terrible 2's and horrific tantrums

Tammer - posted on 08/28/2012

My daughter does that a LOT lately. Especially when we try to get her to do things ie pick up toys, throw stuff away, eat. etc etc. We end up putting her in time out and just have her go in her room. It is super frustrating! Good luck!

Samantha - posted on 05/05/2012

hi, yes my daughter is at her terrible 2's too and all i can say is leave them alone or walk away cause they dont know what to do when your not there right by them and then they will go back to you with no tantrums bt maybe a few cries and then talk to them. i mean thats idea i use with my daughter cause she has bad tantrums bt every child is different so i wish you the best

samantha

Irene - posted on 03/30/2012

Hi Schelene, sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time! I know when my daughter is upset like this I many times feel helpless too and cry :-( I find this subject hard to navigate. I can see where ignoring would help in some situations, but I think a lot of times it doesn't. I really believe at this age that they have their tantrums because a need of theirs isn't being met. Maybe it is just to have more attention, which is not a bad thing. Maybe he's tired, overstimulated, hungry or thirsty. At this age, although they start talking, it is still difficult for them to communicate what they're feeling, so naturally they become frustrated - I would too!



What I personally try to do is stay with my daughter, even hold her (if she lets me) until she calms down, then try to verbalize for her what i think she may be feeling. This has helped her learn new words and more and more she is able to tell me herself how she is feeling. Then after we talk about whatever is bothering her, I help her move on to another activity and she is golden. It sure isn't easy though, and sometimes she doesn't want to be comforted - but I still let her know that I'm here if she wants me. Of course, if she hits me in her frustration, I am more firm with her and tell her that we don't hit. If throwing the toys becomes a hazard for your boy or for others, of course you will need to talk to him about that, but not in the middle of his tantrum :-)



Lastly, remember that our kids are a mirror of ourselves. When my girl is upset, I try to think about what energy I'm emulating in the moment. Doesn't matter much what I say or how I try to act, she knows how I'm really feeling and is totally attune to my energy! Of course we can't expect ourselves to be perfectly happy all the time - that would be wonderful but plain unrealistic! Point is, when I'm feeling low or stressed, she mirrors that energy right back at me with her tantrums, even when I'm not fully self-aware!



Sorry for the long winded answer here - this has just been my experience and approach that may or may not work for you. Follow your gut and what feels right as his mommy - I know you may have trouble believing it sometimes (I know I have trouble believing at times for myself), but as his mommy you know what's best for him!



All the best, Irene

Brittney - posted on 03/01/2012

ignoring temper tantrums is the best way to get them to stop, if you start to talk to him he gets attention and continues to tantrum to get attention.