Night Time Sleep Issues

Elizabeth - posted on 07/08/2010

Sounds to me like teething!

I know, that may sound strange because he's happy once he's awake, but my daughter will sometimes do the same thing. She gets just enough sleep that she's rested enough she can't sleep through the pain. Then, she wants to be up and play, b/c play distracts her from the pain. This just recently started with her molars.

Have you tried Orajel/Tylenol/Ibuprofen?

Rebecca - posted on 07/06/2010

my girl is one and she is very active and takes 1 nap because she fights it here lately, but sometimes she takes 2. it depends. i'm a stay at home mom, so it's hectic for me to get her on a schedule because she is different every day and i let her. also i have a 13 yr old and i'm all over the place too. try taking him a bath around 830 and massaging him and listening to soft music and talking to him about it being time for night night. dim lights. keep him active as much as possible so he's ready to sleep at night. i don't have my little one on a schedule and i know i need to be more consistent, but do what works for your family and fit that scheduling in later. i do what helps me sleep. try turning the bathroom vent on or bath water while you are in the bathroom and sing to him until he falls asleep and you can go set him down. remember to keep the atmosphere quiet, dim and relaxing without talking and distractions. maybe even the vaccum cleaner will help to soothe him. this may seem loud, but for some reason the noise grabs a baby's attention.

Vicky - posted on 07/03/2010

hi, well its all a bit too much when they do something great then it changes again!
i have a 14m.o & she usually sleeps 11.5-12hrs a night- some nights she will rouse a bit others not a peep. In saying that there have been a few periods of restless nights & this can sometimes last for up to 2 weeks & they finish as abruptly as they began!
basically as alot of other mums are suggesting that consistency is a key. 1 nap during the day is fine as this is what my daughter does without any problems but i do make sure she has at least 2-2.5hrs so she is well rested & doesn't wake up in a terrible mood! She is also put to bed every night at 7pm & we found that she has a small teddy comforter to hold & a cd player with a soft glowing blue light & we put on a baby lullaby cd (goes for about 30mins but she is usually asleep within 5-10mins)- if we are experiencing the restless periods we just put the cd on repeat softly all night & this works a treat, if she does wake up & cries we offer water & change a poo nappy if she doesnt go back to sleep straight away. To get her through the harder times we just lay her in her cot & stroke her head or rub her back til she is calm & walk out saying 'its bedtime now' every time she is put down for a sleep.
I know it is soo hard to be consistent at 2 or 5 in the morning & ive been there so many times but i go to be with the attitude that i can do this & i will succeed at it so it gives you a little bit of motivation to use the same method each time even when u cant keep ur eyes open!!! it helps to discuss with your partner what you would like to try & stick with it making sure he does the same also. sometimes it just takes a night or two of your partner trying it out & giving you a break so you can approach it again with gusto!!!
there is also a book called 'baby bliss by jo ryan' & it explains a part of why boys wake up at 5am & think they are ready to take on the day...happens alot but you can try to crack it!!! Also just always keep him in his cot til it is time to start the day & offer a feed if it is 2-3hrs of him being restless & awake until he starts sleeping longer & longer
good luck & hope the good sleeping pattern returns.

Kim - posted on 07/03/2010

Hi my Daughter is now 14 months old and has gone through this stage twice since she started sleeping through. I have always found that sticking to a strict routine in the day and evening where she will only have one nap just before lunch and
then her evening routine starts with her evening meal, followed by a bath and then an hours quiet time ready for a cup of milk and bed at 7.00pm.
When my daughter first went through this 'phase' she was 9months old and had just started crawling and hated confined spaces so I took the side of her cot bed and turned it into a bed(a bit of a gamble with her age), this seemed to work wonders and i had her sleeping again in 2 nights. The second time was last month I found that she wasn't liking the bed side I had put on her cot bed so i bought her a full size bed and yet again she has settled down.
If your son is very independant this may be an option for you. I hope this helps and sorry for the lengthy reply. :)

Melanie - posted on 07/02/2010

I must be amongst the lucky ones.
My son, 14 months has always been a good sleeper all round. From the moment he was born, and in hospital. I had to wake him while we were in the hospital every 5-6 hours just to feed him.
Currently he is sleeping 1- 3 hours TWICE a day, then 14- 15 hours at night. Sometimes he wakes up crying almost in hysterics JUST before i go to bed. I have found on these occassions if i sit next to his cot (crib) and stroke his hair or hand (sometimes both) that he seems to calm quicker and returns to sleep. Some nights I get my ipod and ipod dock from my room and set it up in his room and play the music on my ipod at a VERY low level. ( I listened to my ipod all the time while pregnant with him)

All i can add is consistancy and routine....they are BOTH very vital to not only a baby/ young child but to adults/ parents too.

Melanie - posted on 06/30/2010

Our daughter had a period of time when that happened. We would go in and do everything, just as you have done. Some days, we would let her sit and talk to herself until 6. We didn't mind that she wasn't sleeping as long as she realized we weren't coming in until that time.

There were also times when she would wake earlier and not go back down after we did the quick intervention tactics, like helping her find a pacifier or gently pat her chest and use our key words, "It's night night time. Sweet dreams." On these nights, my husband and I found that going in and rocking her helped the most. By doing this, we sent the message that it was still "night night time" but we also didn't let her cry until she was in hysterics. This practice was painful for us, as we were horribly tired the next day, but I think it helped her realize that she needed to sleep until at least 6:00. She did get the message, because this sleeplessness did not last.

We chalked it up to developmental milestones, as it ended as abruptly as it began. Unfortunately, you may just have to ride out the storm.

Laura - posted on 06/30/2010

My son is also 13 months old. Make sure to stick with a night time routine. I don't think 7:30 is too early to go down, but 4:30 is too early to be waking up. I know it might be mean, but try letting him cry it out(i know i've kinda done that already) but just leave him in there and let him cry, even if it take 1.5 hours. It should only take him a few mornings to realize that it's not time to wake up. Whatever you do, don't get him out of bed or he'll start to think it's ok to get up. And I would even try to get him to take a longer nap or two naps during the day...that makes a lot of differance too. They sleep better that way.

Beverly - posted on 06/28/2010

Wow, seems you have quit a problem on your hands....Is he getting a good dinner before bedtime? Does the routine of putting him to bed ever change, I lay my one year old down at around 8 or 9 he sleeps till 8 in the morning. If he is sick of course he will wake up, and sometimes to get him to sleep we have to let him cry it out, cut out the day time naps if you have too. Other than that, thats all the advice i have wish you luck and wish there was more i could say to help you.

Alexandra - posted on 06/28/2010

Is there anything you can put in or by his bed so he can play happily in his crib by himself without waking you?
I also agree that it seems to work out that the more sleep during the day the more sleep at night. Do you think you could get him down for another nap during the day?
I find for any sleep problem - nighttime or naps - the controlled crying method has been the best. I do five minutes, then 10, then 15 etc. (If I'm not feeling strong enough I might do 5, 7, 10, 13 etc). I will touch him with a bit of a back rub but never pick him up. It usually takes only one night of hell to get him back into his routine or to start a new routine. You just have to keep reminding yourself to not give in when you are exhausted and think you're going to crack!
If you could get him to nap again during the day maybe that would help his overall sleep. You may have to have one or two crappy afternoons of trying to get him down! Make sure you get some blackout curtains because a really dark room seems to make all the difference. We also use a sound machine either on white noice or ocean sounds. He now has a great sleep association with these sounds and it really helps him go down quickly, even if he doesn't seem at all tired.
I hope any of this helps even a little! At the very worst it's nice to know that everything is always changing with babies so hopefully this new schedule of his won't continue forever. : )

Nicole - posted on 06/27/2010

I haven't read the other replies but I would put him to bed earlier at night..try 6:30 or 6:00. That helped my daughter. Ensure he contines the nap too. My daughter still takes 2 naps so don't be afraid more sleep during the day will inhibit his sleep at night. Could he be teething? Perhaps this is waking him up at night.

Tracy - posted on 06/27/2010

Thanks for all the info! We are currently working on setting his bedtime a little later and introducing a second nap. So far no change in night time sleep or wake up time, but at least he's getting more sleep overall with a second nap...

Lisa - posted on 06/26/2010

I agree with everyone on routine and naps being important. I noticed my son 13 mos always sleeps longer when he has also had his naps during the day. One thing that has not been mentioned is lullaby music. I always put his music on and he never fusses more than 3-5 minutes at the most. Music works great as part of the bedtime routine!

Lisa - posted on 06/25/2010

My son was a terrible sleeper until he was nearly a year old. I think part of it was just his nature & part of it was my somewhat inconsistency with a schedule (not just at bedtime, but for regular naps, too). My MIL told me I was letting him run the show instead of me telling him when it was sleep time. It made me mad at first, but she was right.

Yes, yes, yes good naps = good night sleep. Have you ever been extremely tired yet not been able to fall asleep or not slept well? It's actually a survival mechanism our bodies use - if you don't rest at the first signs of sleepiness, your body kicks into a second wind to keep you awake, figuring you need to be awake & focusing. Babies do the same thing. The less my son sleeps during the day the worse he sleeps at night. For a very long time I just waited until he acted really fussy to put him down for a nap, but by that time it was too late & he would either cry & cry, not ever settle down and sleep, or sleep erratically & for a very short time. He went on for months being sleep-deprived, yet he wouldn't sleep. I finally figured out that I needed to just put him to bed, whether he acted sleepy or not. Babies tend to get tired 3-4 hours after waking from their last sleep. So give or take a few minutes, 3.5 hours after he wakes up in the morning I do the nap routine & put him in his crib. 3.5 hours after he wakes up from that one we do it again. Then about 4 hours later it's bedtime & we do the bedtime routine. It took him a few weeks before he really got the hang of what to expect & what he was supposed to do, but once he did the naps just kept getting longer & he was waking up happier than I'd ever seen him! It was amazing. Now he literally POINTS to his bed when I hug him just before sleep time. There are no tears at all. About a month after he started taking such great naps he began sleeping through the night (at 13 months of age!). He sleeps 10-11 hours at night.

I also agree with Amber, that really letting a child play hard during his wake times helps him sleep better at naps & nighttime. I wish you the best of luck!

Amber - posted on 06/25/2010

My daughter is starting to act the same way. My solution to getting her to sleep at night is to have her playing outside as much as possible during the day because all the fresh air helps them sleep. If you try to keep them up a little later even, just until 8 - 8:30, give them a bath just before bed and she seems to sleep all night! (even with cutting teeth)

Melissa - posted on 06/24/2010

My son went through a stage similar to this. He would wake up early (like b/w 2 &4) and think it was time to get up and play. He would cry and cry if we left him in his crib, but as soon as he was out he was happy as a lark. We started going in when he would wake up crying and we would lay on the floor next to his crib. He would eventually lay down in his crib, and I would rub his hair until he fell asleep. Then we transitioned that to us laying next to his crib but without any physical contact. This went on for about a week, and I think he decided it wasn't really that fun to be up at that hour! Good luck!

Tracy - posted on 06/22/2010

Once again, thanks for the suggestions. Rebekah and Greta, I agree with you completely about consistency, though I don't want you to think we're not consistent. I think I came across that way in my initial post.

We had a very well established routine. He would go to bed at 7, wide awake, and fall asleep on his own without crying and within minutes. In the morning, he would wake between 5-5:30. I would get him, change him, give him his bottle and put him in bed with my hubby, and he'd sleep for another hour or so while I got up and got ready for the day. He did this for months and months. So I don't necessarily think it's lack of routine or unknown expectations that are keeping him from sleeping longer.

Rebekah, I definitely see your point that what we're doing now is confusing to him. I guess it's just a little hard to think rationally in the middle of the night sometimes ;)

Greta, we do let him cry until he's in hysterics in the morning, and do the check-ins, but I'm just not willing to have that go on and on for hours on end... Maybe that is my problem, I don't know...

Rebekah - posted on 06/20/2010

I completely agree with Greta. She said it much better than my super long attempt to mean basically the same thing.

Greta - posted on 06/20/2010

My son is 13 mo and we recently did a modifed CIO method. He was sharing our bed until 12 mo! We read a book "The no cry sleep solution". Here was the basic method:

1. Have a set nighttime routine.
2. Put baby in bed drowsy but awake- same time every night.
3. If baby cries, go in and talk softly to him at these intervals until he falls asleep- 5 min, 10 min, 15 min and then 15 min there after during that sleep time.
4. If baby cries in the middle of the night, get the timer back out and do the intervals. When you go in at any time to talk softly- DO NOT touch him. Stand at the door and stay less than 30 seconds.
5. Nap times are CRUCIAL. Baby should nap twice a day for a total of 1 1/2 hours to 3 hours.

Baby nap times should be this:

First nap- 3-4 hours after waking. Follow same method as nightime routine(modified shorter) and follow same check ins.

Second nap- 3-4 hours after waking from 1st nap. Same procedures.

We've been doing all of this for about 2 weeks. After a few nights he was sleeping through the night, no longer night feeding and falling asleep in less than 5 min of crying. The book says that naps take longer but he always goes down quickly for those too.

Oh, and you should do the check ins if they wake up in the morning before 10 1/2 hours of sleep. Let the baby in the crib and do the check ins until then- don't get him out.

Hope this helps! It was SO great for us! Plus, because he's getting more sleep he is learning so much more during the day b/c he's well rested! :)

Rebekah - posted on 06/20/2010

Alright... Lengthy message requires lengthy response. Hehe. :) I've found that children DO sleep more and for longer when they are well-rested. So, the more daytime sleep he gets the better quality his nighttime sleep will be (in most cases). When my daughter gets TWO good 1.5-2hr naps, then she'll sleep a solid 12 hours at night... if she misses a nap, she'll only sleep 10 hours. Not sure why it works that way, but that's what I've found with my daughter (and same was true when my son was younger). So I'd continue with the same bedtime and routine.

To me though, it sounds like you've tried too many things without really trying anything in the middle of the night (or early morning). Does that make sense? The poor guy wakes up (and most babies do in the night) and he has no idea what to do or expect... some days you'll play with him, some days he gets to share your bed, go for a drive, or you'll walk him. I'd guess the reason he cries is because he's confused, exhausted, and frustrated.

So... what do you want from him? Do you want him to go back to sleep at 3am or to sit in the floor and play? You're the one teaching him, right? So, you'll need to CONSISTENTLY teach him what you expect from him using ONE method. At this point, you need to reprogram him, so to speak, to fall back to sleep on his own when he wakes up.

I'll admit I've never been in your shoes. I taught my children from very early on, using some controlled crying, that nighttime is for sleeping. I doubt you'd be able to use the crying-it-out method at this point, b/c he's gonna really put up a fight. So you might just try only soothing methods for a while. What I might do (as I said I've never been in this position) is to let him get to the hard crying when he wakes in the night before going to him. Then, pick him up rock him for 5 minutes and then lay him back down. Give him 5 more minutes (or so) of hard crying and then do the same thing (pick him up, rock him, lay him down). I think I'd probably continue that pattern for hours until I got him back to sleep. Then several days later (if it was even necessary) I'd stop picking him up and just cover him up (or pat his back) for a couple minutes. Does that make sense? The real key is to do it consistently.

Tracy - posted on 06/20/2010

Thank you both for your replies.



Cathy, I had not tried cutting out his nap, because he only started napping about a month ago, and napping actually increased his night time sleep. Before naps, he would sleep nine hours at night, and then no more sleep at all. He was exhausted. Now that he naps (one nap in the morning for about an hour), he sleeps 10-11 hours at night.



Yesterday, he didn't have a nap (he fell asleep for no more than 15 minutes in the car) and he still woke up at 4:30. This morning he's very tired and very cranky. Is this normal when naps get cut out? I'm not terribly comfortable nixing his nap if he's going to get this upset, and still not sleep longer at night...



AnnMarie, it sounds like your daughter's schedule is very similar to my son's. Until this past month, he would not nap at all, now he naps for an hour. We do the bath and story time at night, followed by a bottle and a snuggle. He goes down no problem, I just want him to sleep a little longer, and don't know how to get him to.

AnnMarie - posted on 06/19/2010

hi my baby girl was a bit like ur son until recently she has no more than a hour nap during the day shes 13 months we give her a bath b4 bed and she has quiet time then its bed at 7 - 7.30 she has on a all in one plus one of those sleeping bags and lots of blankets and i put a hot water bottle in her bed to warm it and take it out b4 we put her down as our house gets quite cold and since we stared doing that she will sleep till 6 6 30 have a bottle and sleep for another hour or so usually hope this helps