Screeching child!

Melissa - posted on 09/04/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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One of my closest friends has a little boy who is a few weeks younger than my son (mine born in May 2009, hers born in June). We've always been able to talk about everything, except her son because she gets really defensive. I know that every child is different, but for about the last year and a half, her son has been doing this horrible high-pitched scream/screech/squeal thing that is absolutely ear piercing! I'll ask her if her son's okay, hungry, tired, etc., and she can somehow differentiate between the screeches to decipher what mood he's in. My problem is that it's getting really hard for me to go in public with her, or even hang out at our homes. In public, I receive filthy looks and he's not even my child, not to mention I get embarrassed. I'm not saying my son is a perfect angel, but my son knows the difference between inside/outside voices.

My son also talks more than hers, so maybe the squeals are his way of communicating? I was trying to tell my friend about early intervention services, but she got really upset with me.

What should I do? I love my friend, but I'm worried that her son is only still babbling and screeching to communicate -- How do I offer her advice as a friend without her continuing to get mad at me? Do I just leave it alone? Is screeching to communicate normal and I'm just being insensitive?

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Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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Kaz, I have not read or ever heard of the "Baby Sense" book, but I'll look into it. Thank you for the suggestion.

Alisha, thank you for your response! It was really helpful and encouraging :)

I'm a really soft spoken person, so I try to avoid any form of confrontation at all times possible -- But it's starting to get hard. She tells me she's concerned about her son's speech since he only says a handful of words, where most of which are words her son made up for things (i.e. "kiki" is candy). So that's why I brought up early childhood intervention as a suggestion to help her, not to ridicule her or her parenting methods, etc. I tried walking in her shoes, and think maybe she got upset with me because maybe she took it as me saying something was "wrong" with her child. Either way, it's difficult to hang out because her son doesn't just screech when he's happy/excited, but for EVERYTHING! We can't even have a normal conversation without raising our voices so we can speak over him and hear each other. I think I'll make one more attempt at talking to her about it, and if she gets upset with me again I'll just let things be :/

Alisha - posted on 09/07/2011

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not insensitive but try to bring it up carefully that your only asking cause you are concerned and not trying to talk badly about her parenting by any means...that's the things with most moms we all get a little upset about someone saying something about parenting because the world is very different from when we were raised. i'm still trying to get may daughter to know the difference form inside and outside voices cause she also has that spine tingling screech/ squeal as well so i know the pain and she is pretty good about it like when we go out to dinner she does pretty well which makes me happy its just when we are at home and she's having soo much fun with the girl that i babysit that's 4 and she gets caught up in the fun so she will screech . soo its a work in progress soo if your friend does still gets upset even if you give every possibly way do what your gut tells you whatever it may be.

KAZ - posted on 09/06/2011

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I have a friend who's child was squealing at that age, but she agreed that he was spoilt (no nastiness intended here - mine is also very spoilt) but we figured he did not feel the need to communicate yet as his mom and nanny understood what he wanted. When he went to educare, it all changed. He now talks better than my son. That could be an option. Unfortunately there is also the possibility that he feels he is not being heard. This is a very sensitive subject. Have you ever read the book baby sense

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