17 month old temper tantrums

Nicole - posted on 10/21/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I don't know if my daughter is asserting her independence or starting to have mini tantrums but for the last month changing her diaper and getting her dressed as been awful...sometimes we have to hold her down screaming to change her diaper. I have been letting her walk around naked and sometimes if she is busy watching TV I can quickly change her. I have tried singing, distraction, giving her things (books, toys, etc) to help. Is this normal? My daycare provider says she doesn't see this behavior there. She also isn't sitting in her highchair anymore at the daycare to eat...would prefer to walk around and snack all day and the daycare woman isn't allowing that ( which I agree with to an extent) but my daughter is starving when she gets home...isn't learning natural consequences there yet. Any ideas??? Thanks ladies!
Nicole

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Jennifer - posted on 11/20/2010

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Sounds like it's all normal to me. My son has started the tantrums around 12-13 months old. He is 18 months this Nov 28th. Pretty much after he started walking very well is when it really started. From what I understand it's mostly the challenges that frustrate them and they have no other way to express it. And is also a big part of testing thier boundries. There are times when my son "knows" he can't do something and will stare at me the whole time he is going to do it to see what my reaction is. They are smarter than we really know, that's for sure. LOL. I basically try to let my son have his fit as long as he is not in harms way. But I always try to talk to him at his level first which sometimes works. Diaper changing is 50-70% of the time a struggle but I just get it done and let him know that it is not acceptable. I have also told him that maybe he needs to lay down for a little while and he will agree with me and 5-20 minutes later he lets me know he is ready to come out. I never use the crib as a time out punishment. I always ask first if he needs to lay down. If I use a time out its usually his chair. Overall he is still pretty good compared to some of the stories I have heard from other Moms and girls are almost always more difficult. Good luck everyone. But try to savor these moments because they will be gone in the blink of an eye and before we know it they are teens/adults...Yikes! I can wait..lol.

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Margaret - posted on 11/29/2010

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Yes, this is very normal nicle, i think, cause i go though the same with my son. I get so discouraged sometimes, when he is angry he bangs his head on anything, it is very heartbreaking cause if you are not near, he will hurt himself.

Mehnaz - posted on 11/06/2010

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Have been going through terrible bouts of temper tantrums during the past couple of weeks with my girl who's gonna be 18m on the 8th. and this is mostly when we step outside.

she was always a good girl when we took her out and often had people telling us how well behaved she was. But it has all turned around. She gets fidgety when she sits on the car seat or push chair for long. Trips to the supermarket have become nightmares. She starts screaming for everything recognisable. Sweets, crisps, cheese, milk. and anything else she can lay her hands on. I'd also like to ask if any of you open stuff from inside the supermarket before you pay for it? I did it once with her juice because it was an emergency but I dont want her to get the idea that she can have anything she wants inside a supermarket.

Please advise !!!!

Isaac - posted on 11/06/2010

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My son who will be 18 months on the 11th has been doing this for about a month or two now and something that has really worked is designating a place where he goes and sits alone if he starts to throw and unneccesary tantrum. I use the couch in the den, I simply tell him he doesnt need to be screaming and he can come out when he is finished...he is done within 5 minutes everytime and is more likely to show me what he wants instead of whining...and something my gma told me that is so true...if you control her eating environment she will respect you more in almost every aspect of life...my son knows that he has to eat what i give him, in the highchair...and ever since I have started that he has all around not faught as much good luck :)

Mary - posted on 11/05/2010

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oh i thought i was alone my daughter is 17 months 5 weeks and she has been doing the same, changing her is a problem and she prefer feeding while walking everywhere and when i stop her she even bangs her head and this scares me, sorry i cant help coz i also need a solution to this

Kyra - posted on 11/04/2010

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my son just recently started through temper tantrums also yes it is just a phase according to almost every doctor i've had to take him too as the first time he did it he lost his voice (peace and quiet for a few days was great), what i do is when he starts screaming and stomping around i ignore it until i cant anymore then just do it back, scream and start stomping around and making it into a game, after awhile he stopped and instead when something frustrates him he just does his *dino stomp* which involves roaring and stomping around until he calms down it worked really well, he isnt in day care though. maybe it has something to do with having other children around that makes her not want to throw a tantrum, and with the high chair she doesnt have too sit in it but if she is starving then it might be time for some harsh punishment and if she doesnt go in the high chair for a meal then she goes to the corner or on a naughty mat. hope this helps.

Kim - posted on 11/04/2010

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My son started this very early because he would get frustrated when he could not figure something out or could not do something. I started saying to him "excuse me, what do you say". At first I had to prompt him but now when I say that he changes his tone completely and says "mama" and stops crying. I then ask him what he wants. He is 18 months old so sometimes it takes me a little while to figure it out but I usually do. I have also put him in his crib telling him since he is so cranky maybe he needs a nap and to call me when he pulls himself together. Usually takes 5 minutes and he calls "mama" in a very sweet voice. So far it has not caused any problems at bedtime. I am a single mom so I can't let him have his way and there is nobody to back me up. It sure is tough some days.

Carina - posted on 11/03/2010

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Just ignore her tantrums. My son is the same way, but we (my husband and I) don't let him get it his way, never. They won't remember these things when they are older so now it is the time to teach them to obey.

Febriani - posted on 11/03/2010

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my 18 months son is also quick in showing tantrums. I've tried every way to handle it. But none worked. So i tried to do a different strategy. Every time he got upset, I go down to his level, I told him that his behavior is not acceptable (with extremely calm voice & tone), and then I picked him off from the floor, and swing him until he laughs.. he stopped whining and we can continue our previous activities like nothing has happened..

Tiffany - posted on 11/02/2010

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changing my daughters diaper has been a challenge for a few months now. she is 18 months now and has been going through this temper tantrum stage since 14 months. there's even been a few times where she's gotten so mad that she's slapped me! she loves to escape from her table everytime she eats. she's usuallya great eater but not when she knows she can escape! on top of fighting w/ her i have a 4 month old son too, i always look at him and tell him he better not act like this when he gets to be her age!! lol i do have to admit she definitely makes me laugh alot though!

Jacqueline - posted on 11/02/2010

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My son will be 18 months on nov11th and he has some horrible fits and also dont likke his high chair. ive been fighitng it all like crazy! im at the smae point you are except my son is will me 24/7. im a single mom and have to take it all in on my own

Kirsty - posted on 10/25/2010

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It sounds like your doing everything right, your daughter is just seeing where the boundaries are just keep strong and dont let her get away with once coz she will remember if she pushes it that little bit more she will get her way. Its hard work but you will get through it. My little boy has a tendancy to throw himself on the floor or lean against the wall with his head in his hands pretendin to cry! Kids are great at making you feel guilty, I wouldnt worry about the snackin toddlers are known for bein picky eaters. Good luck and enjoy your little girl b4 she grows up 2 quick.

Kandice - posted on 10/24/2010

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Perfectly natural. We always hear about "terrible twos" but its really "terrible toddlers." LOL They are learning so quickly, testing their boundaries, and asserting their independence. You have to let her know that you mean business. If you allow the behavior, it only gets worse. I have three girls (7, 5, & 17 mos) & they've all pushed buttons until they've found the ones that work and don't. Do you have a playpen/travel yard or other area that is safe to leave her in and walk into another room? Our pediatrician suggested giving her a two minute time out. She will learn that her behavior only gets her time away from toys & people, not the attention she is seeking. (just make sure you don't use her bed because that will make bedtime seem like a punishment) We even bought a special chair for her "thinking spot." If I see a meltdown or undesired behavior coming on, I point to the chair and remind her that she is welcome to go sit down and think. You may not believe an almost two year old understands, but they do. I have a background in early childhood ed & it is AMAZING what kids can learn when we give them the chance. :)

Kathy - posted on 10/23/2010

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Ugh! My daughter has just recently started this, too. She's always been a squirmer and hates to have her diaper changed- she will NOT lay on her changing table anymore, so I do it all on the floor. She loves to help with other things, so I'll ask her "show mama how you put your diapie on" and she'll come and squat down over her diaper. I've had to attempt to put it on that way before, but she's starting to lay down when I ask her to, and then I have to put it on real quick before she realizes I tricked her. Not sure how long this is going to work!
My daughter also starts "tantruming" when I take something away from her- usually something that is unsafe... I just let her have it out, and she usually finds something else to distract her in a few minutes.
For the eating thing, I don't have the problem with sitting in her highchair, so I'm not sure what to say about that... It is pretty common for my daughter to throw her food though. When she does, I usually say "Ok, you must be done. We don't throw our food"... and then she's done. Of course, she usually eats pretty good at the next meal, and the dr told me that I shouldn't worry about this much at this age because they slow down in their growth for a bit.
Good luck!!

Melissa - posted on 10/22/2010

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My daughter was a screamer from birth. I just learned to deal with it. I dress her, brush her teeth and feed her when I need to. I ignore the screaming to a point. Now she knows she goes to the corner if she screams too loud. She doesn't have as many tantrums anymore and gets over anger pretty quickly. She'll scream and then move on to something else. I guess the key is not giving in to what they want just because they throw a tantrum. They learn eventually.

Nicole - posted on 10/22/2010

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Congrats Sabrina! Maybe the defiance is normal then...I am just trying to be consistent and hopefully she'll learn soon!

Sabrina - posted on 10/21/2010

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My son is doing the same thing and he will be 18 months on nov 13th but. I make him sit down and eat because iy is healthier for them to know rules now.. I mean if you dont care if she wonders while she eats then thats your rules she will learn to know what she can and cant do its just hard switching from daycare rules and rules a home.. I dont know how to deal with that cause my little one is always at home withme but with the tantrum thing my son has hit terrible toddler years LOL It is not terrible twos it terrible toddlers.. Which is hard cause we are almost positive I am preggo again..

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