5 months old and can't self soothe

Shandi - posted on 10/24/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5 months old and can't self soothe herself. It is so bad I have to ride in the back seat with her. How can I teach her to self soothe?

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Jennifer - posted on 10/31/2009

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in regards to the "lovey"...people have told me about that as well but i am worried about safety...."suffucation", etc...Is it safe to put in crib while sleeping???

Linda - posted on 10/28/2009

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I have read an awesome book called "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg and it is the most awesome book. It helps with this problem. I used binks with both my boys. My 5 month old doesn't get his as often as his 4 yr old brother did though.

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Feona - posted on 10/31/2009

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My son sucks is fingers to self soothe, he will not take a pacifier I have tried and tried. I really don't want him to suck his fingers but whatever makes him happy at this point. He will get fussy in his sleep and then he will pop his fingers in his mouth and he back to sleep again. I have a lovey for him but will not use it until his maybe 1 or so. I don't want him to have anything in the crib with him due to possible suffocation.

Meredith - posted on 10/27/2009

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I also have a 5 month old, we have a mirror that plays music (we got it at wal mart, they have it most places i think. by fisher price) she loves the music, it distracts her really well. we also give her a teething ring and paci for the car ride. usually it works great for us. at night once she gets tired the mobile in her crib seems to help her.

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My pediatrician recommended getting a lovey. We did this with both our children at 4 months and it worked like a charm. We got a blanket lovey (like a tiny blanket with an animal head attached, you can find then on Amazon or at Target). Start putting it in the crib with her at bedtime, rub the soft fabric on her cheek, lay it next to them. Very soon, like within a few nights, they'll just automatically grab onto it and stick the other thumb in their mouth. Then you can choose to either start bringing it around places or have it just for bedtime or whatever works for you. We try to keep ours in the house for cleanliness, but you might want it in the car or for special occasions. You might want to bring her to the store and let her kind of choose a lovey by holding them up to her face and seeing if she cuddles one. I tried to get my second child to attach to a stuffed lion instead of the lovey, but he had a clear preference for the lovey, even at 3 months. It seriously works like magic.

[deleted account]

My pediatrician recommended getting a lovey. We did this with both our children at 4 months and it worked like a charm. We got a blanket lovey (like a tiny blanket with an animal head attached, you can find then on Amazon or at Target). Start putting it in the crib with her at bedtime, rub the soft fabric on her cheek, lay it next to them. Very soon, like within a few nights, they'll just automatically grab onto it and stick the other thumb in their mouth. Then you can choose to either start bringing it around places or have it just for bedtime or whatever works for you. We try to keep ours in the house for cleanliness, but you might want it in the car or for special occasions. You might want to bring her to the store and let her kind of choose a lovey by holding them up to her face and seeing if she cuddles one. I tried to get my second child to attach to a stuffed lion instead of the lovey, but he had a clear preference for the lovey, even at 3 months. It seriously works like magic.

Ali - posted on 10/26/2009

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I'm in the process of trying to teach my 5mth to self sooth, this was sent to me by a sleep expert hope it helps :)
Your baby has no idea their routine is about to change. Naturally your intelligent, sensitive human baby is going to protest by crying and or scream at the changes to their routine. As the parent, you have decided what you are currently doing is not 'working for you' and you are ready to change the going to sleep routine, your baby may not be.
Find a strategy you feel comfortable with that encourages you to remain with your baby when they are upset and not leave them to cry unattended for long periods of time. It is important that you feel comfortable with the strategy so you will continue with it and not give in. Try different settling strategies to find what calms your baby in their bed and remain with them until they are still whinging and then leave the room. Wait outside the door to see if baby self-settles by themselves, if they don't repeat the settling.
Once you commence your strategy it is vital that you remain consistent and persistent with the new strategy in order to continue the results. As the parents we create the habits for the children, good and bad.
It usually takes 3-7 days to achieve your sleeping and settling goals. Babies generally take 3 days to drop a habit and create a new one. Therefore you need to be gentle, consistent and persistent in order to help your baby come to understand the new routine and learn how to self settle to sleep and back to sleep.
Good luck...Its work so far for me :)

Miriah - posted on 10/24/2009

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Mine is like this from time to time. I bought a mirror and he watches himself play now. I have toys on his car seat to and never leave the house without the paci... that seems to work unless he is over tired or have gone potty. :)

[deleted account]

A 5 month old is still a baby. Some babies are more independent while others need more attention. She will self soothe when she's ready without you having to let her cry it out. I don't go to my daughter at the first fuss, but I don't let her cry because we're choosing not to go that way. When we're in the car I bring a toy that makes noise and that seems to entertain her (for long trips I bring multiple toys). She won't be a baby very long so enjoy it while it lasts :) Good luck!

Alexandra - posted on 10/24/2009

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I did the Ferber method (cry it out) well after the first night of 2hs of crying he only gets up once a night and he self soothes now. And only gets up once a night and it wasn't 2 straight hours it was cry for 10mins stop for 5-10 than cry again.

Tara - posted on 10/24/2009

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pretty much the best thing you can do is just let them fuss until they figure it out. :) i know its hard but ultimately in the long run it will be best.

Nicole - posted on 10/24/2009

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Does she put her hand in her mouth? That's how mine self-soothe's. Don't blame yourself...I think some babies are better able to self-soothe. Sometimes leaving them to fuss a bit until THEY find what's comforting themselves works. Good luck! My little one has trouble too

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