Seriously, is anyone else's 18 month old as sassy as mine?

Deirdre' - posted on 12/09/2010

Yes! I have a food thrower too! She even shakes her head "no" while doing it because she knows she's not supposed to. I stay very calm and try not to react because they enjoy the reactions...even if negative. I slowly move all her food away from her reach and give her one thing at a time. Still a work in progress but I'm trying. Hang in there, tell your husband what she's doing is normal and overreacting will only encourage the behavior.

Carmen - posted on 12/08/2010

Thanks Ashley, I am glad you included a description about how to go about giving a time-out. We have tried with our son, but he moves from his spot. I didn't realize we should keep trying for up to an hour. he usually calms down within a few minutes after I have sat him back down and NOT talked to him. i agree, that is the key.
So glad to hear all of you are experiencing the same with your May 2009 babies...They are advanced and independent!

Keena - posted on 12/07/2010

I am going through the same thing, my son throws himself out on the floor and everything else. I know you are having a hard time but I honestly dont think there is a whole lot that can be done. Patience, patience and more patience is the only piece of advise I can give.

Nicole - posted on 12/07/2010

This sounds exactly to the "T" of what our daughter went through. You have to be very firm and you do have to put a different firm tone in your voice like you mean what you say and do not EVER give in. Not even once, no matter how much you want to!!! Give time outs even when she throws her food on the floor and do not give her any more food after she throws what she has on the floor. This is when she will really test your boundries and I can't stress enough how firm you need to be.

Amy - posted on 12/07/2010

Hmmm This is our approach so far.



1) try to anticipate and avoid the problem (take food away before she can throw it)



2) NEVER give in once you have made a statement (even if you regret it because she's pitching a fit and it really wasn't such a big deal). If they learn that they can get their way by pitching a fit it encourages them to do it.



3) giving her limited reasonable choices so that she feels she has some control. (i.e. do you want to wear the green shirt or the yellow shirt, not what do you want to wear today)



4) age appropriate time outs for behavior infractions as soon as the problem occurs (I tell her what she did wrong, then sit her down facing the wall for about a minute or two and then we have hugs and kisses)



5) ignore the fits. If she drops to the floor when I tell her no I just calmly say "Oh, do you need to have a coniption now? OK, we'll wait until you are done." I just stand and wait. I don't make any attempt to comfort or reason with her until she is done. It doesn't take long for it to stop once they realize that they aren't getting any attention for it.



This may sound like we are being harsh, but by being absolutely consistant we actually rarely have to resort to time out. We also get LOTS of people commenting on how well behaved she is.

Amy - posted on 12/07/2010

My son does the same things.
He throws food on the floor every time he eats, and he definitely has an attitude. My sons has rules and know that his bad behavior will NOT be tolerated, but he still has his fits anyway. I've had days where I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, but we just keep trying to remind him that his behavior isn't acceptable.
We've started time outs (Only for 1 min) this seems to be helping as he really dislikes being ignored (as do most 18 month olds). We put him in his time out chair and make sure that he is turned facing the wall, so he can't see anyone. This usually starts a fit, but it's short lived and he seems to behave for awhile after he's done his time out.

Ashley - posted on 12/06/2010

Honestly, this is the age you can start implementing time-outs. (That is if she is throwing the food out of spite, and not because she is done eating or whatever). We use the Super Nanny technique for time out, and it works. You are the parent, and you need to let her know what behavior is acceptable and what is not (my girls are ages 5 1/2, 3 1/2, and 19 months), and we started doing this when my oldest was around 18 months, and we rarely have temper tantrums. Don't get me wrong, my girls will still have them, but they are nipped in the bud quickly with the time out technique. We don't have to spank or yell at them.

What you do is give her a strong verbal warning. Then if she continues the bad behavior, you put her in the designated time-out spot (one minute per year of age). If she gets up before the alloted time, you put her back - but without talking. THIS IS KEY!!! She will want to get a response from you, but you mustn't give in and speak to her. The first few times you put her in time out, it may take an hour or two before she sits there for the full time, but trust me, it is worth it in the end and will make the two's and three's much more manageable.

After she has sat there for the duration of time-out, you then go to her and tell her why she was put in time-out, and that you need an apology. After she apologizes, give her a hug and a kiss and tell her you love her, and all is well.

I am speaking from experience with this technique. It definitely works, but it's key to not speak to them while they are in the time out, and to put them back in time-out if they get up before their time is up.

Lyndsey - posted on 12/06/2010

my daughter throws fits like no other and its hard but when she does i try to ignore it if shes on my lap i put her down and tell her when shes ready to be a big word i will pick her up again it got worse at first but its starting to get better the more you give in or respond to the tantrums the more they will throw them cause they learn if the scream for so long they get wat they want i also tell her i cant understand her and to use her words and if shes pushing her cup and grunting i make her say cup or more please she loves to get into things and has figured out how to get around all of the gats so i close all the doors and shes even learning how to open them so when shes getting into stuf i curect her with words if she keeps doing it then time out and i tell her why shes in time out and if she still does it she gets a lite smack on her hand or bum

Hillary - posted on 12/04/2010

Our daughter does the same thing. Throwing the food on the floor drives us nuts and she knows she's not supposed to do it. I'm pretty sure she doesn't do this at daycare. I think they know what buttons to push on their parents. She is also into the hitting when she doesn't get her way. We do time-outs for her when she does hit and she knows that she's in trouble. I blame it on early terrible 2's also and the fact that she gets frustrated cause she can't clearly communicate her wants/needs yet.

Holly - posted on 12/04/2010

think there just getting to the terrible 2 age lol! as its not that far away now, doesnt seem 5 mins since their 1st birthday.
My daughter is just turning 19 months and is exactly the same! she screams so load if she doesnt get her way i just tell her that its not nice or i ignore it. I dont want to make to much of a fuss as i know shes clever and will proberly keep doing it if she relises that it annoys me!! think this next yeat is going to be fun for us all lol we will proberly have grey hair by the end of it!!

Amanda - posted on 12/03/2010

Haha! *that was a laugh of understanding!* I do have to say that she will hand me her plate when she is finished eating so we don't have the food throwing problem. We started with good table manners as soon as she started solids and it has stuck. Also a key is just paying attention to when they are done eating and pick up the plate before the food hits the floor. For the most part she is SUPER good, picks up her toys, puts her cloths in the dirty laundry bin, sits in the tub instead of walking around, and eats well...Before a year old she started with the sassiness. If she is told "no" at any point about anything she cries like someone has just spanked her. She has real tears and everything. She laid down in the middle of the grocery isle and went limp at 13 months when I told her to put the canned veggies back. If crying doesn't work she will occasionally bite. She really likes threatening to throw things at her older brother to get a reaction....and if I can find a way to keep clothes on her I would be the happiest mommy ever!!!

But that is what makes them special!!! :)

Colleen - posted on 12/02/2010

Well, it is so nice to hear that we are not alone in this...now some relief knowing it isn't just my child. Thanks for everyone's comments. I know they have helped me.

Nicole - posted on 12/02/2010

Hi Dawn,

You are describing my May baby, Evangeline, to a "T." She has improved on the whole throwing the food on the floor issue, but it was an every day occurrence at one point. I am starting to realize that when she is really acting out, she is either tired, hungry, frustrated, or teething. What we did when she threw her food on the floor was, crouch down and look her in the eyes and say firmly, "We do not throw food on the floor" and I would then take her out of her high chair and walk away. What she does now is yell, " I done! I done! I done!' over, and over, until someone responds and takes her down. :-)

My daughter is also very demanding and strong willed and I know how frustrating it can be! I am glad we can come on here and get our frustrations out and try to support one another. Best of luck to you and your family!

Elsa - posted on 12/02/2010

My 18 month old son is into hitting.. he also throws his toys and yells... good times. sigh. lol

Rebekah - posted on 12/02/2010

My 18 month old son has lots of attitude. He likes his own way and if we don't do what he wants boy do we know about it! But the funny thing is I don't know why he is like this because he has rules and he certainly doesn't get away with bad behaviour but he still screams and throws tantrums. So I don't know what you should do because I'm not sure what else to do to stop this happening either.

So I just put it down to the terrible two's arriving early. Oh and also that he is quite clever and very independent. He knows his own mind! :)

Colleen - posted on 12/01/2010

OMG! I am having the same issue with our daughter. I feel your husband's pain! I think for us, is that we went to full time Mommy to mommy does nights and daddy now does mornings and from 3 days to 5 days at the day home. I do agree with what Belinda E. and Jessica N. are saying, but man, you really feel alone sometimes. I also think that May babies are SMART! They have a real strong sense of self these one's...or maybe it's just because they are girls. Well, hopefully she gets it out of her system before she is a teen...maybe then we will sit back and enjoy the ride. HA! Until then, I am going to stick with timeouts, walking away and distracting. I will have to work on not raising my voice or getting so upset too. Keep me posted!

Gillian - posted on 12/01/2010

this sounds like melol

Jessica - posted on 11/27/2010

My son throws food on the floor it is their way of showing they are done. She is getting close to 2 YEARS OLD have u heard of terriable 2's and this is just the begianing.

Belinda - posted on 11/25/2010

My 18m/o is the youngest of 4, and definetely has the most attitude.

My eldest 3 are all developmentally delayed, so i dont know if that plays a part in either.



But the young one laughs when you say no....gives you cheeky looks when he is touching something he knows he shouldnt (a look of "Common...tell me off!!!") and is going through a really bad "MINE!!!!" and "NO!" stage



All kids go through some sort of stage like this. They are testing their limitations and finding their independance!