potty training is hard

Amanda - posted on 01/19/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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hi i am a first time mom and i have a 19 month old daughter i want to potty train but she dont get it yet and i dont know how to do this she keeps getting sever diaper rashes and i have to keep calling the dr to get something for them i dont know why she is getting them i change her more then anyone else i know changes there kids how do i start potty training her i sit her on the potty and sometimes she goes but she mostly just sits there and plays then wheni put her diaper back on she goes potty why and how do i get her to understand the potty...

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Alexandra - posted on 02/20/2010

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I was pretty lucky - at around 18 months, my daughter announced to me one day "Poop." So I put her on the potty and she went. She's about 21 months now and she's basically potty training herself. She either says "poop" or just takes her diaper off (and then we have to run!) but still has a lot of accidents. But I realize I did the same thing someone else talked about: I always made a big deal when I had to use the bathroom and let her come in. Now when I use the bathroom she comes in and claps for me when I'm done (which is what I do for her :) My advice is to wait until your child shows an interest.

Rachel - posted on 02/20/2010

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It may be that she isnt quite ready yet. I tried the same with my boy/girl twins about a month ago (they are almost 21 months old) but my daughter got overly obsessed with her potty and I decided to put them away for a bit and try again at a later date. My son wasnt interested. As for the nappy rash, try Sudocrem if you can get it. It is brilliant. Also, it may be her diet that is causing the nappy rash. Does she drink fresh orange juice or eat a lot of fruit? My daughter got bad nappy rash once and I cut out her daily fresh orange juice and it went away (I´ve since re-introduced it and had no problem). Also, when my LOs were around 19 months, they went through a bad nappy rash phase. I think teething was partly to blame. Good luck!

Rachael - posted on 02/19/2010

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Try reading, "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day" Great book, & it works!

Fay - posted on 02/19/2010

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I had the same issue with my three year old. I found it coincided with teething. It was very frustrating; no diaper rash in the morning, by lunch a rash so bad it had open sores. I found the BEST solution was a combonation of vaseline and cornstarch. Cornstarch to prevent, vaseline when the rash actually breaks out.
With the same child, I only JUST finished potty training...and I tried EVERYTHING. I totally agree with Elisa, every child is different and you have to wait until your child is ready. It became a power struggle btwn me and my child, she only gave up when I stopped insisting she use the potty. I felt like a failure b/c she was the oldest child I knew who still used diapers. I realized it's not about me! Her potty training was not a trophy for me to show off.

Amy - posted on 02/16/2010

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I'm making progress with my daughter by making a big deal out of it when i have to go... I'll stop what I'm doing and tell her very enthusiastically "Momma's gotta go peepee potty!!!" and run for the bathroom...lol. I know it sounds dumb but now she'll stop and yell "PEEPEE POTTY MOMMA!!!" and dart for the bathroom, then when she goes we have to sing the peepee in the potty song and dance (from Nanny 911) ...Also pull ups are evil!! lol, go to Target and buy the lil panties that are like cloth diapers so they'll absorb some of the mess when they have an accident. They'll realize that havin pee all on their legs is gross and want more to run for the potty :) hope that helps a little bit :)

[deleted account]

What we did with both our girls about that age was just to put underwear right on them. After the first couple of pair of wet pants they figured out they didn't like that.... Then we just spent basically 3 full days of every 20 minutes or so taking them to the bathroom.
It's a tough 3 days but if you both can stick with it, it's SO worth it!
Because of their tiny bladders, we didn't give them anything to drink within an hour of bedtime and then put pull ups on them. (we called them night time underwear) and within a month or so they were dry every night. Good luck. Potty training can be a little stressful, but it is SO worth it! (Both my girls were completely potty trained by 20 months even at night)

Tracey - posted on 02/14/2010

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Hi, Children learn at their own pace, girls learn earlier then boys as a rule. Both my daughters were/are very scared of the Potty. My oldest started training my oldest (concentrated training) at 2 years and she was completely trained 2 months later no more nappies. we did preperation where during the day she would wear nickers and if she had to go we would try and make it to the garden. this gives them the sence of going and when they need to go. this also helps with nappy rash because it airs it all out. Sometimes when they are teething they can get rashes. specially the eye teeth.

Nicole - posted on 02/14/2010

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Potty training is really rough. I started my daughter at that age and she didn't actually get it until she was 2 1/2. What really worked for us was setting the kitchen timer for every 15 minutes, having a sticker chart, and wearing "big girl" underwear when we were at home at I was willing to do a bunch of wash that day. Don't give up! She's young still and she'll get it!

Jennifer - posted on 02/13/2010

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I wouldn't personally try to potty train a child under 24 months, sometimes rushing her and you can be more frustrating than anything. She will let you know when she is ready.

Evie - posted on 02/13/2010

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amanda I too have a 21 month old that had diaper rash problems, i found out that she was allergic to certain babywipes and cheap diapers, I am also potty training my daughter I started by buying her own lil potty then my mom (an outside party) put her on the "big girl potty" and made a BIGGGGG DEAL when she went and since then she watns to go on the big girl potty! hope it helps

Melody - posted on 02/11/2010

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Put her in underware and take her every 30 minutes, set a timer to remind you so your consistent, also dont use pull ups they are too much like diapers, but if you use "big girl" underware she will not like to feel the pee on her when she potty's her self. This worked for my daughter. You can use pull ups at night and set a alarm and get her up twice a night and set her on the potty, this too I did with my daughter, she was potty trained in two weeks. Consistentsy is the key.

Derrica - posted on 02/11/2010

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my son has been potty trained for about 3 months now. i started when he starting walking and could go sit on the pot without any help. everytime someone in the house went, they took him too so he could see what was going on. and when i was ready to really start trying i would give him extra milk, juice or water so he would go sooner and would take him every 10 mins for about an hour at a time until he went and when he did we made a huge deal about it then he was excited to go and now goes on his own

Laura - posted on 02/10/2010

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Every child is different. What works for some won't necessarily work for others. My sister in law would sit her children (from about the age of one) on the potty in their highchair while they were eating. This method helped potty train all her kids very quickly. If they didn't do "something" while they were eating she would give them a book to look at or toys to play with and let them sit a little longer. It worked very effectively for them. I tried it with my kids but it didn't always work, often they would still wait until they had a nappy on and then go.
What worked very well and quickly (within days) for me with my oldest child was -for the first day I put a potty on the floor in the lounge and let him run around bare bottom, then when he needed to go he would rush to the potty. Next couple of days I put just undies on him and kept the potty in the same spot. And then after that he went straight to the toilet. With this method you do need to keep a close eye on them and be prepared for accidents. Reward her when she gets it right, but don't punish accidents because this can make the child feel pressured and have the opposite effect than what you are aiming for. You need to find a way to make the experience fun for her (maybe making up a funny song about putting poos and wees in the potty while she sits because she is quite young). Remember too that most childrem aren't ready to potty train until about 3 years old, but if you have the time and are willing to be very patient and put in the effort you can achieve it at a younger age.
Goodluck! :)

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2010

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God bless u i was very disappointed as my son is 20 months old and he didn`t yet used to the potty and here in Egypt it`s very cold now sure not as europ but we havent` isolated homes as the majority of the year is very hot, so my son well be 2 years when he stell used the diappers and i thaught it isn`t good at all but maybe he well show more attention at summer. but it`s so hard for me, because i don`t wanna to punish or cry if he did it on the floor or so.

Kim - posted on 01/24/2010

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Amanda, I used to work at a daycare, and a lot of the parents said it was harder to potty train girls that it was boys. And most of the children at the daycare were not potty trained until they were in the 2 yr. old room.. It takes time and patience. I have thought about trying to potty train my little boy, but he just doesn't seem to understand yet. I would think it would be easier when he can say peepee or potty, then he can tell me if he needs to go. My son repeats when he wants something, I ask if he wants num-num (his food) and he will say num num. I ask him if he wants to go nite-nite, and if he does he will repeat and head that way.I also take my son to the bathroom with me all the time, because I am a single mom, and I tell him come with mommy I need to go potty. This way he will start to understand it, but he just isn't ready yet.. I would suggest to try again in a couple of months.

Petra - posted on 01/23/2010

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Hi! my daughter was 2.5 to the day when she became toilet trained. never sat on the potty, straight to the loo and no accidents. before 2.5 showed no interest at all to do it elsewhere other than her nappy. nightime was very frustraiting, she just become recently at 3.5 (again to the date) when she woke up finally and did it in the loo at night too. i was getting worried, because she just did not seem to feel it at night and wet the bed if she did not have the nappy on. my son is 20 mnth. he knows when he wants to do wee or poo and and if he does not have the nappy on he asks for the toilet. i would sit him on it and few minutes later he wants to come off without doing anything and with an angelic smile he would do his job on the carpet right in front of the loo...it will b hard work what i'm facing with him i know already lol...

Lina - posted on 01/21/2010

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well, we are lucky with a very capable child on the whole. and being 19 months she got the point of the potty in a period of... one evening. despite, the child is capable, we did something to. i can share.

the first evening we started potty training, I put her on a potty after her dinner. and, it's a miracle, she did it... me and her father did our best to SHOW OUR HAPPINESS (applause, good words, kisses, hugs, nice and proud intonation, you can use whatever is best to your child - even a small present, such as a sweety or a story reading after etc.). despite that, it was aprox. 6 missed "susu" the same evening. first days we LET HER WALK WITHOUT HER PANTS/UNDERWEAR/DIAPER, just in her t-shirt and slippers. during the first evening I had to clean six times after she did on the flour/carpet. when this happened we just said, "mommy and dady do not do su-su here, we do su-su in the WC. do it on your potty." just BE PATIENT and do not feel or (even more important) show any bad feelings when your child does something wrong.

The next day she missed for two times, but just because we had guests and she was excited. Now I cannot remember the time she did susu or kaka not on her potty, and... we do not have 20 days from the first day we tried potty training. I do not count night and day sleep. she still gets diper for her nap at day time and for her night sleep. in the very begining I used dipers when out of home, but it is more than a week I find them dry after we come home from the walk or lessons.

MOST IMPORTANT:

- if you do everythinng we did, but the child does not get the point, wait for a month or two, maybe she is not ready.

- do not use pressure.

- be patient.

- believe in your child.

sorry, English is not my native language and was not my first foreign language at school. even if I did some mistakes, hope you will get the point.

good luck.

Phi - posted on 01/21/2010

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I agree with elisa lets focus on the reashes, they might not be rashes at all it might be eczema or some other allergy type of skin condition. Many doctors for some reason dont even look for this, i had it my whole life and my daughters pediatrician diagnossed it in me. no perfume and swich her to an eczema rash cream and unscented powder, whildren tis age usually dont get diaper rashes. she might also bbe alergic to the dipers. have you tried diferant brands>? dipers are one of those things you have got to spend money on or switch to cloth diapers which by the way will help the potty training to go faster.

[deleted account]

each child is different. some children are not potty trained until 3 yrs old, some parents are lucky like above and are done before 2. bottom line, at least i learned, you cant force it on the kid. they are ready when they are ready, period. if your child has zero interest in it, then maybe she is just not there yet. i am just now finishing potty training with my 2 1/2 year old daughter and my 20 month old has no interest yet. of more concern, however, would be why she is getting the diaper rashes. perhaps you should take her in for some allergy tests. she may be allergic to wipes or diapers themselves. you may want to look on the market for allergin free products to see if that makes a difference. good luck!

Samantha - posted on 01/19/2010

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My little boy is 20m now but i started training his at around 16 m and he wouldnt get it until we started taking him to the bathroom with me or my husband and say "look we do it too" and "just like Daddy, your such a big boy!" and that really got him going, if your uncomfortable doing this than don't but it made my boy get the idea of what's going on. I like to put a little baby powder on his bum every time i put a new pull ups on him and it keeps the rashes at bay.

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2010

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I got "The No-Cry Potty Training Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, it is a great book. It addresses pretty much every problem you could run into. I highly recommend that you get it.

Vanessa - posted on 01/19/2010

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try sudo cream for the rash its at k mart and stuff but try potty training her next summer when she is too my son is the same age and thats the advice that made sense to me most even the pre school agreed

Varsha - posted on 01/19/2010

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Hi Amanda! potty training can be started anytime from the time a baby has learned to sit confidently. my older one was done @ 18 months and younger one has started mastering it now being 18 months. you may have to time it - start it in the morning by giving her a cup of water and making her sit on potty, then every 35-40 mins. bring the potty near her and use some poo poo words like "pupu" "susu" " kaka" etc.to ask her if she wants to do it. If she has done it, the chance is gone so wait for another chance. Remember, whenever something is fed to them, the bowel movement is triggered, so if you have fed her anything liquid, within 2-3 minutes, make her sit. However, at times, after 35-40mins. also she may not do as she may be dehydrated playing, etc. so give her half a cup & make her sit. keep the potty around her. The idea is to pass the message. Slowly, you will notice that the diapers are dry after sleep (morning/afternoon/night) and the diaper habit is gone. It requires little patience in the beginning till the idea is conveyed then life becomes easy.. good luck!

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