He goes to boot camp in June!

Kristine - posted on 02/17/2009

Yikes!

I guess I can see why he doesn't want her to be his girlfriend anymore! That kinda says alot doesn't it. 

Best advice for him is to just completely tie off the relationship all together. That and he should report her, maybe not file charges but for his own protection, at least just file a police report of insidences anyway.  I learned this the hard way, with my divorce. ((at least file a report of insidences that have happened) this way, whats happening is on record or on file))

Best of luck

Kris

Shauna - posted on 02/10/2009

Our biggest problem right now is with an ex-girlfriend that he still wants to be friends with. She can't handle that and it is causing issues.....like go to the police kind of issues. She still wants to be his girlfriend...he doesn't want her to be. It is a long messed up story. Oh well. Hopefully he'll learn from this experience.

Kristine - posted on 02/10/2009

I guess I didn't have that issue, my son was/is very mature for his age. So when everyone told me he would change alot after basic, i didn't notice much change other then the "yes Mam" no Mam"  HA  

Tell him that until he leaves you are his seargant now and that he needs to salute you. HA

I would imagine, depending on the severity of his obeying the rules.. only you know best!

whether to put your foot down or to let things be. 

Concentrate on the fact that he is still in high school and his graduation. Forget the fact that he signed. "one thing at a time"  

Hooah!

Its an Army thing that means anything and everthing.

Hello, goodbye, thank you, good job, I hear you, later, etc etc

Shauna - posted on 02/03/2009

I guess I've got to learn to say "Hooah!"....LOL. How do you make these kids understand that they still have to obey the rules at home even though they have one foot out the door?

Kristine - posted on 02/02/2009

It will hit you like a ton of bricks on your way home from dropping him off for basic!! Do NOT do it alone, have someone else drive you!  a friend, a sibling, or even another blue star mom. anyone... or maybe he will be picked up, but don't do it alone.

I know what you are going through!

The pre-jitters, the wonders of the unknown, anticipation/seperation anxiety of his departure.

We Blue Star mom's support each other!

Hooah!

Shauna - posted on 01/27/2009

Wow! Thank you so much! I really didn't know whether people would respond to me or not. We have a Blue Star Mother's Group here that is very inactive. I am going to try to get some of the moms around here to start an email group or something. This facebook group is going to be a God send, I can tell. I do ok most of the time. But there are times, when the magnitude of it all hits me. Then I realize that it really hasn't all hit me and that there will be worse times (for me, hopefully not for him).



I guess our biggest issue right now is that he thinks that because he has already signed, he is a man. He feels that I should just let him do whatever, whenever. There is a part of me that agrees. But the selfish part of me says, "I've only got these last 5 months. I'm taking full advantage of them!"



I am very proud of him and even prouder that my youngest son wants to follow in his brother's footsteps. It's the simple things that i guess I'm missing already. Like, getting to know his girlfriend/future wife while he is getting to know her; getting to be there when he buys his first car (although he says he is buying a motorcycle as soon as he gets out of basic); just having a small influence on the decisions that he will make. I guess this is the time when you have to say, "I've done my best!" and then let go and pray that you've done good enough. No one told me before I had kids that this day would come. But he's a good boy and I'm sure he'll do fine! Thanks so much to all of you that replied.

BJ - posted on 01/27/2009

Shauna, I am the single mother of one son and he went into the Marines just barely six weeks after graduation from high school! Yes, he signed back in February, '06 and left in August. Let me tell you, the nite that he told me that he was going to be a Marine, my heart left my chest and dropped on the floor!!! I was sitting down too!!



Military service in the last 10 or so years for any young person tends to put a real strain on us parents. Yes, my son did come back a Man but he also was still my son!! During bootcamp, depending on which service, I guess, just keep writing those letters!! He may not write back as often but he will definitely appreciate the ones that you send all the more!!!



AND BY NO MEANS SEND ANYTHING OTHER THAN LETTERS OR CARDS UNLESS HE TELLS YOU IT IS OK!!!! I know that the Marines will consificate any and all things that are not just mail!! Then they tend to pick that person out for awhile to kind of "pick on". In other words, they want to let the recruits know they are not suppose to do that and will not tolerate it either!!



But, any time I can help as like I said, I have already been there and don't want to go back!! But whatever your son goes into, I know he will excel at it because he chose which branch he felt he would get the most out of!!!!



God Bless All, Always,

BJ

Gayle - posted on 01/22/2009

Shauna,



All three of my sons enlisted and were headed to bootcamp within 6 months of each other. Twins enlisted in Navy at age 20 and my youngest son enlisted in the Army and was headed to bootcamp within 6 weeks of graduating. They all know how very proud I am of the decision they made and you are right, they do come back as men but the child still shows through at times. I have been very lucky to have good relationships with all of them. It is very hard watching them go, but I take it as a good sign of their upbringing that they make good choices for themselves as individuals. I think the hardest part for me is the times when they are not able to be in direct contact wth me. My youngest just got back from an 18 month deployment to Iraq and I was able to talk to him through yahoo messenger as one of the items he took with him was his laptop. He just got back the end of November and the end of this month my son Chris is being deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months. He is in the Reserves right now but volunteered for this tour. He felt it was his duty to go over so someone that was there could come back and see their family.

Kristine - posted on 01/20/2009

PS... I got a puppy while he was away!

Kristine - posted on 01/20/2009

Hi Shauna!

Sounds like the same story for me... 3 weeks after graduation my son left for basic training, Army National Guard, in 06, did his AIT training, back to back, then two weeks prior to his AIT graduation, he calls me, GUESS WHAT MOM!  Im going to Iraq... I was devistated, while he was soo excited!.  "I figured training, then home for college." Definately not the case.. He was based with the Assault Helicopter Betallion. Aviation crew of the 2-147, St Paul, MN. At first, i figured his job was mechanic for the helicopters, till he later told me he was training to fly as a crew chief..(stinker)

If you have a chance to fly or go to Graduation Ceremony from Basic, Definately do not pass it up! Definately utilize the FRG (family readiness group) classes, meetings etc.. Thats what got me through everything the most, they inform you of so much information. What to say what not to say.

It is very difficult, ONE DAY AT A TIME, but then the time will fly by, as long as you stick to your regular schedule, routine etc, especially with his siblings, write many letters as that is the only communication you will probably be able to have with him while in training, other then that you may get a phone call once or twice, and he will be able to talk for exactly 2 minutes..lieterally.  Writing letters, and getting letters in the mail made it feel closer to him.

Don't mean to scare you, with my story, but he spent an 18 month deployment with a  year in Iraq, he got home in July 08, and is now taking care of school. It was a long two years!

Boot camp will probably be the longest 10 weeks. Write lots of letters so he will get mail at least a few times a week.  Just tell him the simplist of things, day to day stuff. So he can imagine he is home. It was strange for me, more difficult while he was at training, too many thoughts through my mind. I cried and cried when he left for basic. But yet, when he left for Iraq, I was more at ease.. Weird or what?!  The communication with your soldier, is much better and easier after training, you have internet, email, IM, If you have a computer with a camera, you will want to utilize it.  Yahoo, Instant Messenger was my best friend for 18 months!

All you can do is be Proud, Stand behind him during his decision processess, even if the words don't come out, he will know! rub his head after his haricut...HA

Get support from whomever, whenever you can. Locally or just by email.

I am here. If you have questions, etc.

PS Definately make sure that you are on his bank accounts, have Power of Attorney for him, that he open a checking account with a debit card or at least a savings with a cash card.

Best regards,

Kristine "Army National Guard Mom and proud of it!!"

Theresa - posted on 01/20/2009

Hi Shauna - My daughter signed before high school graduation too - although, for the Navy - she is just finishing her four years and is doing just fine. She was stationed in Japan for four years so I haven't seen her much at all in the last four years.... Just tell your son that you love him and are proud of him (and send some "care packages" from home if you can). He may be different, but You will ALWAYS BE HIS MOM!!! He hasn't forgotten. You'll be fine.