My 5 month old will not sleep in his crib, and recently wants the boob everytime he wakes up at night (he is sleeping in my bed) any advice?

Jessica - posted on 11/11/2008

Hi Tiffany,

I had the same problem with my son Kai. The only difference is he is bottle fed. I agree with Laura, I could not let him cry eithor I had such a hard time with it. One night my boyfriend and I went to a concert and left Kai with a good friend and she put him in his crib to fall asleep and from then on he has been sleeping in his crib. That was half the battle. What my doctor told me about the feedings in the middle of the night is give hime water. It will fill up his belly enough to fall back to sleep but then he will start eating more during the day. It took about a week for him to fully sleep through the night but it worked! I know you brestfeed so a bottle of water may not be an option for you but talk to your Dr about it. Also he will be on solids possibly soon so that will stay in his stomach a little longer than milk to keep him happy through the night. Hopefully. All the best



Jessica

Jasmine - posted on 11/07/2008

Hi there! My son did that when he was in our bed, but then I started putting him down for naps in his crib, and gradually doing the same at night. He only came into our bed for feedings and as soon as he was finished, I put him back. When we went on vacation this summer and I didn't have another choice, he would constantly pull at my shirt to nurse, even though he usually only woke once to eat. I knew it was the smell. So, on rough nights when he can't calm down, I leave one of my shirts in his crib, or swaddle him, rub his belly and give him a pacifier until he calms, then walk away. Most of the time, he soothes himself and falls asleep without eating (only his usual feeding time). It did take about 2 weeks to get him adjusted to the nighttime crib (which was when he was 3 months, and had been always napping in the crib daytime).

Good luck!

Lisa - posted on 11/03/2008

My son always sleeps in his crib BUT he use to wake up a lot at night and the only thing I could do was nurse him or give him a soothie and he would go back to sleep. He just learned to associate certain things we did with going to sleep. I bought and read Dr. Feber's book and used his method to change our sons sleep association. It was hard the first night but after a few nights of it he wakes up and goes back to sleep on his own. I didn't use this method with our first child cause she was very different and I am not sure it would have work on her. She could cry and fuss for hours! I do know now is a very good and important time for babies to learn how to sleep fall asleep on their own. You are the mom though and you know what is best for you baby!

Amanda - posted on 11/03/2008

Hi again, Tiffany. It looks like he goes to bed around 6 or 7pm after he eats? Oliver ALWAYS wants to sleep then (he eats around 6 or 7, too), but I wake him up and keep him awake until his bath at 8pm (that keeps him awake easily) and then he eats around 8:30, asleep by 9. Your little guy might also sleep longer if he stayed up a bit later. You could try keeping him up an extra half hour to start?



That's great that he's used to his crib. It will make it a lot easier to transition bedtime there, too.



LOVE the penguin suit, by the way. :) so cute.

Megan - posted on 11/02/2008

I had the same exact problem when my son was 5 months old! I slept with him every night until about a month ago! Finally I consulted in Grandma and she told me just to put him in his crib & let him cry it out! My son wakes up and whines for a minute then falls back asleep after I give him his pacifier! After I did this a few times he got used to it & now when I put him in his bed at night he doesn't cry at all!

Allison - posted on 11/02/2008

I'm in the same boat (bed) with you. With my first baby I put her in the crib from the start. This time around I decided to let Natalie sleep in a co-sleeper thinking it would be easier on me. Now we have ended up sleeping together at night in the same bed. I know I need to break this habit and have read that there is window of opportunity around 6 months where you can do it more easily than if you wait until later. Like you, I have something in the crib that smell like me. Natalie will sleep 30 min to an hour in the crib and then wakes up crying. She won't take a pacifier of any kind other than the breast. I plan to try the suggestion re: stretching out the feedings. Let me know what is working for you if anything - and know that you aren't alone!!

Lindsay - posted on 11/02/2008

Hi there! I haven't read many of the other posts, but my 5 month old is doing it too! Glad to hear I am not the only one. I know it is Exhausting! I tend to lean more toward attachment parenting so I am not sure you will like this advice, but just let him do it! He will grow out of it. There could be several reasons why... 1- cutting teeth 2-Ear infection 3-growth spurt 4-change in eating/sleeping patterns. 5-he may just need to feel close to you or it may make him feel safe and secure.

If you really just don't want him in bed with you, try giving him a little rice cereal before bedtime. It may fill his little belly and let him sleep a little better. Also, if it is his teeth or ears, he may be more comfortable sleeping upright. Try buckling him into his car seat and putting the car seat in his crib. He probably won't sleep ALL night, but you may get 2-3 hours.... anything is better than nothing.

Hope it helps!

Take care,

Lindsay

Savannah - posted on 11/01/2008

When my son did that i had to let him cry it out. it was heart wrenching but it did the job. If money isnt a worry or you could spare some, buy a mobile that has a million different lights sounds music and what not. helps keep them busy. As far as sleeping through the night, rice cereal in the bottle. Take a fork prong and stick it through the hole on the nipple just a little bit to widen it, not so much as to make him get to much and give him about a scoop in a half before bed in his bottle. It wil fill his belly. I gave both my children rice cereal at 2 months old. Not bc i didnt want to get up with them, but my son was 11lbs at birth so i didnt have a choice with that hungry boy and i saw it worked with him so i gave it to my daughter, worked well with her. Dont go by the book, go buy instinct.

Tiffany - posted on 11/01/2008

I am so glad I posted this question. There are so many options that I have not even heard of before. I do put him to nap in his crib during the day (and he sleeps fine for about 45 mins). I also occassionally put him in the crib while I fold laundry in his room or have to run to the washroom, so he is very familiar with it. I also have put a pillowcase from our bed in his crib under the sheet so he smells us. He doesn't use a soother, he just never liked then, I've tried, however he does suck his thumb and soothes himself that way. He is just so... spoiled I guess, he knows that I am always there to pick him up, it just seems that he is becoming more demanding. Before when he would wake up it was a lot of babbling and he would entertain himself, not it is an immediate whimper that turns into a cry it I do not respond. I guess it wiill just take time. I have started to give him cereal (pablum) at his last meal before bed (usually between 6-7.. he eats every 3 hours during the day 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm - give or take 30 mins. if a nap is longer than usual) and I have a routine that I have been doing for about 3 months now... bath, eat, bed. I look forward to more ideas... I am ready to try them all.

Brittany - posted on 11/01/2008

I have to say, this seems to be a common problem with 5 month olds. My son did the same and my daughter is currently in that same 5 month attachment. From what ive experienced (and researched) its just a phase, probably just a growth spurt. I would recommend picking up a book called "the wonder weeks". It helped me out a lot when it came to trying to solve my childrens 'issues'. Turns out, most of their issues were just growth spurts.

Hope this helps, I promise it gets better.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/01/2008

I have put my 5 month old in the crib while he's awake and let him play in it. When he naps during the day, I try to put him in it so that he gets comfortable being in it. During the night right now he sleeps beside my bed.

Amanda - posted on 11/01/2008

A question: does he nap in his crib during the day? It will be easier to get him to sleep there at night if he's there during the day, too. I had to stop being on the road during Oliver's afternoon nap because he got so he'd only want to sleep in his car seat. But of course, when we made that not an option, he eventually fell asleep in his bed.



One more thing :) The downside to starting a pacifier (if he would take it), is eventually you will have to wean that, too. And if he falls asleep with it, he may start waking up when he notices that it fell out. Then you'll have that to deal with instead of the breast. :) I'd really just try to train him to sleep on his own. Th

Amanda - posted on 11/01/2008

Hi there :) I just have one little guy (5 months), but my source of info is a mom of 7 (ages 8-20) who breastfed them all for their first year and trained them to sleep through the night, in their own beds, starting at 8 weeks. This is a different way to train than letting them cry alone for hours! (I tried our pediatrician's Ferber method with Oliver, and he never cried himself to sleep once awake in the night. I let him cry for an hour once!) SO!!!



Once your cutie is getting to sleep on his own, this will work for getting him through the night:



The reason it works is because you're gradually stretching the time between his night feedings, and he will adjust to eat more during the day.



When he wakes up (say, at 1am), respond to him right away by being at his crib and checking his diaper (change if neccesary, then put back). Rub his chest - with Oliver, I knew he wouldn't fall back to sleep. Some babies do, but either way the time between feedings is being lengthened. So the first night, I waited five minutes before feeding him. I was there rubbing him the whole wait time, so he knows you love him, but it's just not time to eat yet. Then feed him, put him back in the crib, and repeat the process when he wakes up again.



The second night, wait ten minutes before you feed him every time he wakes up.



For Oliver, this is all it took. The third night, he slept two more hours than normal. If that didn't happen, just add on five minutes again and wait 15 before feeding. So once the baby is sleeping longer, let that schedule remain for the rest of the week, or for an additional week.



Then, you can just start over again, and when he wakes up for the first time at 3am, you wait five minutes before feeding him. Same thing. Ten the next night, and so one. He'll start sleeping longer. Oliver now sleeps 9pm to 6am.



Growth spurts will happen, and suddenly he'll wake up at 2am again - you start training again! It takes your body a few days to catch up to the new food demand during the day, so it may take that long to adjust. But if you're consistent with it, it works. Tried and true. :)



And for the next baby, despite what Dr. Sears has popularized, maybe let him or her sleep in their crib from the start. It seems to be best for everyone in the long run - especially when we are fruitful and multiply, and our toddlers are completely happy to climb into their bed and go to sleep. One baby up in the night at a time, PLEASE! :)



Good luck :) It takes patience, and may take longer to train since he's starting a bit older. You're not alone!

Virginia - posted on 10/31/2008

Tiffany, I would highly recommend the book "On Becoming Baby Wise". It's a quick and easy read and will change your life with babies! I don't know if you demand feed your little one or have him on a schedule but this book helps you understand how to train your child to a schedule. My daughter has been sleeping in her crib since week one and started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. I owe it all to BabyWise!!! Read it!! It has a chapter on starting the process late.

Carolina - posted on 10/31/2008

Does he use a binkie? I don't know what I would do without it. We have 3 kids & all of them used one. Sometimes it just helps them sooth themselves back to sleep. I say try it if you haven't, Mama needs some sleep too! Whatever works... Also if he is missing you at night, try laying him down on a shirt with your scent in the crib, that helps with out little guy.

Deb - posted on 10/31/2008

Hello Tiffany, my name is Deb, Im a nana first time round, I take care of little 5 month old Holly 1 night/day a week , she seems to sleep better at my house than at her mum and dads. I think maybe there is a unspoken rule that kids just act up for mum and dad, I do remember that when my kids were little. However maybe try putting the crib next to your bed, so you are in arms reach to begin with. your little one will still feel close without being in your bed. Its not easy making changes like this but persevere, try comforting in other ways , when babe wakes, a nice tight tuck in or back rub, or what ever it takes repeat it over and over again, I know its tirering, but eventually it does pay off. Just make it quick and quiet each time , bubs will feel secure with that and eventually fall into a full nights sleep. Good luck and remember he/she wont be doing that when they are 20....

Tiffany - posted on 10/31/2008

Thanks for the great advice. It is encouraging, and nice to know I am not alone! Keep the advice coming.

Heidi - posted on 10/31/2008

I've had the exact same problem with my 5 month old daughter, who has been sleeping in our bed since birth. I started getting so darn tired and it felt like she was waking up all the time, so I decided it was time to try to put her in her own bed. And guess what? It was no problem at all! I nursed her, then let her know that now mommy was going to put her in bed. I stroked her hair for a while to help her calm down, and after a little whining her eyes just closed and she fell asleep. She still wakes up a couple of times at night, and I nurse her twice, but that's nothing compared to what it was before. The nursing at night has to stop soon, I know that, but I thought I'd take it one change at a time. It's more important that I get my sleep too, so with the new energy I can take on the next challenge! If your son cries a lot when you put him in his crib, hold him for a while and then put him back, so he learns that that's where his supposed to sleep. This advice I got from an experienced nurse, and for us it has worked. I've been doing this for a week now. I hope this was of some help for you! Good luck!

Anna - posted on 10/30/2008

I JUST let my little guy cry it out for the first time tonight. I NEVER thought I could do it but started a local mom's group and the instructor was telling us at six months on is when babies will start habits so you need to get serious about teaching them. So tonight my husband is at his bball league and I tried everything to get him down (my husbands been spoiling him with rocking him to sleep more often than not but it doesn't work for me) so I was basically at my wits end and listened to him cry for 28 minutes before he finally fell asleep. The time went by pretty darn quick surprisingly but I was very tense the whole time. His cries were indicating he wasn't in pain or struggling so that made me feel better. The past few nights he's been getting up often at night so I think this will need to be a consistent thing from here on out. I'll keep you updated!

Tanya - posted on 10/30/2008

My advice would be to start putting him in his bed. It will be hard at first, especially if he's been sleeping in your bed since birth, but you and he will get a much better nights sleep. I would venture to say he wants to nurse everytime b/c its available to him. If he were in his own bed in all likelyhood he would turn over and go back to sleep. I actually had to go a step further and turn the monitor of in my room and just sleep with the door open so I wasn't waking up every time my little one made the smallest peep. I had to accept that it is okay for them to cry. Hope this helps.

Laura - posted on 10/29/2008

Hi Tiffany. My 5 month old Littleman is having similar issues. Not sure that I have much advise but I do have lots of sympathy. My son usually sleeps in his crib for part of the night (usually from 9pm-1am and then from 6-8am) but from 1am-6am, he's usually in our bed and nurses at least twice during that time. Last week, his doctor tried to convince me that we HAVE to stop feeding him at night and train him to sleep through the night by letting him cry it out. He assured us that after the first few nights, the baby would learn to eat more during the evening hours and thus it won't affect his growth etc. but honestly, I'm not sure I can do the cry it out thing. I tried it with my daughter who will be 13 years old next month and I still remember it as one of the worst parenting experiences. Of course I know parents who swear that it worked for their family so maybe it is just me. I guess my two cents would be to try getting him used to the crib first - let him lay in there when he is relaxed and happy for a short period of time, then see if he'll nap in there during the day and then work on getting him to fall asleep in there at bedtime. I kind of suspect that my son wakes up so frequently from 1am-6am because he smells the milk right there. Maybe if your son is doing the same thing then if you can get him in the crib, he might not wake up so frequently. Well we can hope, right? Good luck. I'm going to be watching to see what other suggestions you get. I hope there is some good advise out there.