tantrums

Hilda - posted on 12/01/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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how can i get my sons tantrums under controll let him know how to behave instead of just throwning tantrums when ever he wants something?!?!

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Charlotte - posted on 12/24/2009

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I've heard distraction works best. Exchanging what they have for something else. If that doesn't work..I just ignore the tantrum. I feel if my son gets attention for having the tantrum..he'll learn he can throw a tantrum to get attention. I make sure he is in a safe place and let him be upset. I figure I'm 23 years old and I have my breakdowns..heck..everybody has a break down every once in a while. I think just teaching my son to have the tantrum in an appropriate setting is the best I can do. For example, if we're in a public place, go somewhere more private..preferably the car and sit there until he's done, or just go home.

Sarah - posted on 12/22/2009

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My 19 month old is also very prone to tantrums. They started shortly after she turned 1. When she starts to throw a tantrum, we just ignore them. They usually stop within 2 minutes & she resumes whatever she was doing before throwing a tantrum. My husband & I also try to get down on her level and talk to her in a calm voice to calm her down. Pick a method and stick to it and make sure anybody else who watches your son uses the same method as you do.

Rachel - posted on 12/15/2009

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My son is very tantrum-prone and it is very unpleasant for all of us! I also walk away but he throws himself around and inevitable ends up hurting himself even if he is in a safe place. After a few minutes he has either calmed down or I pick him up and he stops. I redirect and off we go back to playing. Find a method that works for you and stick to it and also make everyone else do the same. My mother-in-law visits us a lot and it´s so hard to get her to do what I do as she wants to cuddle him which just makes it all so much worse!

Michelle - posted on 12/14/2009

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When the tantrum first starts I tell him that behavior is unacceptable and he can't scream like that. If he keeps it up, I walk away into a different room so that he can't see me. At first he would stop, come find me, then start again, so I'd leave again. For a few days he would continue doing that, but now he's stopped doing that. He still starts a tantrum every once in a while, but he usually stops when I tell him to now. It's mostly just for the attention. Also, the other thing I do is wait until he's done screaming, and take him into a dimly lit, quiet room. I've found that most of his tantrums are because he's overstimulated, so I take a lot of the stimuli away so that he can have a little bit of a break and chance to cool down. It usually works really, REALLY well.

User - posted on 12/14/2009

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Ignore them...Let them have their fit, and walk away. When they figure out no one is watching they normally stop and search you out. After they are calm, them give them affection. Just don't give in, otherwise it gets worse.

Krisstyn - posted on 12/14/2009

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My daughter has recently just started throwing tantrums and she is 19 mths old. I have no idea where she picked them up from but i have found that like Rebekah if i walk away and pretend to do something else she will give in after about 5 mins and come to see what is so interesting to me. If this doesn't work then she normally gets threatened with going to bed and that calms her almost every time.

Rebekah - posted on 12/01/2009

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Basically, pick a strategy that helps you stay calm, give him a reason to want to stop the tantrum (boredom is a great motivator!), and stick with it consistently.

I have always told my son "That's fine, you can throw a tantrum over there. Alone" and walked a short (safe) distance away and taken deep calming breaths while pretending to pay attention to something else. He was rather put out about it, but now doesn't do it much.

I also used a playpen intially for time outs (30 sec to 1 minute max) and would give him the correction ie "hands off" before putting him in, go get a drink of water (within visual range, but not interacting with him), return and ask him if he was ready. Then its a kiss and the direction again and we are off to play. Now I just set him in a chair and do the same. He usually stays put and quiets down quickly. He gets the same discipline at daycare, so that helps. I came in to find him in timeout for driving a large truck into the family dog (again!) recently.

I have also put toys into timeouts for being "too frustrating" to either him or myself if he can't use them safely. They are in clear view, but unreachable for a short time, then returned. They are given a longer time the 2nd time and disappear altogether for the rest of the day if a meltdown occurs a third time. Now I just only have to take them away the first time usually to give him the idea.

Odette Marie - posted on 12/01/2009

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its just normal for a kid to have tantrums, just find a way to entertain them, let them watch their favorite movie, give them some cookies, etc. what do you know, it might work for them. just like my baby, whenever he had tantrums, i just let him watch his favorite movie, finding nemo and them, i often find him sound asleep.

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