spoiling baby

Jennifer - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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my husband keeps getting om me for going to our son and picking him up whenever he crys because he thinks i will spoil him. I read that for the first 6 months u cant spoil a baby. Is anyone else going through this? i hate to hear my son cry so i always hug him and take care of him when he gets upset i dont think there is anything wrong in that. Sometimes he crys when I am busy for a few minutes but usually i get to him quickly. any advice?

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I don't think you can spoil a baby that young. BUT, I did it with my daughter and to this day she is very clingy! Some crying is good because it's good for their lungs which I am now letting my son 'vocalize' a little more than I did with my daughter. GOOD LUCK.

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Korie - posted on 07/28/2009

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When I took my son to the peditrician he told me that if you pick up your baby when they cry they will have less of a tendancy to be colicky. I feel bad if I take a shower and put Connor in his swing by himself. I feel the need to check on him just to make sure he isn't crying. My grandmother (Connor's greatgrandmother) told me he needed to cry it out. I asked her to watch him while I went to the doctor for my 6 week follow-up. She quickly found out that Connor was not going to go to sleep if he was crying.

Charlene - posted on 07/27/2009

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I am the same way. I just had my 3rd baby and I did all of them this way. Yes they are close to me but they have never been "spoiled" I love my children more than anything and I still cuddle the older ones when they cry as much as the baby. I do let her cry some if i can't get to her right away and it doesn't hurt her one bit, but it also doesn't hurt to pick her up either. Love on your baby as much as you can and don't worry about it!!

Lacey - posted on 07/27/2009

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I am totoally the same way. When my son cries I want to run to him, but I have three other children and a large house that all have to be taken care of. This means that sometimes I have to just let my son cry for a few minutes. On that note I have been told that letting them just cry for 5-6 min helps them to develop their lungs and also teaches them soothing skills. Well I hope everything works out for you.

Tracy - posted on 07/27/2009

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Much of what I have read and (I tend to agree) is that in the first 6 months you really cannot spoil a baby. If fact, many experts feel that by meeting their needs (ie picking them when they cry) actually helps the child to be less needy for you when they are older. They are taught early on that you will be there for them and they feel more secure.

Jessica - posted on 07/26/2009

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My mother and everyone else around me feels the need to tell me that I shouldn't go to my child every time she cries. I know how you feel my friend that has six kids told me this go with your instincts they will be right. She agrees with the rest you can't spoil them and I have to say I ask her because she has six very well behaved kids.

Rhiannon - posted on 07/26/2009

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And don't forget, for nine months they went everywhere you went, 24/7 - they are already spoiled! Seriously though I have to agree with the others - you just can't spoil 'em, 'specially 0-6 months.

Darci - posted on 07/25/2009

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In my prenatal classes back in 2005, the teachers/nurses told those of us in the class that you can't spoil a baby. During the first 6 months especially, you are building a trust between you and your baby. Your baby cries because he/she needs you or something... even if it is just cuddling and wanting to be held. During this time, your baby is learning that he/she can trust you, and it is very important to go and meet your babies needs when he/she cries. Your husband could be cuddling/tending to the baby during this time too... the baby just needs to know that someone will be there to care for him/her when he/she cries. I was told to not let a baby "cry it out" until they are at least 6 months old. I had my 3rd child on May 13th, and I must say that my 2 older children (3 1/2 years old and 2 1/3 years old) are pretty well-balanced, very trusting children... and I seldom let them cry when they were little. And, I don't think they are spoiled. Other people like them, and they're pretty well-behaved (I may be a bit biased), but I think they have to be pretty well-behaved or I'd be insane with three under the age of 4. However, once the kids were a little older (8 months or more), I let them cry it out during nap/bedtime in their crib to get them to learn how to comfort themselves and put themselves to sleep; it only took a day for my oldest and a couple days for my middle child. They are excellent sleepers now (around 10 hours a night). Hope this helps.

Jennifer - posted on 07/23/2009

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Thanks guys for all the responses! I appreciate it! I just wish he was a bit more supportive about this.. He just doesn't seem to understand.. oh well :) at least I am not alone!

Danielle - posted on 07/22/2009

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i guess it depends on why our babies are crying. usually at this age if they cry it is because they need something so it is a good idea to get them and meet there needs so really you aren't spoiling a baby you are just doing what they need done and sometimes they do just need a bit of comfort so how is that spoiling.

i know i find it very hard to listen to my Daughter crying,

but in short let your other half know that you are right you can't spoil a baby but you are just meeting your sons needs, how would he feel if yoru son was starving and he just let him cry for half hour about it

Keela - posted on 07/22/2009

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Ditto! I believe its jealousy. Our men are use to having all the attention...Now they have to wait.. cause our babies are our priority.

Candace - posted on 07/22/2009

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I don't have any advice but i know what your talking about. My husband says the same thing b/c the only way our daughter will fall asleep most of the time is by laying next to me. He says its my fault bc i let her do it and everytime she crys i get her and rock her. I just dont think dads understand like us moms do. Its hard for me to just sit and let her cry. I dont like it. Maybe its just a mom thing... i have no idea but if you do figure it out or get any good advice plz pass it my way

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