First Time Mum - Glimpse into Motherhood

Kathryn - posted on 07/12/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Well this is my first child and she was born 13th May 2009. I must say that it took me totally by suprise. I had studied books, listened to audio cds, bought baby language cds, watched videos you name it just to prepare myself! It totally threw my world around and even two months on I am still finding my feet. I cannot believe these fingers that can barely wrap around one of mine has such a grip on my world. Control? Ha! You cannot control them, they come with no instructions, adult supervison and you dont need experience but it is the hardest job in the world. It can also be very lonely, there is such judgement placed on mothers. Yes you are the builder of this generation of mankind, it is the most important job in the world. What blows me away is opinions that are not asked for or needed are thrown at a poor frazzled mother who in the first few weeks can only memorise number of scoops for the bottle or which side she last fed on or another trip into town for more nappies. Mothers need support more than anything, so what if they are doing something 'wrong' in your opinion. Mothers/Fathers/Carer who ever is looking after the child needs time where they each learn about each other and their language. Just because you have a child does not make you an expert. Stay steadfast in your beliefs but dont try and force that onto everyone else. I am always open to other peoples ideas, but to receive advice on how to burp a baby from a father who has never had any involvement in his childrens lives let alone change a nappy or burp a child has me balking. Is this for real? I would love to hear from other mums/moms and what their first insight into motherhood, whether this is their first or tenth child.



Kat and Nevaeh aka 'Prawn'

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Meaghan - posted on 09/18/2009

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I completely agree with you. My son was born May 20th, he is my first child. I swear you can prepare as much as you want but there is nothing like actually doing it. It is the hardest job you will ever love.
The advice comes right after he is born! Some people told me to follow "mother's advice" and actually ignore doctors. Yeah, I listen to the doctor but what I have learned so far and this is the only thing I am certain of in this crazy new world of being a Mom is that: Everyone has an opinion, but there is no right or wrong way to raise your child as long as you have the complete best interest of your child in mind, things will work out.
The pressure of being a mother is intense, from expectations of the outside world to your own. I choose to stay home with my son, my husband works, some people judge some people roll their eyes as if I am being lazy. There is nothing even remotely lazy about 24/7 caring for someone else. Then on top of all that pressure people still ask why you haven't lost the baby weight!!
My son was 10lbs at birth and 18lbs by his 9 week appointment, he is 28inches long. So people ask me why isn't he standing or walking yet, he's only 17weeks old! They expect more because he is bigger and look at me as if I am doing something wrong lol.
But all my complaining and ranting aside, I absolutely love being a Mom I don't miss anything about my "previous" life except maybe sleep, having the option of sleeping in was nice haha.
Also I give so many props to parent's of multiples and single parents, it is so hard with one I can't even imagine. I also couldn't imagine what I would do if after my husband gets home from work I couldn't just pass my baby to him and take 20 minutes to myself and just breathe.
Mommy's rule!

[deleted account]

Hi Kathryn,
Congratulations on your baby girl!!
I think most mothers experience the same thing whether you have 1 or 12 kids... This unwanted / un needed advice and most often judgement is a horrible part of being a mum. We should all be supporting each other and offering advice when asked but only to try and make life easier.
As a mum you have so many different roles to play... teacher, cleaner, wife, doctor... the list goes on!
All i can say to you is; stay strong in who you are, know that you are doing the best you can and you are a wonderful mother! your daughter needs you and loves you.
If you need advice, i would go to the professionals - in australia we have karitane / tresillian that give advice for mums on many different facets of raising children especially the first year. This way when some know it all judges or pushes advice onto you, you can tell them that the professionals have given you different advice.
This is what i did when it sounded like people were being judgmental or pushy and it worked for me. also all children are different so milestones are only a guide, if your child hasnt hit one, then chances are they have hit another in a different area and will catch up on the other in their own time.
enjoy your experience and shake off those annoying ones!
take care of yourself.

Kristy - posted on 08/07/2009

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I totally agree with you even with my second one I still had mother in law, grandma, strangers etc Throwing their 2 cents in on raising my sons. Ive always stuck to my guns and did what I thought was right they had their turn now I get mine :)

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