How long do i let her cry?

Bonnie - posted on 12/30/2009

i did to untill i got a light machine with music so when i try to get him to fall asleep on his own i put him in there with a teddy to play with turn the light and music machine on the music goes for ten mintues so i wait until its finished sometimes he is asleep but if he is not crying and the music has stopped i dont go in there cause he could still fall asleep and oftern does. if it gets beyond when the music has stopped and he is non stop crying ill see if he wants a feed cause he will be thirsty from crying then he is also tired and will genreally going to sleep, it is hard hearing them cry but if u know they r tired have a clean bum, and have been feed u know u are doing the right thing thats what i always tell myself. it will happen :)

Tarsha - posted on 12/30/2009

Ok my son is 7 months and when i put him down i try give him a feed sometimes he will fall asleep and there is no probs getting him to sleep but when he doesnt go to sleep i put him down into his cot and then let him scream for 10-15mins max! and then ill go back into his room and then try feed him and then since he has cryed he will go to sleep. sometimes i have to do it a few times but thats how i do it

Marisa - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Delia:

there are a lot of way to have your baby learn to fall asleep on thier own. Ask your baby's doc to give you the info. they usally have something for you to read. Mine did.

The one that worked best was to follow rutine and when he was just about to fall asleep I put him in his crib and he cried for five min. then I patted him without picking him up to clam him down, and continued to do this over and over, but that first night he was about to start sreaming (if you notice a change in thier cry) I picked him up, clam him dowm and agian before he fell asleep completely I put him down, and he sniffuled a little then fell asleep. It's hard the first few nights but they get the hang of it and so do you. Make sure you have support. I had my husband but he wasn't helping because he can't stand the sound of the baby crying even for a second so I kicked him out, cuz my son could hear him and would start crying again. So, just let your baby know you are there and if you need to talk to him/her make it boring and tell your baby you want him/her to sleep in her/his bed from now on and that she/he has her/his bed and you have yours. It helps. They understand better then we think. Good luck, and don't pick up your baby unless necessary.

babies are not little adults.

Delia - posted on 12/16/2009

there are a lot of way to have your baby learn to fall asleep on thier own. Ask your baby's doc to give you the info. they usally have something for you to read. Mine did.



The one that worked best was to follow rutine and when he was just about to fall asleep I put him in his crib and he cried for five min. then I patted him without picking him up to clam him down, and continued to do this over and over, but that first night he was about to start sreaming (if you notice a change in thier cry) I picked him up, clam him dowm and agian before he fell asleep completely I put him down, and he sniffuled a little then fell asleep. It's hard the first few nights but they get the hang of it and so do you. Make sure you have support. I had my husband but he wasn't helping because he can't stand the sound of the baby crying even for a second so I kicked him out, cuz my son could hear him and would start crying again. So, just let your baby know you are there and if you need to talk to him/her make it boring and tell your baby you want him/her to sleep in her/his bed from now on and that she/he has her/his bed and you have yours. It helps. They understand better then we think. Good luck, and don't pick up your baby unless necessary.

LaShawn - posted on 12/13/2009

Such a tough question!
I had the exact same problem w/ my son- he'd wake up in the middle of the nidght looking for me.

I put him in his crib while he's drowsy but not completely asleep and take the pacifer from his mouth (that way, if it falls out, he doesn't cry...) him and should he wake up, I let him "work it out" for 15-20 min. Since doing this, he wakes up less (once or twice a night) then he use to (which was every other hour). When I go to comfort him, I try to keep him in his crib- I'll rub his back and sing to him till he gets drowsy again. Most nights, he'll sleep without waking up- or if he does- he'll put himself back to sleep.

I also put a small teddy bear in the corner of his crib so he knows he's not alone. Works miracles!

Cathy - posted on 12/12/2009

It is very important that babies are given support when they cry. When babies cry, their brains are flooded with stress hormones and they don't cope well. Babies who are left to cry are left to be flooded with stress hormones and this results in adults who are very sensitive to stress and don't cope well with stress. There's a great book by Margot Sunderland called "The science of parenting" or something like that. It's not as scary as it sounds and is actually a really good read.
So, don't let your baby cry for longer than a few minutes if at all possible (I know, there are times when it is not possible to do anything and sometimes we can't calm them, but being there, holding them and talking to them helps).
The Ferber method is only one of the different ways to teach baby's to sleep, but Dr Ferber himself has retracted the "harshness" of his method in 2005, but yet it is still used frequently. In reality, a moderate approach should be used and babies should not be left to cry. Try different methods and see what works. I agree with REbekah that it is a gradual process and if you have several things you do before letting her sleep, try weaning them off one at a time and slowly and see how it goes.
Here's a point: Human's should, in reality, carry their babies in the womb for 21 months, but this isn't done because of the size of the baby's head, which means that a human baby should essentially be considered "in the womb" until they are about a year old...interesting fact, right?
Good luck, and just keeping having patience. But also remember that if you just can't cope anymore, then it's ok to let her cry sometimes!

Taneshia - posted on 12/12/2009

me personally i dont let my sons cry it out, i comfort him whenever he needs me. most say im spoiling my children but i dont think so i think im doing a good job because my older 2 have turned out fine just a bit attached but hey i love it. i tried the cry it out thing and it made me feel horrible heck i was crying along with the baby, it makes the night go smoother if i comfort him and oh he sleeps with me since i breastfeed and i did my other two like that as well. i read somewhere that by meet their demands when they cry it makes them feel more secure in life. whoever came up with the ideal let em cry must not have had any children its too stressful....comfort that child so you and her will feel better!

Rebekah - posted on 12/11/2009

To actually answer your question, I was advised by my son's pediatrician (when he was 6 months old-- he's now almost 3) to let my son cry 3 minutes, go in to soothe him, then 5 minutes later, soothe, then 8 minutes, and then 10 minutes. I think it's called the Ferber method you can google it. The idea is to give him longer and longer between your soothing to let him fall asleep on his own. It worked wonderfully for him at 6 months old.

Another thing that worked for my daughter (6 months old now) is to gradually allow her to fall asleep on her own. I've been teaching her to self-soothe since her birth. I'd put her in her crib after she'd nursed to sleep and if she woke up immediately I'd soothe her without picking her up. Slowly I reduced the amount of things I did to help soothe her, and now when she looks up at me after I've laid her down, I tell her goodnight and she rolls over and goes to sleep. I haven't had to really let her cry, but it's been a process that I've worked on since birth. Since you're child is older I think crying-it-out is the only real quick solution (my opinion).

Check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"

Amy - posted on 12/11/2009

Thank-you for all of the input. I appreciate it.

Erin - posted on 12/10/2009

I might not have been clear. I go back in again and again no matter how long it takes and pick her up and hold her until eventually when I put her down she goes to sleep.

Marisa - posted on 12/10/2009

how is holding your baby a bad thing to do?

Erin - posted on 12/10/2009

My doctor told me that when my daughter turns 9 months that I could let here cry a little. But I haven't gotten there yet, she's 7 months now. We just walk her until she's relaxed and then put her down. The first time I did it I had to go back in when she started to cry. When I went back in I pick her up and walk her again until she is calm and relaxed. So you keep going back in and reasure her that you'll come back for her eventually she will learn to go to sleep on her own. It takes a lot of patients to do the first couple of times you try it. I started doing it for naps so I wouldn't cave in and keep her up. But know she goes down really well awake and puts herself to sleep. I have never let her cry it out.

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 12/09/2009

Agreed. There is nothing wrong with responding to your child's needs. When your baby cries your (mom's) body releases a hormone and makes you feel uncomfortable. Your blood pressure rises and your heart beats faster. This tell me that CIO is unnatural. Here's some more info on CIO

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-...



I found this link by Dr. Sears very helpful when my daughter started waking in the night.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300...

Mikaila - posted on 12/09/2009

every mother is differerent, i am a stay at home mother and have the time to cuddle my baby girl, if it makes her feel more comfortable, then i put her down when she falls asleep. But as soon as she wakes i go get her, I dont want her to feel alone, i carried her for 9 months and whats another year ;). I dont think a baby should have to cry and beg to get attention, so i dont make mine.. Its what i did with my four year old and she isnt spoiled and is the sweetest little girl!