Want another baby but scared

Lacey - posted on 08/03/2010

Thanks everyone. Im sorry so many had such bad experiences. But Im glad to hear most didnt let that keep them from having a larger family.
Tania- Im so sorry you had so many loses. I dont know how I would have handeled that. I think its amazing that you never gave up. Everything happens for a reason.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/02/2010

I had eclampsia with my oldest daughter. I read another post that said that c-section is the only way. I have had vaginal deliveries with both girls. Story short, each pregnancy is different. My second full pregnancy (I am prone to miscarrying), was textbook perfect. I even delvered with no medicine with that one. My first one, with eclampsia, I went into labor a week early. I was sick the entire time.
The main thing, be careful not to check out too many websites, because alot of it will only upset you. Only check out the websites the doctor recommends. If the doctor feels that if closely monitored, go for it! Don't worry about it, only you, your husband, and doctor can make the right decision. Get a second opinion from a specialist if you need to. You might just get lucky! Good luck!

Tania - posted on 07/31/2010

Hi Lacey......sorry to hear that happened to you and I understand your fear of having another baby. I have not had pre eclampsia but I have a rare blood disorder that has caused me to lose 9 babies. Eight were miscarriages but one was a stillborn baby girl at 33 weeks. I too almost died during this experience as i suffered a placental abruption and almost bleed to death! I want you to know that only you can know in your heart if you really want another child. I am sure that the doctors will look after you and you would be monitored with the utmost care! I also want you to know that I did not give up! I went back for pregnancy number 10 and now have a beautiful 14 month old daughter. I was stressed through my pregnancy but I did indeed have all the care in the world....monitoring three times per week and and an ultrasound every two weeks. I don't regret my journey one bit! I look at my precious girl everyday and I'm so glad that I was able to trust my heart and give it another go!
I hope this helps you a little! But do trust what's in your heart!
Take care xxx

Suzanne - posted on 07/31/2010

My 1st child is now 14 months and I am almost 5 months pregnant with no 2. I had pre-eclampsia first time round which resulted in a c-section. My obstetrician told me there is only a 20% chance I will get pre-eclampsia this time round. That is a 80% chance of not getting it again. Pretty good odds!

Rebecca - posted on 07/31/2010

I would say dont let it put you off because next time could be completely different. I too had a complicated pregnancy because i am type 1 diabetic. I had some signs of pre-eclampsia too with constantly border line BP but nothing was really done about that side of things, my membranes ruptured 6 weeks early and I had to be induced then had emergency c section. I still would have another one though - because I love my little man so much that I would love him to have a sibling. Good luck in what ever you decide and have faith that it will be ok.

Anna - posted on 07/31/2010

I had a similar experience. My pre-eclampsia was detected when I was at 31 weeks though so I had a C-section and the crazy blood pressure too. Plus I was swollen up like a balloon.
There was more concern with our little one than with me though, and it shook us up pretty good.

I completely understand your concern for having another one! I felt the same way, and sometimes still do, though less now that I found out that I am pregnant at 8 weeks right now. \Our deciding factor was that we just didn't want our baby to be an only child, and we didn't want them too far apart so they wouldn't be able to play. My Dr. appt is in two weeks and I'm quite anxious to have a little conversation with him about the same things.

The Dr. told me after I had my first that it was less likely that I would have pre-eclampsia again but still possible. I'm assuming this time around they will monitor me much more closely. Also, I was working at the time I was pregnant before and I won't be this time. Though I didn't have a medical professional confirm it, I really believe that had a lot to do with it.

We all know what to watch for now and will be a little more cautious, though I have to say, if it happens again this will probably be my last.

Good luck with everything. Every situation is different. And don't feel bad for being nervous. There really is so much at stake. We owe a lot to the medical staff that took care of us.

Melissa - posted on 07/30/2010

For my first child I was induced 1 week early because I was showing signs of preeclampsia. I had protein in my urine and my blood pressure had been climbing during my 3rd trimester. Everything was fine and for my second child we had none of those problems. I didn't have the severe swelling I had before (during my 3rd trimester) and my blood pressure was fine. I think knowing that you had it before will cause your doctors to be more careful and more prepared for the next baby. I would consider having another. But it's up to you two.

Erin - posted on 07/30/2010

Yes 15/16 months is perfect timing to get preggo w/ #2...then they are 2 years apart...old enough for the oldest to understand and be a bit independent but young enough not ot be set in their ways

Lacey - posted on 07/26/2010

Thank guys. Its nice to hear what everyone has to say and hear your experiences.

KC - posted on 07/26/2010

KC - posted on 07/26/2010

Everyone should know their options for giving birth!!

Jennifer - posted on 07/26/2010

I had severe preeclampsia with my first daughter (born Oct 07). I was told that it is caused by your body having an allergic reaction to the father's DNA. As long as your second baby is with the same father, you are 90% likely NOT to have it again. Your body has already figured out that DNA. My second pregnancy was completely normal, no preeclampsia at all. My second daughter was born May 09, so they are only 18 months apart. If you were to have a child by another man someday down the road, you would likely get preeclampsia again. But as long as you stay with the same partner, you're pretty safe to try again. Good luck!!! My second pregnancy and delivery experience was a dream compared to the first. I hope yours is too!

Becky - posted on 07/26/2010

I have never had pre-eclampsia but I have a seizure disorder that I have had since my birth. Doctors told me that me having seizures that I could never have children. I now have 2 wonderful and very healthy boys(5 & 1 yrs old). Of course docs watched me very closely but it was my belief in God that got me thru the pregnancies.

I say if you want another baby then give your fear to God and believe that he will take care of you. Good luck

Tania - posted on 07/25/2010

I had pre-eclampsia with my first child born april 2006. Although it was no way near as sereve as what you expereienced, mine was still dangereous. It started at around 20weeks and my blood pressure just kept going up, and protein in my urine. By 32weeks my midwife was talking about hospital bed rest until i was induced 3 weeks later. Between 32-35weeks I was putting on 1kg of weight each week because of fluid. It was a very frightening experience. However things leveled and my blood pressure although high stopped rising for a while so they let me go, (with close monitoring) and at 37weeks my son/my body decided that was enough and my son arrived. He was born naturally weighing 6pd 8oz. In the next few weeks there was all sorts of issues...including jaundice, lack of weight gain he had a lot of prem-baby issues.
He is now a fit and heatlhy 4 yr old.

I was worried about having another baby given how sick i got and how dreadful i felt. I was told that its something generally that effects first time pregnancies. But because having it first time it does increase the risk second time round vs women who didn't have pre-eclampsia first time.

My second pregancy with my daughter born may 2009 was brilliant. There was no trouble with anything. She went full term with no hassle. I did get nervous when visiting the midwife thinking "oh is evertyhing ok today... always scared that i'd get it again". But it never happened THANKFULLY

Talk with your ob, doc, midwife or who ever is going to be responsible for you while your pregnant. Discuss with them all the questions you have.
Good luck... I wish you the very best. :)

Lacey - posted on 07/25/2010

Melanie- I'm so sorry that happened to you. I cant imagine how hard it must have been for you. Hearing your story definitely helps. I'm glad to hear they were monitoring you so well. That really helps hearing what you had to say.
I have considered adoption and its something I would like to do one day. Unfortunately its not so easy to convince my husband of doing that. I hope he changes his mind one day. But I would like to have one more try at having a baby. Its hard for me because I don't remember my daughter being born at all. I don't remember the first time seeing her, hearing her cry or touching her. I feel very robed of the birth experience. So its hard for me to think about not having one more of my own by birth.

Lisa - posted on 07/25/2010

Have you considered adoption? There are MANY, MANY, MANY children out there who would give the world to have a loving family. Obviously there are risks with everything, but after already having such a scary & dangerous experience I think I would look at other ways to create a family. Your child(ren) need you to be safe!

Melanie - posted on 07/24/2010

I too had pre-ecclampsia for my first pregnancy, detected when i started feeling ill at 23 weeks and was rushed to the hospital where i was monitored, and at 24 weeks 4 days i also got full blown ecclampsia plus Hellp Syndrome, requiring an emergency c-section and being put on life support, our son was born weighing in at 1lbs 2oz, and sadly passed away after 9 wonderful days with us, and even though we mourned our little boy, we had been wanting to have a family for ages, and after discussing it with our doctors, we decided to go ahead and try for another baby, and i gave birth to our second son, one year later, and let me tell you, once something like pre-ecclampsia happens to you, you have doctors monitoring you every step of your pregnancy, and like my perinatologist said, it could happen again and then again it may not, it is up to the parents to decide if they are willing to go through it all, and being monitored so closely they know what to look for and although there isn't much they can do to stop pre-ecclampsia, they can at least slow idown its progress;as for us, i had no problems whatsoever with our second pregnancy, so the only thing i can tell you is think it through before going ahead with another pregnancy; every pregnancy is unique, it doesn't mean it will happen again and make sure you are mentally ready if you do decide to go ahead with another one, stress is no good for your blood pressure - god bless you and your family

Lacey - posted on 07/24/2010

Christie- I'm glad to hear they monitored you that closely. My mom did have severe Pre-eclamspia with my brother her 2nd child of 3. She had perfect pregnancies with me and my older sister.
We considered waiting till my daughter was older like around 3. But I think if I wait I will keep waiting and end up decided to never have another child. I don't see myself waiting that long. As horribly sick as I was during the pregnancy I absolutely LOVED it. I know it will be harder to be pregnant with a one year old. But my daughter is an amazingly happy baby and honestly she has never been much work. She is so easy to take care of and keep happy. Im sorry your not having much fun with your pregnancy LaToya. But I don't see us waiting that long. Honestly hearing everything you all had to say I think we will be trying for a baby very soon. After we talk to our Dr. of course..

LaToya - posted on 07/23/2010

I think you should still wait. I am 8 months pregnant now and it isn't really that much fun. My daughter is just learning to walk, she's still in diapers, and hasn't really gotten to enjoy being the baby. I wanted to wait but my husband was determined for me to be pregnant while he was in Afghanistan (don't know why) so we used no birth control. Wait until your baby is potty trained at least and just enjoy the one you have for now. Try for number 2 after your 14 month old is working on potty training and can understand that there is going to be a second baby in the house.

Christie - posted on 07/23/2010

I had my first child at 24 and had severe pre-e almost from the get-go of the pregnancy. By the 4th month, I had regular weekly visits to the doctor for regular monitoring. By month 7, I had daily visits to the hospital that included fetal heart monitoring for the baby, I had to collect every drop of pee to take up for protein tests and had to go on partial bed rest at 71/2 months, then complete bed rest at 8 months (excluding my daily visit to the dr/hosp). Everyday was a guessing game by me and the dr. as to "will she be born today?" By month 8, my daily visits included an ultrasound b/c the amnio fluid was so low, but the dr monitored everything, and wanted to keep me as healthy as possible but keep my baby girl in there to "cook" as long as possible and give her a fighting chance. Anyway, my beautiful 16 yr daughter was born right at 2 weeks early, induced, no c-section. Now, my 14 MONTH OLD son, his pregnancy was a piece of cake.....my dr was amazed how well this pregnancy went....no signs of pre-e, nothing. And, yes, the pre-e from my first DID influence my decision about having another child, thus, the 16 yr difference in my kids ages. I've always heard that pre-e runs in families and is more common for first pregnancies (and all the women in my family get it with just the first preg too). If you pray, I suggest that you pray about this....you'll get your answer.....I wish you the best in whatever your decision.

Lacey - posted on 07/23/2010

Thats how I feel, is it worth risking my life again for another baby? I don't know yet. But I am leaning towards taking the risk In hopes that monitoring my blood pressure everyday and watching any other symptoms will keep it from getting to the point of having seizures again. I have also considered adoption but my husband isn't so sure he wants to do that, even though in the future I would.

Jen - posted on 07/23/2010

Lacey, I am so glad to know you are well informed! Like your post said, I too (as well as my husband) would like another child but are very scared. For us the decision is if we risk my life to try for a second. I totally agree that it is a VERY personal decision. I wish you the best in whatever you may decide!

Amanda - posted on 07/23/2010

I have to agree with Jen. I had pre-eclampsia with my second child, my daughter. I had high blood pressure throughout the entire pregnancy and was put on bed rest for the last few weeks. I went through blood test after blood test, trips to the hospital for monitering, etc. I have never had high blood pressure in my life, including through the first pregnancy. I do need to mention that my first child was from a different partner.

There are studies that show that for whatever reason, when you become pregnant with specific partners, the DNA and proteins specific to that person, and the new embryo/fetus can be one of the factors that cause pre-eclampsia. It's more of an immune system response that causes high blood pressure, your body's inability to process and filter waste products, etc.

If you do not switch partners, count on pre-eclampsia or eclampsia again. The good news is that you are aware of the condition and can INSIST on monitoring and corrective steps being taken to ensure you don't have the same experience as the first time.

Personally, after talking about it with my husband, we've decided that if we want to have more children we will look into adoption.

Lacey - posted on 07/23/2010

Jen- I have been to the website before. I have been doing tons of research ever since that happened to me. I realize the only cure is a c-section, the only way to prevent eclampsia. But they said if I get pre-eclampsya again they may want to put me on bed rest at the hospital at 7 months or so. So there I would be monitored 24/7. Of course nobody wants to do that. But I don't want my fear and what happened to me before control my life and decisions. Having another baby is important to me and my husband. I am very scared but I want let that control me either. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I completely understand your fear of ever having another one. We all have to make that decision our self.
Kate- I'm sorry you had a bad experience as well. I'm glad you and your little girl are both doing good now.
Oh and I want everyone to understand I had elamspia which sometime follows pre-elampsia. They are 2 different problems but are connected.

Jen - posted on 07/23/2010

Kate, while I wish that to be true, many women go on to have pre-e again with the same partner. For those of us who had severe pre-e or HELLP, the chances of having pre-e in later pregnancies is much higher than for those with mild cases. Please get more information as it is not almost impossible - it is often later onset and less severe. Please check the forum at Preeclampsia.org to read about the MANY moms who had Pre-e with multiple pregnancies.

Kate - posted on 07/22/2010

Hello! I too had pre eclimsia, and although not as severe as you, fairly similiar birth story. My daughter is 14 months too! I stayed in hospital for 8 days and many doctors assured me that it is almost impossible for this to happen next pregnancy, unless I change partners! they also said they don't know why, but that's the chances!! I was assured many times I would be safe, if I don't change partners!!

Jen - posted on 07/22/2010

Please think carefully about any doctor who said they would "do what they could so you don't get it again." Not only is there no cure for Preeclampsia, but there is no known cause. There is NOTHING that can be done to prevent it. There are ways to treat pre-e to extend gestation to give the baby a better chance, but there are no known preventions. Please visit Preeclampsia.org. This is a fantastic website with lots of info and a great forum. I had HELLP Syndrome with my son. While this is what untreated pre-e leads to in some women, I never developed pre-e and went straight to class I HELLP. I also struggle with the decision about more children. When people ask "when is the next one" and I reply that there may not be a next one, everyone seems to have all the answers about how the doctors will watch me closer next time. They can watch me all they want, but it will not prevent pre-e or HELLP and because mine was a rapid onset (within 24 hours) you can't expect to run blood work every 24 hours for a pregnancy. Check out Preeclampsia.org - it is a great resource and I know that there are other women who have survived eclampsia posting on the forum. Best wishes for a safe decision, no matter what you may choose to do!

Lacey - posted on 07/22/2010

Well according to the Dr. and nurses that delivered my daughter they said my chances of having pre-eclapsia again are higher then normal. But they would do what they could to make sure I didn't get eclampsia again. But yes there our a lot of women who have pre-eclampsia with one but are perfectly fine with other others. But you cant help but worry. Oh and I definitely talked to the Drs. about my symptoms and concerns during the pregnancy and they kept telling me oh its because of this or that. And I trusted they knew better then I did because Hey there Drs. I have talked to a lot of women who have had pre-eclampsia but haven't met anyone who had eclampsia. It would be nice to meet someone who had the same experience I did.

Emily - posted on 07/22/2010

my mother had pre-eclampsia when she was pregnant with me and i had early signs of it with mine, who his now 13mo old. My mother went on to have another healthy baby with no signs of pre-eclampsia. I would say that now that you know the signs, if your doctor doesn't mention anything, you should speak up. they can put you on bed rest at home or at the hospital. but i think the chances of you having pre-eclampsia again are pretty low.

Lacey - posted on 07/22/2010

Thanks Ladies. I guess for me my concern is that despite that I had a lot of symptoms for severe pre-eclapsia. I never actually had high blood pressure until the day I had my daughter. So I am afraid even being monitored all the time I might still miss my blood pressure being that high again. Because it was high only that one day, it was amazingly high though. But I realize with being watched closely the chances of it being that bad again is unlikely. Thank you though that makes me feel better about my decision to have another one anyway. I'm sorry some of you had bad experiences as well.

Misty - posted on 07/21/2010

I also had an emergency c-section due to pre eclampsia and I want another baby to but i to am very scared of what the outcome might be. My son is 14 months and i don't regret having to go through all the stuff i had to endure but i am not sure if i am ready to go through it again yet. I want to go see my doctor and discuss it with her before i make a serious decision. While i was pregnant with my son i looked pre eclampsia up on the internet and one of the pages that i came across said that alot of first time moms get pre eclampsia and go on to have perfectly normal pregnancies afterward. So really it is your decision.Just make sure you are prepared for what can happen. I wish you the best.

Courtney - posted on 07/20/2010

Now that you know the signs of your condition you can prevent an experience like that from occurring again. I had an emergency c-section with my first also and was just terrified. My second pregnancy I decided to schedule a c-section to have a situation I can have better control and more preparation for...I had severe back labor and went into labor 2 days before my scheduled c-section but was sent home to labor. Most hospitals don't want to keep you unless your going to start some action or your water has broken. The night before my surgery I was admitted and slept in a labor room with the WORST pain I have felt in my life. After describing it to nursing staff they acted as if it was normal what I was experiencing and ignored my symptoms until my surgery the following morning. During my surgery it was discovered that my baby was in position too far down the birth canal and was position awkwardly to have a normal c-section delivery. After a very bloody process of rib rib fracturing and vaccuming my son's head, he was finally delivered.
Bottom line is this. You may or may not have another freaky delivery, anything can happen. But you know your body better than anyone else and now that you've experienced it once before, you know what to expect. Just MAKE SURE you're concerns are voiced and addressed. Too many first time moms let things slide because they aren't sure what to expect but don't realize they can help prevent their own experiences from being poor by doing what they must to have their issues taken seriously.
I encourage you to try for that second baby. Looking back on my own horrible experiences, I wouldn't have changed a thing because my family is richer now that it is complete!

Shelby - posted on 07/19/2010

Also, I found this website a few months ago as I am actually worried about the increased risk of heart disease after having pre-eclampsia. Maybe it can help answer some questions for you. http://www.preeclampsia.org/

Shelby - posted on 07/19/2010

I think knowing what to look for will keep anything from happening. I had pre-eclampsia as well, but never had the seizures. My twins were born early though via c-section and I was on Mag afterward for fear of seizures. I too am a bit scared of the risks, but I am actually more scared of having twins again. :-) I think you would be fine. But trust your gut and get a blood pressure thing for you to use at home. This way you can monitor yourself. And there is that old saying, that "what is meant to be, will be." Do what you feel is right and what is meant to happen will. Good luck!

Rebekah - posted on 07/18/2010

I have not had preelampsia or a c-section, but my mom did. She also went undiagnosed and delivered me vaginally at 34 weeks before going unconscious and nearly having a stroke. She went on to deliver two other healthy, full-term babies vaginally without a problem at all. She did not have to have a c-section, so its not entirely the same case, but after her first, she did not have the preeclampsia again.

Lacey - posted on 07/18/2010

Well right after I had her they said I am more likely to get pre-elamspia with another pregnancy then other women. But that I would be monitored very closely and probably put on bed rest pretty early possibly at the hospital if I do have pre-eclamsia again. I'm definitely worried to have another one this soon. But I also have a good chance of not getting sick at all. So I cant let being scared keep me from having a baby.

Olleka - posted on 07/18/2010

I'm on baby no2 due end of Aug after a c section with my daughter who was born May 11th. The only concern my doctors had is how many children i wanted to have as i'm likely to have another c section. If your doctors have no concerns and you feel ready i say go for it! However, personally your case would have put me off for a long time. Good luck and all the best!