Pregnancies close together, Advice/Reassurance

Karen - posted on 06/25/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am 27 years old, have been married for 4 years and have a 13month old son. My husband and I originally wanted 2-3 children and relatively close together (he is 33). Sounded great at first, but now that my son is 13 months old and I've been a stay at home mom all this time, I'm not so sure I can handle another baby, at least not right now. However, I'm about 95% sure I'm pregnant as I am typing this. I am not due for a period for a couple more days and I am terrified to take a test. I'm not sure which answer I want to see, + or -. I'm not sure how I feel about either one, but I feel like I should be excited, and I'm not. All I keep thinking is "Oh, God, I can't handle another baby right now." I don't know how to say any of this to my husband, because he Does want another baby, the sooner the better as far as he is concerned. I just have all these doubts about my ability to handle two children. Giving them both the attention they deserve. I think I just need some reassurance from other moms who have maybe felt the way I'm feeling. By the way, the reasons I think I'm pregnant again are from a Major increase in frequency of bathroom trips (about 3 an Hour!) Nausea all day, especially if I'm hungry at all. Major fatigue, (though I did start treatment about 5 weeks ago for hypothyroidism, I've always been tired, but the treatment is supposed to fix that, not make it worse, and there are no known side effects to my medication and it is safe during pregnancy.) And I'm hungry. A lot more than normal, I find my self wanting to snack all day, but nothing really sounds good. All of these (except the nausea) I experienced with my son before I knew I was pregnant with him. I'm just so scared that I can't be a good mom to more than one child. Anyone ever felt this way? I hope I'm not the only one.

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AMANDA - posted on 06/30/2012

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a positive is a positive no matter who you ask.. so a big congrats to you and your hubby! good luck with the new pregnancy!

i took a test the day my period was due and it was neg but still no period so now i just have no idea.. monday cant come soon enough for me cause i hate the not knowing

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Karen - posted on 07/08/2012

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Well, apparently the medication I'm on can mess with a woman's cycle and cause a false positive pregnancy test. I did end up starting a period but a week later than it should have been. The doc said that until my hormone levels are where they should be with the Synthroid (I have an underactive thyroid), that this late or even missed cycle can happen. This could go on for Months until my hormone levels are regulated. So I am NOT pregnant and there is No evidence of a miscarriage. This did get my husband and I talking, and we are on the same page now. It also made me face some fears and do some thinking on the subject. We have agreed that once my thyroid levels are stable that we will try for another baby.

Ashley - posted on 07/08/2012

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KE a breaAkTMy girls are 13m and 2 1/2. I found out I was pregnant with my youngest 2weeks after her 1st birthday. I felt the same way you did. It was a little tricky at 1st having a newborn and a 1 yr old running around (especially when I went back to work because I worked a lot of 3rd shift and the kids would always nap at different times.) But my 1yr old was great with the baby. She felt like such a big girl because she helped mommy throw away dirty diapers and clean up toys. Eventually, we got into the swing of things after she started sleeping through the night. (Which meant igot to sleep too!) Just remember its ok to take a break from the kids and have a night to yourself every once in awhile.

Elisabeth - posted on 07/05/2012

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Hey there! I didn't take the time to read through the other posts, primarily because I have two that are 14 months apart. What you are feeling is complelty normal, for me it was the same. Trust in yourself and give yourself more credit, you can do it! My second was a surprise and honestly the best thing ever! You will love and do what mothers need to do. Your first will be so glad to have a place as a helper and friend to play with. Loving them seperate but equal comes automatic. I think you are more nervoused and scared. I know I was...I didn't take a test until I was almost 7 weeks along and then I cried as I looked at my 5 month old that I was just starting to figure out. Now, they keep me and each other centered. You can do it. You are a mother already, this just adds to it. The fear stayed with me until my second arrived and then it all fell in to place. I don't have family near, or friends close by that were not working for that matter, but Baby Einstein videos rock! You can do this! Congratulations! Hope that helps!

AMANDA - posted on 07/03/2012

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im sorry to hear that karen. sounds like maybe you had an early miscarriage.. but dont get discouraged.. everything could be completely normal still.. i hope it all works out for the best..

my urine preg test was neg and i had them run a blood one to be 100% sure. guess i have a few other issues going on right now so it explains why i have been feeling like crap.

Karen - posted on 07/03/2012

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Been spotting a little bit and now the test is clearly negative. I'm a bit confused. Going to the doc on Friday.

Alexandra - posted on 07/02/2012

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congratulations!
Don't worry about it. Here is what is going on with us:
the first two are 14 months apart, the next ones are 16 months apart, and now due in december, they will be 18 or 19 months apart. So, your babies are not as close as you think.
And it is wonderful to have babies this close, in my opinion.
Now, what your husband wants and what you want might be a different story. Remember it is your body and you are the one with the babies all day.
I am sure you will be fine. As another mother said, you have 9 months to prepare. A new baby is always scary anyway.
I would suggest you go to your doctor and do a blood test to be sure. Why would you want to wait? You either are or are not, it is better to know for sure, no?
Congratulations, so happy for you.

Merry - posted on 06/30/2012

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Congratulations!!!
A faint positive is positive in my mind!
You are excited deep down for sure :) and you'll do great with two! It's hard at first but so worth the adjustment time.

Karen - posted on 06/30/2012

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I took a test, it was a Faint positive. That was two days ago. I am now two days "late." Giving it a week before I test again. I'm a bit scared to death, but find myself hoping I don't get my period. That must mean I want this deep down even though I'm scared.

Merry - posted on 06/30/2012

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You sound very normal :) I think we all have fears about having babies and especially the second baby I think is scary. We are trying to conceive our third now, our first two are two years apart and we hope for the same gap again

It's fun and exciting and scary all at once! But I think in the end we always make it work and we will love our family no matter how it turns out

AMANDA - posted on 06/28/2012

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i am right in the same boat as you.. i too am 27 and i have been married for 5 years. i have 13 month old b/g twins and i was expecting back in February but i ended up losing the pregnancy.. at first i was terrified and then after talking to my hubby we had adjusted to the idea of a 3rd child.. now a few months down the road im starting to think i may also be expecting once again.. i did take a test and it said neg but i have all the signs i had with all 3 pregnancies i have had so i made an appt to go see my obgyn on Monday afternoon to find out whats going on for sure.. not sure how we would handle it but i know that having two babies at once can be a challenge but its soo worth it. i try to split my time between them and i also try to do stuff with both at the same time

like Martha said you have 9 months to prepare and by that time your 13 month old will be nearly 2 and a bit more independent then he is now. everyone just has to figure out what works best for them and their houses schedule.. im sure if you are pregnant you will be excited after the initial shock and panic wears off. just know you arent alone and im sure from the sounds of it your hubby will be supportive of you. good luck and keep us posted!

Martha - posted on 06/26/2012

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I can just touch on the babies close together....It might seem overwhelming now..but if you plan/prepare for it as you go along...to me that is where the 9 mo preg. comes into play! I got preg. at 12 1/2 mos (my first son) and they are 21 mo apart..and then when my second son was 6 1/2 mo old/7mo old..I got preg. with my 3rd son...so they will be 16 mo apart.....I hope that helps....it is scary and it takes time to adjust...but 1 to 2 is a little shocking to me..but not too much and 2 to 3 is going to be a challenge...anyways...I hope you feel encouraged that there are plenty of other mommies who do it and YOU CAN TOO!

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