20 months old and wont stop crying and whining ALL the time!?

Keisha - posted on 01/31/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter doesnt ever ever stop crying except when shes sleeping. She just forces it out all day... it makes no sense! Ive tried EVERYTHING! She has all the sleep/food/toys/attention she could ever possibly require but is just never satisfied and there is nothing medically wrong. Does anybody else have this problem or even better can anybody tell me how to fix it? its INTENSE... she used to be so content just up until a few months ago...

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Meagan - posted on 02/01/2011

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My son is normally REALLY happy and smiley, but lately he just gets these tantrums and just throws his head back to where I'm always so afraid he's going to crack his skull open and forces a cry like nothing else. A mom knows the fake cry from the other cries and it's always fake and he'll take breaths and just look around and he's perfectly fine, then someone says something and he starts screaming again from the pit of his stomach. When he does that I put him in his crib for time out and sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes it's instant and sometimes it takes 20 minutes(however long it takes him to stop crying). However after he's stopped crying and has a few minutes, he's usually in a much better mood.

Dawn - posted on 02/05/2011

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YES!!!!! What my husband and I have discovered is that this behavior has a lot to do with what she thinks she can get away with with us. She does not behave this way at school with her teachers. So, we have recently implemented time out. She stays in time out for at least 60 seconds. Usually, we tell her she can return to what she was doing when she calms down. There have been days where she goes into hysterics and it's so heart-wrenching. I am glad to know I am not alone. I was so upset one day, I found myself hiding in my bedroom crying like a madwoman.

I think a lot of my daughter's crying is from frustration. They are at an age right now where they are learning to communicate, but we don't always understand what they say. Because they cannot understand reason, there's no way to explain why we can't always do what they want. One thing that has helped my husband and I recently is asking lots of Yes or No questions. She understands those two words perfectly. EX: "Do you want to go outside and play?" "No." "Do you want to eat something?" "No." "Do you want to build with your blocks?" "Yes." Sometimes we have to ask a lot of questions, but eventually we hit on the right thing.

One other suggestion, when she starts whining and/or screaming, we remind her to tell us in words what she needs. "Use your words." We have to repeat it a few times, but she seems to be getting it.

Last, I've been reading up on toddler fears lately, and it turns out, my daughter is terrified of the dark. We spent two full months of her screaming uncontrollably every time we tried to put her to bed. We tried everything we could think of to console her. Finally, I brought in a lamp, and, voila, she's perfectly content to go to bed now. After an hour, I come in and turn off the lamp and turn on the closet light with the door ajar, so, if she wakes up, she won't be afraid.

I hope this helps a little. Just know you are not alone.

Amanda - posted on 02/02/2011

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We get the crying sometimes...it has been more of her doing something naughty and running in her room and slamming the door and laughing....I would try orajel or giving her a cup of water to carry around. I would take a mommy time out if you can and then just work on ignoring it. When she is quiet again give her lots of hugs and attention and maybe the positive reinforcement will help. It could be that she has figured out that she gets all the attention when she is crying and so that is what she is doing.

Lyndsay - posted on 01/31/2011

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My daughter is starting the same kind of behavior, only her's is mostly "NO!" and trying to get her way by whining(constantly)... She has been sick lately, but to be honest, I really think we may be just some of the lucky ones who have started the 'terrible twos' early....
Now- theory 2... my daughter has also started grinding her teeth, so could it be that our daughters have new molars coming in? Sorry, I don't have answers, but wanted you to know you aren't alone!

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Ashley - posted on 08/18/2012

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My 19 month old is cutting her eye teeth but I put orejel on her gums gives her some comfort but then she just starts to s ream and cry for long periods of times, I fryer ignoring it and she just never gives in what do I do?

Schmoopy - posted on 02/12/2011

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Have you taken her to the pediatrician? It could be that she's in some kind of pain.

Birgit - posted on 02/11/2011

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OH YES... Twin #1 is like that all the time - she's just whining and being cranky and since this weeks both of the girls are now teething, to top it all off. I'm about ready to throw the towel. As for the constant crying - hey, it gets her attention and it works, right? Try ignoring it (to an extent, of course!). They are entering the terrible 2's, and they're trying everything! If it's worked once, it's bound to work again, kind of thing.. :) Just hang in there, it won't last forever!

Meagan - posted on 02/01/2011

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Of course sometimes I just put some Orajel on his paci since his K-9s are coming in and with my wisdom teeth coming in, I know how he feels. After that he's perfectly fine too.

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