Still not sleeping through the night...

Jaclyn - posted on 06/16/2009

I wrote a reply at the end of January when bubs was 8months old, saying that he wasn't sleeping through the night...



Guess what???



He's still not. On a good night he wakes every 2 hours. He started taking milk from a sippy cup a couple of months ago, but not very much. He still has breastfeeds through the night. I'm trying to wean him during the day as a start.



I'm desperate and exhausted and will have to buy a book I think. I can't function through the day.

My 3 year old slept through since he was 5 weeks old, how lucky was I - well payback's a bitch - Life comes back to get ya. LOL.

I have a similar problem to some above, where my Rhys (now 1year 2 weeks) will self settle to sleep for his 2, 1hr day naps and his first night sleep, but wakes crying through the night and will only sleep being fed to sleep. If I let him cry it out, he will eventually go to sleep, but start crying 20minutes later. It's a long night for me and very distressing for Rhys.

When he cries the whole night - he wakes my 3yo... It's a conundrum...



What to do? What to do?

Saying 'it'll pass' is easy to say, but when you try to convince yourself of that every, exhausting night - It's a bit tiring and you cease to believe it.

Don't get me wrong - I don't get upset with Rhys or take it out on Rhys, I just nurse him and love him and stroke his head enjoying the extra time I get with him and stagger back to bed to a snoring husband.

I'm lucky in that my fantastic hubby gives me a sleep-in of a weekend and looks after both kids until I'm ready to get up.



I appreciate everyone's advice and stories - they are fun to read and keep up with...

Pam - posted on 02/12/2009

Good for you!!

Cindy - posted on 02/01/2009

Although it will be hard let her cry it out.  We did it.  It took 3 weeks, but he sleeping through the night.  She knows you will come that is why she sounds like someone is harming her.  Good luck.

Ashley - posted on 01/31/2009

My 8month old lil girl still wakes up too. i got to the point i let her cry, as horrible as it sounds I shut her door, our bedroom door, and wear earplugs. I can still here her but not nearly as loud as before and when she stops crying I get up and check on her. its worked pretty well so far, she's learning to self soothe and find her paci in her crib!

Holli - posted on 01/31/2009

My little guy is 8 month sold and he still wake sup at least 1x a night to breastfeed. I am getting a bit tired of it and I think it's time that I start letting him cry it out for a few min; like 3-5 to see if he will go bak to sleep.

Kara - posted on 01/31/2009

I suggest reading "On Becoming Baby Wise"  It is an awesome book that will help guide you though different solutions you may be having with your baby.

Corinn - posted on 01/30/2009

I wish I had the magic solution for you - And for me, as we are the same situation! Unfortunately, I don't have any fool-proof piece of advice to share, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I feel your pain!

My baby boy, who is 8 months old now, is *still* waking up during the night. Sometimes SEVERAL times a night. If I'm lucky, he'll only wake up once or twice - But lately, he's been having several wakings more often than not.

I believe teething is playing a big factor in his sleep disturbances. Well, it's not helping anything, that is - He's never been a "great sleeper" (Like my daughter, who slept 12 hours straight from the age of 4 months and on!).

To complicate matters further, he's also going through a nursing strike accompanied with biting (Me, that is!). The nursing strike seems to be passing but the sleep disturbances aren't.

Like you, I won't let my baby cry it out. Oddly, he goes down just fine at the beginning of the night but won't "self-soothe" when he wakes up later. Not sure why, as he doesn't even want to nurse during every waking.

Again, no advice (Sorry!). But I can tell you that "This too shall pass" - At least that's what I find myself muttering to myself several times in the wee hours of morning.

Jenn - posted on 01/30/2009

Quoting Danielle:

Thanks, what is the name of the book?

Hi, I think it is healthy sleep happy baby or something like that. Any good book store should be able to send you in the right direction! Good luck! I'm not going to tell you how my daughter has slept..don't want any haters lol!

Kara - posted on 01/30/2009

My first daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was over a year old! I was finally told by a friend of mine to read "Baby Wise." It's an awesome book and really helps to figure out what may be wrong and what to do to help get your child to sleep through the night. I was getting up all the time and remembered the book and read it last weekend, ever since, my 8 month old is FINALLY sleeping through the night!!! The first 2 nights are a little difficult, but after that it's a piece of cake!

Danielle - posted on 01/30/2009

I'm going to go get the "no cry" book and give it shot. I made the mistake with my son, who is now 4 1/2, to let him sleep in our bed so he would sleep through the night, and guess where he is still sleeping, yep in our bed!! Any suggestions, those of you with older children, how to get him to stay in his own bed?

Pam - posted on 01/30/2009

Its very tough to say what is right and what is wrong. All i know is what worked for me and my baby. I started following a routine with her naps and feeding at 2 months and she has really adapted well to that. I feel that babies only know what you teach them or what routine you allow them to fall into. Once babies double their weight they do not need a bottle in the middle of the night. If you have continued to give them one then their bodies are trained to wake up for a bottle every night. If you rock them to sleep everytime they wake up then everytime they wake up they are going to look for you to come in and rock them. It is a very easy problem to fix but you have to be persistant with it. They will cry and cry but will eventually learn to self soothe. I do feel for moms who have 2 kids and dont want to wake the one sleeping. In that case i guess you have to choose your battle. In the long run it might be worth a try to give it a shot. Just trying to help!

Linda - posted on 01/27/2009

thanks for the suggestion - but i don't think i need to go out and get a whole book just for his once in a while fit while he sleeps :) as i said, children grow, children change - much faster than we can probably remember that we did the same thing! last night was rough, but he'll bounce back - like he always does :)

Donna - posted on 01/27/2009

Kaleb is technically sleeping throught the night, but not at the same time. My guy goes to bed at 11pm, wakes at 4am and then at 9am for the day. Soo that is two 5 hours stretches, I count myself lucky. I agree, they do say that 5 hours is sleeping through the night, those who came up with that law must not have infants lol Sorry to hear your not getting those long stretches of sleep!

Jaclyn - posted on 01/27/2009

Oh, I forgot to mention, that Rhys is in his own bed now and NO GUESTS will upset that, they can sleep in the office...

Jaclyn - posted on 01/27/2009

My little Rhys isn't sleeping through the night -

waking more than once through the night...

It all started when he was sick at a week old and I worried about his breathing, so he slept in my room. However, he was permanently attached to me, I couldn't put him down for a sleep.

I left him for 45mins, crying, but he was stubborn - I felt so bad, but I didn't know what else to do, I needed sleep for myself.

At 3 months it changed, I could put him down for a sleep, but he would only sleep for between 40 minutes and 1 1/2 hours at a time.

Now at 8 months, he's still being breastfed and won't take more than about 20ml from a bottle (if we're lucky) (but that's another conversation),

on a good night he'll sleep 4 hours at a time, on an average night he'll wake every 2 hours. He doesn't scream, just makes waking noises, then grizzles for a feed. When he wakes in the morning ready for the day, he chats for a few minutes waiting for mummy to get him up.

I'm exhausted - what's more - my husband is away for 3 months and my eldest (2 yrs 9mths) has slept through the night 10 - 12 hours from 6 weeks old, now that daddy's not here he wakes for a cuddle an hour after he goes to bed, but then he's fine for the night. He never cried either, just chatted until I got him up. He's now sleeptalking too.

The kids are happy enough during the day which is good.

Jac from South Australia

Pamela - posted on 01/27/2009

It's good to know that there are more of us out there with kids not sleeping through the night.  Mine is 8 months old and still gets up A LOT.  Part separation anxiety, part teething and part wanting a bottle.  When she wakes, 99% of the time she goes right back to bed, but she still gets up once for a bottle.  My other daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 9 months old, so maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  

I'm tired of hearing people say that you need to let them self-soothe, but my only issue with that is that she doesn't ever give up.  She never puts herself to sleep and then she wake up my other daughter who is 3 and she won't go back to bed.  So here lies my predicament:  Do I spend countless nights trying to get her to self-soothe, wake up my other little one, and spend countless days living of energy drinks and coffee just to stay awake and TRY to the best of my ability not to be the biggest crab known to man or do I meet her needs, get the most sleep I can and PRAY that she will sleep soon? 

Yvonne - posted on 01/27/2009

"The No Cry, Sleep Solution" .

Linda - posted on 01/27/2009

here's something funny - it is 5:35a, i've been up since 4:20a with a child who just won't sleep. was he always this way? no actually. he can sleep thru the night - he did it once for an entire week, but then slowly has gotten worse and worse. now he wakes up several times a night and usually takes a pacifier to go back to sleep, and fairly quickly. right now tho, he's screaming bloody murder - i've had to send my husband out of the room just so he can get some sleep for work tomorrow, and i'm up now too. we are being held hostage by a tiny little terrorist. but as all children do, it gets better, then it becomes the pits, then he's great again. they all grow and go thru little phases. he'll grow out of the this, be awesome, then turn into a little terrorist again. that's just the way it goes.

Tessie - posted on 01/27/2009

May i suggest a very helpful book. I'm actually reading it right now. "The No Cry, Sleep Solution" . Man we learned that we were doing so much wrong....we've put alot of it into practice and are def seeing results. :) Try it.....can't hurt.

Whitney - posted on 01/27/2009

I so agree. Since the day Myli was born we've ALWAYS had her put herself to sleep. I will rock her when I know she's not feeling well and for the most part even then, she will wake up but that's a rarity. I think self-soothing is vital. I don't do the "shhh...the baby is sleeping" either. The day she came home, we had the TV on, the dishwasher going, the laundry going, and the vaccum cleaner going. She slept right through all of it. Now, b/c of that she can sleep through a movie with the surround sound on. The only thing about her sleeping patterns is she wants to be in HER bed at HER bedtime. We can't go to dinner, friends, families, nothing. She starts to fuss and the night is ruined. Any ideas on that?

Pam - posted on 01/27/2009

My daughter is 8 months old. She is my first child so i dont have much to go on. I swear by the book "The Baby Whisperer"by tracey Hogg. Alex has been sleeping through night since she was 3 months. Of course there are nights that she wakes up here and there(teething) but for the most part is an angel. I believe the biggest thing is getting them to go back to sleep on their own so when they do wake up they dont freak out. This means putting them in their crib awake so they can learn to fall asleep on their own and not rocking them when they wake up. Try rubbing or pattin their back. You want them to know your there but not expect to get rocked everytime they cry. It is hard to do but fixable at any age if this is the problem. How this will help. If your have any questions about the book feel free to ask!

Whitney - posted on 01/26/2009

All babies are different. Some don't sleep all the way thought the night til their over a year (not trying to jinx anyone) but if it's your child it's your child. I wouldn't worry about it yet. I think the most important thing is to establish a routine. One you can stick to nightly. Mine gets fed about 6, bath around 7, and bed around 8. But we have a big mirror, and she gets to say "night night" to the baby. Her father and I both give her nightly kisses, and hugs, and she lays down with her mobile music box going, and a bear in her arms. The bear is critical. You have to find whats right for your child. Patience is what it takes!

Megan - posted on 01/26/2009

my son is 8 months and he has never slept more than 4 hours at a strech he wakes hungry i give him a bottle and he goes out reading what you all have written does anyone think there is something wrong?

Whitney - posted on 01/26/2009

Have you tried a warm bath with some night time lotion. A good bowl of cereal and some warm milk? I did this with my daughter when she was about 6 weeks and she's been sleeping through the night ever since

Dawn - posted on 01/26/2009

Same here...teething and crawling attempts mean my daughter wakes several times a night and expects to be fed. Was up with her for 1.5 hours at 4 am on Saturday trying to get ther to just take a bit of water and settle down without BF, but she screamed like she was dying and crying it out only makes her scream harder. Guess we'll just have to weather it. Last night was a bit better...last month she slept two nights waking only once at the 6 hour mark and then sleeping another 5 hours, so I'm just hopeful eventually it will be like that! Good luck!

Danielle - posted on 01/26/2009

Thanks, what is the name of the book?

Yvonne - posted on 01/26/2009

Josh isn't sleeping through either.. my first son Oliver slept a treat from 11 weeks so it's such a shock to the system having to get up still !!

I do think with Joshy it's a habit though, and I'm so sick of people telling me to "feed him up" during the day... if he won't eat anymore and won't take anymore milk then what can you do? everyone seems to know best hey !!

I've brought a book about teaching baby to sleep with out letting him "cry it out" so I'll let you all know how it goes.

Barbara - posted on 01/25/2009

I think teething is a big cause and from what I've read and noticed, the beginnings of separation anxiety might play into it.  Any developmental milestone they are approaching--ie crawling, etc--seems to trigger sleep disturbances too so once a night sounds amazing.  Last tidbit I've read is that sleeping through the night in infants is generally considered 5 hours at a stretch, not the whole night.

Melissa - posted on 01/25/2009

Mine still isn't sleeping through the night either.  My pediatrician said that if the baby wakes screaming, he/she can be having night terrors. This happened a few times to my son, but now he's teething badly so I am pretty sure he can't sleep through the night because of pain in his gums.

Melissa - posted on 01/25/2009

Mine still isn't sleeping through the night either.  My pediatrician said that if the baby wakes screaming, he/she can be having night terrors. This happened a few times to my son, but now he's teething badly so I am pretty sure he can't sleep through the night because of pain in his gums.

Robin - posted on 01/25/2009

my 8 month old only slept though the night for about 1 month in november (such a treat) . . . now, not so much. 

if he goes down around 830-930 he wakes up like its play time around 11 and STAYS AWAKE !

if he goes down aroun 10 he will sleep until 1240am-1am to the DOT !

either i pat his back and rub the side of his head to relax him or i give him a mini soother-bottle to knaw on.  it holds 2 tsp and knocks him right out.

wakes up again at 3, then 4 and 7. ! its awful

i was talking to a nurse at the health center and she said that if a baby is rocked to sleep with a bottle then when they wake up in the middle of the night, they feel they need the sucking to go back to sleep.  however my boy will not take a soother, never has.

you arent alone.  some babies are subborn ! my gf lil boy has been sleeping though the night since 1.5 months ! lucky ! !

mini botttles do the trick,   they are actually medicine despencers.  work wonders !

Sheeina - posted on 01/25/2009

my little boy is 7 months and is still waking for a feed in night driving me mad but now i do what he wants im feed up with fighting him.