Sex at the end of pregnancy

Merry - posted on 04/15/2011 ( 49 moms have responded )

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So my husband matt thinks that it's logical to have sex a ton now right before Fierna is born because we will have to not do it for 6 weeks after she is born.
I feel like umm no! I'd rather not have sex now, I'd maybe be ok with once or twice a week but he's asking like every other day!

How are your hubby's doing? Anyone actually want to have sex this late on?

And what positions work for you guys! Nothing is comfortable for me and I just try to not let him see I'm thinking about how long til it's over.
2 nd trimester I was quite horny, but now, it's gone!

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Jen - posted on 04/18/2011

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When I was pregnant with my daughter we stopped having sex like a month and a half or so before hand. He didn't want to and I kinda wanted to, but I wasn't super horny like earlier on in the pregnancy.

Now we are still having sex, but it's not like either of us are jumping on the other b/c we're super horny. lol. It's more of a "if the opportunity presents itself go for it" type thing. I did mention how we should get it out of our system now since it will be 6 weeks after the birth until we can again. With my daughter we didn't make it to the 6 week mark. We made it to 4 and I made him make sure my stitches were gone and I made him pull out before hand.

As far as positions go, it's pretty complicated. I prefer to be on top, but obviously I'm too heavy for him and it's a lot of work. lol. Usually hanging off the bed on my back with him standing up works pretty good.

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Kristian Hope - posted on 03/01/2013

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I am 35 weeks with baby # 1 and all through the pregnancy (even through being diagnosed with HG) we still had sex and it was great!. Now, I feel like something is wrong with me because I am still H**** but when my other half wants sex, I almost cringe and he's done nothing to make me feel that way...I feel so guilty :(

Michelle - posted on 04/19/2011

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Man to young again like alot of you are. I will be turning 35 in July this year and expecting end of May with #6. Even though I had #5 last year in March I am feeling it more than ever with this last pregnancy. I definitely feel old cause I am more than ever feeling the aches and pains than ever.
I just need to hold out for 2 more weeks then it should be okay for this new little guy to be born. That will make 1 girl and 5 boys with my oldest being 9 yrs old, next is 7, 5, 3 and my last one turned 1 in March.
It definitely is hard to have sex without interruption from all the kids. Majority of the time we have it in the middle of the night which is not working out sooo well for me now that I am getting closer to the due date.
I had to tell my hubby that with dealing with having to pee 10 million times at night, acid reflux acting up during the night and our 1 yr old waking up I have to get whatever sleep I can. Plus it is getting sooo difficult for me to move at all due to pain that we are not doing it as much right now.
All I can think of is get through the next 2 wks as fast as possible and getting labor started so I can have this baby.
Definitely a huge difference from when I had my 1st child 9 yrs ago to now. Definitely feeling my age : )

Shannon - posted on 04/19/2011

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Hi Laura, I am a mum of 5 boys and most times i was tired and i didn't feel like fooling around and most times i still don't. but when i was prego and at the end of the pregnancy i didn't want to but they say if you do you can start the labour process which i couldn't wait for casue at the end you just want the baby out. I didn't find there was any confortable position either, i'm not a person who likes to talk about sex but for me especially when I don't want to, I don't know if this would work for you but if you lay on your most confortable side and he curls up beside you and you lean forward and he comes upward behind you, you can be confortable and he can do what he needs to.i know sound not to romantic but it will make it more confotable for you and he can't complain he's not getting any. it could work for the both of you. worth a try. not my favorite topic but i hope it helps. May hubby and I never waited the full 6 weeks anyway thats how we had so many lol but all worth it.

Shannon - posted on 04/19/2011

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Hi Laura, I am a mum of 5 boys and most times i was tired and i didn't feel like fooling around and most times i still don't. but when i was prego and at the end of the pregnancy i didn't want to but they say if you do you can start the labour process which i couldn't wait for casue at the end you just want the baby out. I didn't find there was any confortable position either, i'm not a person who likes to talk about sex but for me especially when I don't want to, I don't know if this would work for you but if you lay on your most confortable side and he curls up beside you and you lean forward and he comes upward behind you, you can be confortable and he can do what he needs to.i know sound not to romantic but it will make it more confotable for you and he can't complain he's not getting any. it could work for the both of you. worth a try. not my favorite topic but i hope it helps. May hubby and I never waited the full 6 weeks anyway thats how we had so many lol but all worth it.

Merry - posted on 04/19/2011

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It's a race ianina! I've got 12 days til my due date, but I could go late.....interesting to see whose daughter(s) come out first!

Ianina - posted on 04/19/2011

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Laura....ROFL
If he puts a hand on me, he gets horny...so no.Only when I'm in a lot of pain he rubs my back....

14 days to go for me :)

Jennifer - posted on 04/19/2011

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Shoot we made it to like 8 weeks last time. I had a bad tear and it hurt SO BAD and took FOREVER to heal (she didn't do the stiches correctly at first)...so it was 6 weeks before I even felt like doing it and another 2 before I was ready haha.

Merry - posted on 04/19/2011

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Ianina, I actually ment matt give me the hj! Lol, I used to be able to do it for myself, but now oddly enough I can't do it as good as he does or something, so it's sort of our give and take, he does that for me Forster, then we have sex after for him! But I think he enjoys both parts equally :P

Oh yeah, we didn't lake it to 6 weeks last time, well it was close but we were like 4 days early, I was so worried my dr would be able to tell with my exam that we had done it! Lol idk if they can tell that but I didn't want to get scolded.

Ianina, you have twins, and you are a super tiny lady so I can totally understand being too uncomfy for sex. I don't think that's unusual. Does Sean give you massages? He shoulld be!

Ianina - posted on 04/18/2011

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wow, you girls are making me feel OLD! I'm 29 and Sean is 36. This are our first (and second) kids. We are not married yet but I'm pretty sure we will someday...not that I'm too worried about it.

As far as sex goes...just like Laura I rather give myself a hj than actually having sex. I'm not attracted to him right now but I think is mostly because 95% of the time I'm in pain or uncomfortable and not a happy camper...oh well. Ah, and I want my body back!! I'm HUGE and is hard to move.
Not to mention I can't stop thinking about the girls moving inside me and is hard to be in the mood...
As far as positions, I just lay there like a dead fish...J/K
Spooning is better for me but last time he was on top and it was kinda weird and not so comfy...
2 weeks for me, 15 days and counting :)

Corrie - posted on 04/18/2011

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I'm in total agreement. I always wanted mine young, I knew i wanted 3 before 25, obviously things change and when you have one, you sometimes think "never again"!! But i still want a third before i hit the big 30. It means when my children are old enough to look after themselves, i'll still be young enough to go out and go on holidays and work and i'll be a young grandmother who can do things with my grandchildren.
I have time to create a career while my children grow, i've already gotten 15 qualifications since i got pregnant with Sam and i have a plan for the future.
Sex is just part of a relationship. To me it's something that we enjoy but it certainly isn't the most important thing.

Jennifer - posted on 04/17/2011

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Pretty much the same situation for us then! My mom has watched Tucker maybe 5 times total as well. It really bugs me when parents leave their children constantly to go out and such.

Choly - posted on 04/17/2011

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With our first daughter it was always him bugging me.. now I am the one bugging him with this one lol

Merry - posted on 04/17/2011

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I always wanted to do it young, I felt like the best years of my life will be when we are having our babies so I wanted to get on it! I don't miss being singel cuz we married so young, and we barely miss being a twosome because it was only a year. So Im glad we did it this way, and I have a few friends who waited a long time to have kids and they say I'm lucky I'm not wishing I was able to party etc. It's alot of work, but I think our young brains can adapt easily!
We also don't do babysitters, grandma has watched Eric about 5 times so far so matt and I could go see a movie in theaters, but I'm glad Eric is with me all the time! We are thinking on co sleeping until about 2, or sooner if she starts showing signs of being ok with moc
Vine into her own bed. I'm totally not a CIO mom, and so I'm aware she could be in with us for a while, and I think we will just see how it goes and change if necessary :)

Jennifer - posted on 04/17/2011

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Both of our children were planned. No "accidents" or "surprises" with either. I am SO SO GLAD that we had them so young. Of course, I don't know different either. But I have never wished I would of done things differently or regreted it in any way. I don't miss going out or to the bar or anything. We don't get babysitters for our children (we didn't have kids for someone else to raise or help raise) and do everything ourselves. A lot of our friends our age have children and a lot of them are married as well. We definitely weren't each other's firsts but niether of us were "whores" either lol. And I also married at 19. I LOVE that we did it like we have/are doing it. No regrets at all!!!
As for co-sleeping and sex life...our plan is to start her off co-sleeping and by a year have her in her own bed. I want her to sleep with us but be able to sleep on her own in her own bed as well. Not dependent on us being RIGHT THERE. Our son was in his crib and sleeping thru the night by 3 months...lucked out with him..doubt that'll happen twice haha.
But yes, I am very very very happy that we had/are having them so young :-) You?

Merry - posted on 04/17/2011

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We married at 18 and 19, Eric was born we were 20 and 21, and now we are 22 and 23. We both were each others first everything's! So we don't know any different, but it's always been obvious since erics born that my sex drive is alot less. I think before Eric we were pretty equal, but I
was usually in the mood mornings only, so baby changed all that! And now with us planning on Fierna co sleeping who knows how much we will get to, but I've heard co sleeping helps mom get more quality sleep so maybe if I'm more rested I'll be in the mood more.
Do you guys like having kids so young? I do, I mean I don't know different, but we consciously wanted to start young, and I am liking it so far.I feel like we never got comfortable as just the two of us, so we don't know what we are 'missing' lol :)

Jennifer - posted on 04/17/2011

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Yeah I had baby #1 at 19, now baby #2 at barely 22. So I feel ya lol. He just turned 25. Funny how things work out :)

Corrie - posted on 04/17/2011

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I'm 22 and he's 21 and we never go a day without mentioning it. I've been pregnant or breast feeding or had a small baby for the better part of 3 years now and as you'll possibly know, for the first 6 months you're so on edge and learning, that it's hard to be comfortable and NOT exhausted. Mabe after LO 2 is born, we'll go back to what we were, but when i got pregnant the first time (conceived at 20, now 22) we'd only been together 4 months so we were still very lustful! The strange thing is, i have a much higher sex drive, more diverse tastes and have had a larger number of partners, but its me now who wants to NOT do it, and if we do, i want it to be simple and quick and easy. Usually missionary or spooning, nothing wild. OBVIOUSLY right now i'm pregnant, but even before we conceived LO 2 i found i was lacking in the exitment department. Between the birth of 1 and now (aka, the impending birth of 2) we only did it once a week at most. Not that i didnt find him attractive, or wanted anyone else!! It's just how it was/is.
I'd suggest to any mommas that feel like me that OTHER means of sex are a good idea... Hands and mouths (aka mutual masturbation, oral) for both, massages, baths, stripteases, dressing up. For some it's mild or HEAVY SnM but whatever you find works now, or after, remember this is your time, and what you choose is most important.

Jennifer - posted on 04/17/2011

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Early 20s for us too...I'm not gonna lie, while I turn him down quite a bit, I hope nothing changes anytime soon lol

Merry - posted on 04/17/2011

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Goofy and horny :) I guess early twenties is sort of the peak of men's sex drive, but when you have kids that sort of gets in the way!

Merry - posted on 04/16/2011

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When we first found out we had a girl matt said he wouldn't have sex with me until she was born because he wouldn't have his penis so close to his daughter! Lol I doubted it at the time, but he managed to not ask for a whopping 6 days! Lol.

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2011

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Well that puts me somewhere in between Laura and Amanda. Certainly not daily or every other day...but at least 2 times a week. It is much harder with a child that is understanding things now. Noise levels, timing, etc has to be carefully considered always..which isn't exactly romantic...but I guess that's part of parenting and we just adjusted :)
But like Laura...sex is great, but even better for me is the parts leading up to sex lol. Still possible for us now...just carefully haha. And once again..feeling her head freaks Zeke out so its becoming pretty rare, which is ok too...for now. haha

Merry - posted on 04/16/2011

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Oh and my sex drive is awful, I rarely want it, like once a month I'll have a sex dream and wake up in the mood. But with Eric now it's almost impossible to have morning sex so it's frustrating. And probably too much info but I'm not really craving sex as in intercourse, I usually just want a hj :) that's my fav, and it's the only way I really get totally in the mood, but it is usually a very very powerful time, and I don't feel comfortable doing it this late in pregnancy because I tend to tighten up a ton and even hold my breath. And that could make baby lose oxygen, oh and I'm usually on my back which I shouldn't be either' so my pleasure is on hold til the end now, I'm just not ok with 'risking' it this late in.

Merry - posted on 04/16/2011

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Those hiccups do get annoying sometimes! First time I was like aww this is so cute! Now it's like, 'please hunny, I'm trying to think! Can't you knock it off sometimes!'
Last night I was almost asleep and I sneezed really loudly and my whole body flailed, well the same second I sneezed Fierna started hiccuping! I think I scared her :( poor baby scared before she is even born!

AMANDA - posted on 04/16/2011

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for me ive wanted sex quite a bit but through out my entire pregnancy its been sometimes restricted by my doctors though. my first trimester i wasnt allowed then from about week 15 till about week 28 it was on and off that we were allowed to and now we are back to not being allowed to again cause it started putting me into preterm labor.. we are not allowed to have sex until after the 36 week mark with the twins per doctors orders.. after that they said go for it as much as you want just as long as i want to not just the hubby wants too..

we normally (not pregnant) have sex every day to every other day just cause we both have very active sex drives so its been hard for both of us with me being pregnant with twins.. he gets really cranky and bitchy and so do i when its been to long with out having sex... its hard to get comfy and sometimes what finally works for me position wise doesnt for him and i just tell him its my way or he gets nothing.. haha so i really cant wait until the babies are born and im healed up so we can get things back to normal.. i feel like we have lost so much intimacy and closeness since being pregnant cause of the lack of sex and the fact he has been on the couch since november.. horray for only about 3-4 weeks left to go!!!!!!

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2011

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I so agree! Everytime my belly gets "squished" (not really squished but comes between us), she moves, I have a contraction in the middle of it all, etc etc etc...makes it so hard to remain "in the mood" Plus she is SO LOW that you can feel her head literally right inside me...how does that NOT turn you off!? lol

Corrie - posted on 04/16/2011

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Mine didn't move for 15 minutes afterwards... and my tummy was soft, which it never is, but he's been fine today. Hiccuping constantly. Doesn't help my mood....

Merry - posted on 04/16/2011

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I think if I could get comfy enough to really relax I would enjoy it still, but I'm always worrying about cramping up, or the belly gets in the way, or my hips or back hurts. It's more thought out then I'd prefer and I also don't like how constantly I'm thinking of our baby while having sex! She is always on my mind, but it's quite the turn off while having sex :/

Corrie - posted on 04/16/2011

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I imagine with all the increased blood flow and nerve stimulation there'd be a few women who would enjoy it! I mean, i know the baby occasionally kicks me in a certain way that makes me blush so i don't imagine sex would be hugely dissapointing for everyone! lol. I personally didn't HATE it last night, but it wasn't as good as it could have been even for being heavily pregnant because i was just too wound up. He was lovely though.
I did feel like i owed him....
Sigh!

Merry - posted on 04/16/2011

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Lol, at least they know how lucky they are when we put forth the effort. I wonder though if they actually think we enjoy it right one....? Hmm I wouldn't want to say I'm not enjoying it, but honestly it's all effort for his sake!

Corrie - posted on 04/16/2011

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It's me that gives the massages here, in exchange for a back tickle and a cuppa in the morning xD!!
Oral is a treat for him like with you Laura, and to be honest, with the way taste buds are during pregnancy, i wouldn't risk it anyway..... As for me? I'd rather he wasn't down there at all, but if he has to be, it's got to be as impersonal as possible at this point.
After my last post, you must have got me thinking, cos last night i took one for the team, and though slightly regretting it today, have a much happier man!!! It's amazing how bouncy and lively they are when you put out at this stage..... Maybe it's the impending "6 week ban" or something......

Michelle - posted on 04/16/2011

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I'm with you on that. There are times I don't even want my hubby to touch me. I am sooo uncomfortable and he is understanding. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now!

Merry - posted on 04/16/2011

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I'll be sure to tell matt that! Lol he better feel lucky, it's not exactly something I enjoy, but he does give awsome full body massages in exchange :)

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2011

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hahaha. Well then I guess Matt should consider himself lucky because Zeke NEVER gets oral :) lol

Merry - posted on 04/15/2011

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Im going to tell matt that he's lucky I ever do oral cuz there's some guys who never get it! He should appreciate my efforts :) but I have rules, he has to be literally right out of the shower, and I have to be not sick and not pregnant. It's more of a birthday or anniversary sort of treat. :)

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2011

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I NEVER do oral here so I feel what you girls mean haha.
And yes..its a wonderful feeling. We all must have some pretty wonderful guys (most of the time ;)) lol

Merry - posted on 04/15/2011

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Yeah I also feel great that he is still turned on by me! He actually seems to find me just as sexy now as when was a skinny thing!

Michelle - posted on 04/15/2011

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Mine would love to have it every day, he seems to be content with every other day or sometimes going two days between, I personally can't wait till baby is born and I get a 6 week respite. When I actually have the energy to do so I get on all 4s which is easier on me, but usually I am so tired I lay on my back and he has to do all the shoulder work to try not to squish the belly :-) He lets me know he's been taking care of himself so he doesn't have to bother me as much, how sweet :-P I never got horny this pregnancy, much to his disappointment, but it does make me feel great that I still am sexy to him, 9 months pregnant and all :-)

Ianina - posted on 04/15/2011

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yeah, that boat sailed away when I was having morning sickness and never came back to shore...hahaha

Merry - posted on 04/15/2011

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Lol I'm in the handy boat too! Lol he was surprised when I said I preferred ts over sex while pregnant. I'm like,well duh! I just get to sit here and no clean up!
But matt would adore if I'd jump in the oral boat. But now, and always it's not my thing and it's only a chance if I'm feeling very generous :)

Ianina - posted on 04/15/2011

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hahahahahahaah
we are all in the same bote apparently...we should call it "the handy boat"

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2011

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I feel SO unattractive too...but like Laura..I have a hard time saying no. And normally the hubby is NOT attracted to pregnant me at all...but lately, I feel like Laura...beating him off me! haha jk, but seriously...he's asking like every night! UM NOOOOO WAY!!
But when I do say yes...laying on our sides with him behind is usually the most/only comfortable position. Back is out for us and I am too big and too uncomfy to be on top now lol.
And he is SO understanding..when I say no he will tease and continue to ask but never makes me feel bad or pressures me. And whenever I get too tired or whatever, he is fine with me finishing him in a "handier" way haha. Hope thats not TMI!

Corrie - posted on 04/15/2011

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I wasn't horny last time, i'm not horny this time, i'm never having sex AGAIN.
.... Ok so i blame it on the sciatica and the SPD but really i just don't feel like it, i don't feel attracted to him at the moment, not sexually, i don't feel attractive, to anyone.
He knows. He understands and he says it's ok, but he still cracks 'jokes' at least once a day about trying it on or playing away.
I take it with a pinch of salt because i know he's suffering....But this has to be about me, what i want and whats best for me too.
I found the last time (around 5 weeks ago) the best position was spooning. It was relativly comfortable, and at that point i wasn't suffering too badly from anthing, also on all fours. Find something comfortable for you, but remember if it's not good to lie a certain way in general pregnancy (eg on your back) it's not gonna be good for baby during sex either.
Good luck!! :)

Ianina - posted on 04/15/2011

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hummm, I'd say like a month ago or even more. He doesn't even ask, I think he knows better. I don't have a problem with him touching himself, so...

Merry - posted on 04/15/2011

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How long has it been since you did it ianina? Does your hubby not ask? Or are you just better at saying no!

Ianina - posted on 04/15/2011

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hahahahaha
I was sooo close to call in the cops because your hubby is a sex addict that forces you XD

Sex...let me think...no, I don't want to, or feel like taking one for the team either...I have a really hard time trying to get comfy in bed already...I was horny the 1st trimester, after that my sex life went down hill

Merry - posted on 04/15/2011

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Just have to clarify, matt never pressures me into having sex, and he would never make me feel bad for saying no. I just have a hard time denying him cuz he's so darn cute when he wants it and I hate saying no.
Just so you all know he's not some heartless sex addict forcing me into it! Lol I'm just a softie who rarely can say no!

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