Bipolar

Angie - posted on 03/06/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm 24 years old and have bioplar PTSD and anxiety I have two beautiful children who are my world I am the best mom I can be but sometimes it's hard for me to do everyday things. I can't drive and feel totally alone most days. Sometimes my husband is understanding but it's some days he acts like it's hard for him to understand why I can't do everything that need to be done. I do try. My daughter is 4 1/2 and sometimes sees me when I'm having a panic attack or acting plain crazy and even though I try to hide it sometimes she sees that and I don't like that. I was diagnosed when I was 18 and have been searching for the right meds ever sense I was just wondering if there are others here like me and what do you do and how are you able to be good parents when you sometimes are lucky to be out of bed.

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Jennifer - posted on 03/16/2010

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Hi Angie.
I was diagnosed at 19 with Bipolar Disorder. I have been around the world so to speak with this disease and this I can tell you. It is not easy to get stabilized on meds. But you need to stick with it and when you finally find the right combo, you will be happy like me to take whatever combo it is each and everday.
I still have my ups and downs but they are managable. I also have two children. I am 37, and went off most of my meds when I got pregnant. I have a 28month old and an 18 month old. It is ohhhh so very hard to keep up. And the thing about being a mom is you don't get a lunch break, a bathroom break, a min to think, or sleep..no vacation time and you can't call in sick.
So every Mom struggles, even the ones who either say they have it all tackled, or the ones that seem like they do. Believe me.
We , with Bipolar struggle more, but as the other post said, You have decide some days...Is clean laundry worth my sanity. And the answer is hell no.
My husband is patient sometimes, and understanding sometimes. No one unless they have the disease can understand why at times making a phone call or taking a shower could be difficult. So don't fault him (well at least not yet. With my husband I have found that I have to be clear cut. I can't say oh woe is me and expect help. I have to say if you can clean off the kitchen table, put the baby to bed, and give me an hour of solitude it won't just be helping me but yourself and the family. After all Happy Wife = Happy Life.
I am not making light of any of this at all. I was a career person before I had my children and honestly. I am not that domestic....I cook well, but laundry is my downfall. It never gets folded and put away I have a working clean pile on the couch, that I rush into the dryer when we need to be presentable. I cook most nights but I gave up on sweeping the floor every time it needs to be. I sweep 2x a week and wash once. My husband does the bathrooms, (and when the kids need a bath it is a good reminder time that the bathtub needs to be wiped clean.) His cleaning isn't really up to my standards but hey, you cannot argue with free help.
I have found that in motherhood although you are in control of so many more things. You have to let go of control of so many others. Ya know in the end their is no award for a clean home.
Stick to the basics for a while. Kids clean, you clean, clean clothes for the day, and meals for you the kiddos and hubby. If you can get those tasks done, which alone isnt easy, then ask the hubby to help u after dinner with straightening or laundry it may help.
Honey I know all too well what you are going though...I have a post on here for desperate help bc my home looks burglarized at the end of each day.....Hang in there and count you blessings. Don't beat ur self up. Children are made happy by your attention, that is all. So whatever else you cannot do for the day is A ok.
I am here if you want to chat.
Jenn

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4 Comments

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Talona - posted on 06/27/2013

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I am bipolar with 4 kids and number 5 on the way.Most days I have a hard time with my kids. my oldest son is ADHD and ODD, and one of my 3 year olds is developmentally delayed as well. It is even harded to help them when, where I live, there is basically nosupport for people with disabilities who are mothers. My husband expects me to be able to do what he does on a daily basis and does not understandwhy I have so much trouble with it. I completely undertand where you are coming from.

LINDA - posted on 03/12/2010

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I LEARNED I WAS BIPOLAR 11 YEARS AGO. MY CHILDREN NOW 30 AND 28 LIVED WITH THE MOM WHO WOULD BE A YOYO EMOTIONALLY. THEY ACCEPTED IT AS NORMAL, SINCE THAT IS ALL THAT THEY HAD KNOWN. MY HUSBAND ALSO SOMETIMES FIND IT HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHY I CANT BE THE WIFE HE WANTS. WHEN I AM DOWN I TRY TO ACCOMPLISH 1 OR 2 TASKS. THAT IS WHEN HE KICKS IN DOES OTHER LITTLE THING TO HELP. AND ACCEPTS THAT IT IS WHAT IT IS. YOUR DAUGHTER IS YOUNG ENOUGH NOT TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING BUT TO HER IT IS NORMAL. IF YOUR HAVING A PANIC ATTACK HAVE HER HELP MOMMY BY DEEP BREATHING OR EVEN LITTLE HUGS. WHEN SHE GETS OLDER YOU CAN EXPLAIN THE UPS AND DOWN AND I AM SURE SHE WILL KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO HELP. HANG IN THERE..BREATH....AND HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Jenny - posted on 03/08/2010

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Hi Angie,

I totally understand your struggle and commend you for recognizing that it's impossible to do everything. I also have bipolar. I didn't have my first episode until I weaned my first daughter (who is now 4 1/2 as well). I have an 8 weeks old daughter and I'm really aware of trying to get everything done with respect to the kids and the house, while trying to maintain my mental health. I've had to let go of a lot of things and come to terms with the fact that sometimes things aren't going to get done the way I'd like or I can't get as much done as I'd like. Those around me, including me husband, have also come to recognize the importance of my mental health. After all isn't stability worth more that a clean kitchen? I've been really lucky the last year- since becoming pregnant I haven't had any episodes and have been able to come off meds. Before I was pregnant I was having horrible episodes. Some days I was wildly out of control and some days I couldn't get out of bed. My husband and parents have been incredible supports. I think having good support is essential.

I wish you all the strength and patience needed to manage your mental illness,

Message me if you ever want to chat,

Jenny

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