty well. She sat in the corner about 3 or 4 times til it worked but it worked. Of course following the 1 min/ yr of age rule.

Rebekah - posted on 07/25/2009

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My son did this for a while. I sit him about 3 feet away from me and tell him he may have his tantrum "right here" . That way I have some space and reduce the damage to my ears. When he is quieter, I go over and say "Are you ready to be sweet?" and give him a hug. If he starts up again, its back to sitting seperately until he is actually calm. He got pretty mad about it, but now I just set him down and move away and by the time I find a spot for myself, he's done. Also, I have tried to teach him how to ask for help in an appropriate way, by raising his hand and saying "help" otherwise known as "haw". Good luck and remember that although it seems like it is lasting forever, this too will pass!

Nikki - posted on 07/24/2009

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Maybe try telling her that "crying and screaming does not work for me, I do not understand what you want when you are acting this way. Calm down and tell me/point to me what it is that you want." Babies are smart, if it is communication that is frustrating her, she'll figure out a way to tell you. Try and stay calm, she can feel when you're not. Good luck!

User - posted on 07/23/2009

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My son will also scream at me sometimes. I too will either ignore him and just let him work it out, or I will tell him "Ma-ma knows your mad. You are mad...it is alright to be mad." And sometimes when I tell him that he will just stop and look at me like I was able to answer all of his frustrations and he goes back to playing. Most of the time I have to repeat my self a few times before he actually "hears" what I am saying over his screaming.

Whitney - posted on 07/22/2009

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I've thought of that very thing...I dread those words. I know they're coming. That doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it. I know what the problem is. She knows what it is she wants and there's no way to communicate it to me. It would be hard not to be able to tell someone that is supposed to supply your needs that you need something. It's got to be frustrating. But it's just as frustrating to me to have her yelling at me all the time. Today was the worst of it all. She woke up screaming at me and it NEVER stopped all day. It's been a bad day for the both of us!

Deidre - posted on 07/22/2009

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yuck, I'm definitely with the ignore thing. When my daughter does this at home she goes in her crib in her room and I shut the door until she calms down some (luckily she isn't able to climb out yet). When we're out in public, depending on where we are, I've left to go home so as to not bother other people with her horrible attitude. I'm hoping when she starts talking more she'll learn to use words instead of screaming though... then I get to be afraid at what she says (I hate you mommy comes to mind... not looking forward to that).

Whitney - posted on 07/22/2009

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I posted this kind of thing as my status and I've had other people tell me the same thing. I'm definitely going to have to try it. Thanks!

Jessica - posted on 07/22/2009

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when my son screams at me, for any reason, I just let him scream and I ignore it.. usually he stops screaming after a few minutes... I've been told by others that if they do anything like this just ignore them and the will learn that it doesn't do anything... let me know if this helps :)

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