Does anyone have a relationship with their "baby daddy" other "baby mamas"?

Willmarie - posted on 09/16/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

14

11

0

My baby's father has me and 2 other baby's mamas which is completely not even relevant... I just want to know if anybody has a relationship with your baby's daddy's other baby mamas? I'm alone in this country and don't have many friends but he never has wanted all of us to meet... And in the back of my mind I would love to be able to relate to them because he's not any of us "man" anymore so there shouldn't be any hard feelings...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kori - posted on 07/22/2010

57

3

7

I have an 8 year old son and his dad (who I am not with anymore) also has 2 other baby mamas and then me. I have an AWESOME relationship with baby mama #1. I am baby mama #2 and I am civil with baby mama #3 (who I barely ever see) I think it was important for me to have a relationship of some kind with the other kids moms because it was easier for the kids (when they did see each other) I am soooo grateful for the relationship that I have with baby mama #1 we actually got to become really close and really good friends and she had given me and still gives me some phenomenal advice since our sons have gone through the same dad issues. I love her dearly and I am so grateful to have gotten to know her and have her be a part of mine and my sons life. I was fortunate because that kind of situation that turns out to be GOOD doesn't happen every day! I never saw that friendship coming either. Like I said earlier I am civil with baby mama #3 but I don't like her. She is a douche just like my sons dad. Not everyone is going to get along with the exes but I think it's important that the kids see everyone at least being civil. You don't have to hang out and be best friends but at least let your kid see you guys being civil. It can be a really hard situation to deal with. And yes sometimes it is really hard to be the bigger more mature person but its a lot less headache and better for all parties involved especially the kids. Hope this helps a little

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

13 Comments

View replies by

Kori - posted on 07/27/2010

57

3

7

Thank god I never had money problems between me and the other baby mamas since the jerk off dad never took care of ANY of his kids!

Mia - posted on 07/26/2010

156

20

26

I wouldn't do it. You never know how they feel about him, and how he will feel about it.

My little cousin did this. She reached out to a girl who got pregnant after she and her "baby daddy" were long over. She wanted to be nice to her so that her daughter could one day know her sibling. The girl caused so much trouble with the baby daddy (example, they would fight about $, and the other baby mam would say things like "Well, I know you just gave ***** $$$ for her baby!", or the other mama would get in a fight with him about visitation, and say "Well I'm going to be at ******'s birthday party, so you'll have to see your kid then!". He cancelled going to his own daughter's 3rd birthday party, because the "other baby mama" was going to make a scene!!).

It has become hell for my cousin, so I say, don't do it!!!!

Amanda - posted on 07/23/2010

387

29

49

I don't have a relationship with the mothers of my son's 1/2 siblings. I know there are at least a few others but there is at least a 4 hour distance between me and the rest of them (I got out of there as soon as I could) and I don't know who any of them are. I don't talk to DBD anymore so wouldn't know how to go about finding them and don't think that I would want to either. There is still a lot of resentment...especially since a twin set of children is only 3 weeks difference in age from my son. Even after 5 years I still hold a grudge. I know they didn't know about me but I was with him for 4 years.... >:(

Melanie - posted on 07/22/2010

178

22

28

i have nearly 4 kids to my husband, who i barely am even with anymore, we split up for a month get back together for couple days then he out again.... i also have 3 children to previous relationships..... which they dont see or hear from their fathers, which is helpfull in my relationship cos my hubby slags them off all the time anyway, he only knows 1 of the fathers......my husband also has 2 kids to 2 other women before me, i have never met them but have spoken to 1 over facebook and organised for my kids to meet their brother, but she never showed up with my stepson... he is 8 now and his father hasnt seen him since he was 1 and i would love to meet him... the other baby mama the first one, i have never spoken to or met, step daughter 15 recently started living with my sister in law and my husband has hardly anything to do with her and does not help financially,

Tara - posted on 09/22/2009

4

24

0

My ex broke up with me when I became pregnant. He also had a girlfriend. They now take my daughter twice a week. It is super weird. I feel like they look down on me. I hope your situation isn't as hard as mine.

Leah - posted on 09/22/2009

1

16

0

I am with a man who has 2 other baby mama's and I beleive it to be important, for the sake of the children, to have that relationship with the other mothers. THey are all siblings and though their backround may be different in some weird way we/they are all a family. Just a note to all you moms out their that do have a "broken" family... dont ever let your kids see any hate you may harbor for your ex-partner. I was lucky as a child and my father and step-father had a common purpose to unite... the kids! It took a good while but they became the best of friends! I cannot express how lucky I was and wished I saw more of it!

Jamie - posted on 09/16/2009

24

22

0

I do not have this problem but my friends do and well it is my sister in law has one child then friend has his other child and then her friend and his 1st baby's god mom ended up with his 3rd child. None are with him but they do all talk and for the most part get along. And it is inportant that your child meet her half siblings as long as you keep it about them and not hating on the dad. Good luck

Caitelyn - posted on 09/16/2009

119

28

6

If I were you, although it hurts, I would try my hardest to get in contact with them as they know the exact situation you're going through, and you would be the best support for each other, due to that total understanding! I think though, that you are a very strong person for suggesting this. even though I say that I would do this, I would never know unless faced with it....

Willmarie - posted on 09/16/2009

14

11

0

I don't have hard feelings because me and him aren't together anymore and even though I still love him I have to think that he is only my baby's father now and my daughter is my #1 priority... As long as she is taken care of nothing else matters... my heart will heal in due time... Thanks ... I love reading the responses... I know one of them has fbook so maybe I will message her one day... I don't know about the other...

Cori - posted on 09/16/2009

8

17

2

Aww, thats really nice that u dont hav any hard feelings towards the other women (to be honest i probably would! i dont even know why!!! lol)

I'd ask him for their numbers or ask around to see if anyone else knows them, if he wont give u the details.

But to be fair he should give you the information, like Amanda said the other children are your child's siblings and they should have the opportunity to know each other!

Amanda - posted on 09/16/2009

31

13

3

I'm married to a man with a son from a girl he wasn't married to and I have a relationship with her.... somewhat. We don't hang out or anything, but that is my children's brother and they have a right to see him! I pick him up and take him places she has to be able to trust me too! I think you should be able to have a relationship with them only for that reason.... That's your baby's siblings!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms