sleepless nights at 1yr old

Sharntel - posted on 05/05/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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my son is 1yr old on may 16 he is having un-settled nights, he will go to sleep but waking up threw out the night screaming. the only way i can settle him is lay down with him in my bed. i need help so that he will sleep in his own bed all night any ideas on how to setle him would be fantasic

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Claudia - posted on 05/17/2010

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I recently attended what is commonly referred to as a "sleep school" or sleep clinic after being severely sleep deprived myself because my daughter would wake up 3 -4 times a night wanting her bottle. I've read a lot of books, understood them but wasn't strong enough to deal with her crying during the night on my own and it was easier just giving her a bottle. I have since learned just to be more firm and trust my judgement and not waiver in my decision. Check with your local health care nurse if there is such a service in your area. Quite often they can help you and point you in the right direction. We stayed there for 3 nights 4 days and the nurses helped me with getting my little one settled for day and night sleeps the first few times. I then did it on my own but always had their assistance if I needed it. It was THE BEST thing I ever could have done - it gave me a lot of confidence too. The first time was tough and she did cry for some time but the whole time I had a nurse there who guided me and reassured me that my baby was ok, she was not hurting, she was just objecting. We didn't let her cry senselessly without end, we listened to the sound of her cry and when we felt she needed reassurance (after 10-15 min or so) I went in there, patted her behind gently and made "shh shh" sounds while gently holding her down with my other hand without picking her up or making eye contact or talking to her. If she was fighting me I would walk out of her room and wait for another 10 min before going in. She really only resisted the first few times. My daughter just turned 1 on the 10th May and she has learned to sleep through from 7pm to 6am since the sleep school. If she wakes up during the night she is able to self settle and get back to sleep and if she won't I do the same routine and say say firmly "lie down, its sleepy time - close your eyes" and pat her behind gently a few times before leaving the room. i also judge it if I feel I need to stay a little longer and rub her belly instead just to re-assure her that I'm there then I will do it. Here is what I have learned. It may not apply to you but perhaps it might help you. It is important to have a night time routine which signals to your baby it is almost sleepy time. I feed her around 5:30pm, bath her around 6pm and no later than 7pm she's in bed. After her bath let her play quietly for a little while and later reading a short book to her and let her have her final bottle for the night. I also make sure my baby has a good evening meal beforehand so that she sleeps through and good meals during the day too. Then I tell her "it is almost sleepy time, lets tidy up your room". Once we have tidied up her room I usually turn off all the lights in her room and only have a small light in the passage on. I sit her on my lap for a final cuddle, tell her softly "its sleepy time, mummy will put you into bed now, nite nite, love you" and whatever else comes to mind. I then put her down and say "night night, sleepy time" and walk out without looking at her. I close the door. If she objects I let her cry (normally its a whine) for a little while. She's normally asleep within 5 min and no further help from me is needed. Another thing that is important, I try not to let her nap for later than 4pm in the afternoon otherwise she won't be tired by 7pm (3 hours from wake-up). Also know, this is not called controlled crying and certainly didn't cause my daughter any distress. Quite to the contrary I think she feels more secure now that she knows what the guidelines and 'rules' are, she's a very happy and contented baby and I feel I did the right thing for both of us. Good luck :)

Becky - posted on 05/13/2010

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I live by the Baby Wise series of books. They were recommended to me by a friend and I in turn recommend them to everyone I know who has children. I follow the Baby Wise sleep schedule religiously. My son has slept from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. since he was 8 weeks old and every child that is put on this program has had the same results. It takes a little discipline on the parent's part to make sure that they have almost the same schedule every day, but it pays off exponentially in the end!

[deleted account]

i disagree with "sleep training". Read "the no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, very good and doesn't involve controlled crying which is psychologist are against!
www.pantley.com

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Sandra - posted on 05/24/2010

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may be try to put her to bed a bit later, my little lad has just turned one and he goes to bed around 8.30 and usually wakes up between 6.30 and 7.

[deleted account]

My daughter was 1 on 11 May and she rarely sleeps through the night, Im less worried as she is my 3rd child but the frustration is no less than with any other of my kids. I can say that they do grow out of the waking. Some take more time than others. I agree with sitting by their side as its generally your presence that helps them to relax - a few strokes of her hair and she is off to sleep most times, but a bottle is always a good back up and if that doesnt work, sitting up with her for half an hour does the trick. I never allow them into my bed because that is a very hard habit to break. Everyone has their own method so before forking out for expensive potions or books, give these tips a try first :)

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2010

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My son has been doing the same thing. It's been really tough. My doctor told me that sometimes when babies are learning to walk, their muscles become over active (kind of like restless leg syndrome in a sense) and that causes them to wake up. She said babies sleep more during growth spurts, but sleep less when meeting developmental milestones.

I'm sorry, but it is my personal preference not to let my son cry things out. His father was a rare case, and experienced a stroke at 2 years old because his mom let him cry out a tantrum. My BF ended up crying so violently that it dislodged a blood clot. Everything he had learned up until the age of 2 like walking, talking, etc. he had to learn all over again. Knowing this, I'm not willing to take the risk and can't let my son cry for more than a few minutes..

Rebekah - posted on 05/22/2010

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Claudia W did the technique that worked for us too. Early bedtime, predictable bedtime routine, some crying, and no picking them up, feeding, or eye contact after its "bedtime." It works! You have to do it if you want any sleep yourself and I say, better now than later.

Holly - posted on 05/20/2010

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I did the cry it out and after 2 nights of my daughter knowing that I was not coming in her room when she woke up.. she sleeps all night. I always make sure she has a nap for about an hour and a half everyday. its hard to listen to her cry but trust me.. its worth it!!! and try to keep them awake as long as possible. I use to put her to sleep around 8 to 9 but she was ready to go at 5. not so good. so i now keep my daughter awake and play till about 10 and she sleeps till 8 or 9. its amazing!!

Andrea - posted on 05/19/2010

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Before reading all of these other posts, I really thought, I was one of the very few moms that had a 1 year old still waking up. My second little girl's nickname has now become Vampira b/c she won't sleep....she's never slept through the night nor does she nap well during the day. Any thoughts on being a really active child? It's not that she's grumpy, she's really a happy baby/child and always smiling, but she just doesn't sleep. She goes down between 8-9 pm and wakes up 2-4 times. Sometimes she'll be ready to go at 4-5 am or other times she'll sleep til 7 am. Regardless, she wakes up. Anything that might help....I'm up for trying. After 12 months, I'm just running on fumes myself.

Lynette - posted on 05/19/2010

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How many naps is he having during the day? He may even be teething. I have this problem with My one year old sometimes and I pop her into bed with me until she's gone then I pop her back in her cot and she usually stays there.

Nadira - posted on 05/19/2010

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My 1 year old son wakes up at 2 - 3am and wants to sleep with me on our bed. I dont believe 'cry out' method, it didnt work and made me feel bad and guilty...I dont mind him sleeping with us, but I have sleepy bags under my eyes most of times...I think it will go away as time passes by as they grow... I wouldnt take it as a huge problem. I suppose this is motherhooding, title sounds easy, but very difficult work...All we have to do is just enjoy! X

[deleted account]

The good news - it will get better. The bad news - there is no set plan for any given child. My daughter will be 1 on May 24th - my husband and I have been doing the "Ferber Method" in which you check on her at 1 min. then 3 min then say 5 min until she eventually soothes herself to sleep. I am waiting in the hall with a broken heart - but I know everyone does better once she learns to soothe herself. :)

Wendy - posted on 05/19/2010

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It is reassuring to see that there are other 1 year olds that don't sleep through the night. My 1 yr old wakes up every 2 to 3 hours still. Sometimes, he is hungry when he wakes up and other times he wants to be held or snuggled with. We co-sleep with him which does help make it easier. We feel like now is a good time to start transitioning to a crib and are concerned about the transition. I am not a fan of crying it out but I will definitely look into some of the other advice given.

Rasa - posted on 05/18/2010

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my baby boy just turned 1 May 11th. he has never slept through the night. we co-sleep, and I don't believe in letting a baby cry it out...I have read the no cry sleep solution and tried the techniques. he still wakes up 3-4 times a night. I have tried EVERYTHING! he still nurses and always want to nurse back to sleep. I have tried just rubbing his back and/or rocking this works about 5% of the time, otherwise he just screams until I give in and nurse him back to sleep. he also will not sleep at night or during naps unless I sleep with him....I want to do what is right but, this seems crazy now since he is one year old and still won't sleep....help

Donna - posted on 05/18/2010

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I went to a sleep and feeding school with my son now 5 who would only sleep for 20-45mins at a time, even through the night i was sleep deprived for 4months (looked like shit I might add)the school was a huge help and I learnt alot and when it came to my girl who is one 25th may, she has always slept through the night from birth and only woke while teething or fluish, however in the past week she has been waking 2-3 times a night and i can usually go in tuck her in and give her the dummie and all is well but not now, she will cry loudly once I do this as if I was ment to pick her up which I have never done when she is ment to sleep...so I have been strong and let her cry a little and she gets herself back to sleep after 10 mins of this...I have to admit since she was born I have had her sleeps at the exact times daily and put her to bed every night at 7pm and she sleeps till 7am....hang in there ladies...its all worth it and every baby is different...pat yourselves on the back being a mother is the hardest job there is, you are doing great!

Melissa - posted on 05/18/2010

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I had this same problem and I happened to come across an article in a magazine about this. One of the first suggestions was to put your child to bed earlier and it worked. My son used to go to bed around 9 cuz he didn't seem tired until then, but I was wrong. He now goes to sleep between 7:30 and 8 and sleeps until at least 7 the next morning, then takes a half hour to hour nap in the afternoon. Another thing that may help in the middle of the night wake ups is something I discovered on my own. First, let your baby cry for 5 minutes. If he has not fallen asleep yet go into his room, don't talk to him or make eye contact, then just lay him back down and gently pat his back until he falls back asleep; for me it usually only takes a minute or two. It almost always works. I think it still lets him know you are there but also that it is still nighttime and he should be sleeping. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Rebecca - posted on 05/17/2010

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My one year old still wakes up at least once a night. We tried to let him cry himself back to sleep one night, but that took an hour and he was crabby the next morning. The only way we can get him to go back to bed is to give him a bottle. Maybe try putting a chair next to his crib that way when he wakes up you can sooth him from the chair while he is still in his bed. I tried this with my daughter when she was about 13-14 months old and it took a while but eventually she slept through the night. Do you think he is having a fear of the dark? Maybe try a night light and some soft music. Good luck.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2010

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Im probably of no help but I just wanted to thank you for asking this question adn reading all the responses. Its so comforting to know that Im not the only mother out there with a 1yr old who still dosent sleep through the night and still like night time feeding.

Lena - posted on 05/15/2010

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My son will be one on the 27th. He goes to bed between 730 and 830 at night... then is up like an alarm clock at 545. Its not bad 5 days a week when I have to get up at that time for work... but on my two days off it is horrible :( I could use some help too!!

Cristina - posted on 05/13/2010

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My girl Avalyn is doing the same thing. She'll go to sleep around 7-9pm and then up a couple hours later screaming. Sometimes I just find her a paci and rock her back to sleep, but most times she wants to be fed. I even give her a big meal before bedtime, but she still wants that bottle around 3am! I still don't get any sleep!

Jody - posted on 05/13/2010

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OMG that is exactly what we are going through. i have been trying to ignore it more and more and she will go back to sleep, but all of a sudden she doesn't want to go to bed at night either. She used to go right to sleep no fuss and now she sits in there and screams. any help???

Lauren - posted on 05/13/2010

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I have a 3 year old who refuses to go to bed until at least 11 p.m. and my 1 year old who is the same way. My 3 year old will sleep until noon or later if I'd let him, but my 1 year old wakes almost everday between 3 and 4 a.m. I've tried making him nap at 3 or 4 in the afternoon and give him and 8 oz bottle with some food, but it still doesn't help. I know if I pick him up and cuddle him, He's usually back asleep within 5 minutes, but then he's back up at 9 or 10 a.m. He's on a very strange schedual that he has done since he was born. Up at 10 down again at noon, up at 1 and then another nap at 4 or 5 and up at 6 until 11 or later. I could use some help too.

Toni - posted on 05/13/2010

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I have twin boys who will be 1 on May 20th and they both wake up throughout the night and will scream until I pick them up and rock them back to sleep. I refuse to try the "cry it out" method because it wakes the other one and then I have TWO screaming babies....please help!

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2010

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My daughter is one on May 20th and she goes to bed between 7-7.30 and wakes up at 4.30 every morning, we have tried everything to get her to sleep longer ( night-time milk, self soothing, sleeping in our bed, etc, etc) but nothing works. My son who is three has always been a good sleeper and is more like a teenager refusing to get up in the morning! HELP!!!

HOPE - posted on 05/13/2010

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My daughter will be one on May 28 and she still wakes up like your son does. She sleeps in her crib next to our bed but usaly I just give her a minute to cry to see if she will fall back to sleep on her own. I agree though any sdvice anyone had I would love to try and use it.

Emily - posted on 05/13/2010

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I read "Good Night Sleep Tight" and found that to be helpful. That author recommends sitting next to the crib to sooth baby and then fazing yourself out. It worked well when I did it but my husband likes to rock him back to sleep. We need to be on the same page. My baby had gotten to be a good sleeper but now is waking at night again. The only other thing that i am wondering about for my guy is whether I am feeding him enough in the evenings. good luck!

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010

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I love that book that Rebekah recommended! He may be teething too...did you try some motrin (the generic of course due to the recall)? Make sure he is getting his naps throughout the day. Good luck...hang in there

Rebekah - posted on 05/05/2010

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Check out the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Sounds like you might have an overly tired baby. Or a little guy that hasn't learned to self-soothe. If co-sleeping works, you might just consider continuing it... BUT, if it's causing you all to get LESS sleep, I'd really recommend some kind of sleep training. At this age, he's perfectly capable of sleeping all night... and taking good naps during the day.

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