Amanda - posted on 12/07/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hello, i am 23 with 3 children. I really just need someone to talk to that knows what i'm going through. i have depression/anxiety and severe panic disorder. I feel like i am losing interest in my kids. Only 2 live with me (other lives with my mom...long story), they are 2 and 1 and they constantly fight. i feel like all i am ever doing is yelling at them to stop doing this or that. I never feel like sitting down and playing or being creative with them. I feel like i'm a worthless mother not only because i don't feel like playing with them but because they never listen! I know they are young but do all kids act like this? I can yell til i'm blue in the face for them to stop fighting or doing something and they just look at me and keep doing it sometimes they laugh thinking it's funny! I am with them 24/7, i have no time for my self to think, relax or anything! i'm at whit's end and i don't know what to do! I feel like this depression is taking over me, my whole body hurts, i have constant headaches, i'm gloomy all the time, and sometimes it's even hard not to think negatively, like for example: my husband and i were talking about how we were getting our own piece of land to set our own house on. Now normally people would be excited about that, but here i sit talking about all the negatives, like "what if this doesn't go right?" Or " what if the money doesn't fall into place?" i can't look at the good side of things only the negative and i hate that. I hate the fact that i don't feel normal and i feel like i won't ever be happy or "normal" again. I want to be there for my kids more than what i am now, and look at the good side of things and all that, but i don't think i ever will.
I'm sorry that this is so long, but i've been holding it all in for a few weeks now and i had to vent. But if anyone can help, just the slightest bit, it would be highly appreciated.