recently deployed

Lori - posted on 02/23/2010

Deployment is rough my husband just left for his pre-deployment training first on east coast and then west coast. My almost 3 year old is having a hard time. He asks at night where dad is and he says "daddy coming home" when I say no he gets like full of anxiety and says its again and again each time with more anger until he cries. He still thinks sometimes that dad is just out buying him a bug juice and will be home soon. It's pretty sad. He talks to daddy on phone and will webcam when dad actually gets over there in Iraq but it is definitely hard. I also have two other children 14 and 8 and the 14 year old handles it just fine he remembers dad going to Iraq the first time and the 8 year old was just a little when he went the first time but she is doing okay so far. Hang in there- keep lots of pictures around of daddy, talk about him allot and , do webcam and also have him send cards, pictures, small gifts home to your son it may help.

Sabrina - posted on 02/08/2010

My 15 month old is going through the same thing. She's even stopped eating. She cries all the time, and usually the webcam with her dad would help but lately she just looks at him and screams harder. I had to take her to 2 doctors to get everything physical ruled out as to her new behavior. After that they referred me to a child psychiatrist that specializes in families in our situation. Maybe you could see if they have something like that there...and she goes to a civilian Dr. I was not about to let the army touch my children.

Rose Ann - posted on 01/26/2010

My husband is currently deployed and my son(4) cries for him sometimes and asks me when is he coming home. Let me ask you this. Is he in school? Sometimes this helps because he'll get distacted with other things plus he'll be with other kids. It kinda gets his mind off of Daddy not being there. My son is currently in K-4 and it has helped greatly. Good Luck though.

Joyce - posted on 01/05/2010

I may be disqualified to even suggest anything here, for I no longer have young children, let alone a husband who is deployed. I do have two grown boys who are themselves in the military with one being deployed soon. And maybe you have gotten over this hurdle already since it's been about six months since you've made this post. One thing, if I may suggest, is to never lie to your children. Never tell your little ones everything is always going to be ok, because in reality, it isn't. Life is very difficult. Everyone goes through hard times. As hard as this may be to hear, our soldiers may be injured, etc. (or they may not). We can not guarentee our soldiers will be the same when they come home. In fact, they won't be. And to tell your little one he will be, will only have a backlash when your soldier does come home. But regardless of what happens, you can reassure your little one that you will make it through whatever the situation. Just like you make it through the bumps and bruises your little one gets from riding a bike, playing around, etc. And to continue to reassure him his Daddy loves him so very much and misses him. I hope this helps.

TRICIA - posted on 08/01/2009

Have you tried going to the USO with him? I know they have lots of cool things for kids and will be able to help them understand deployments. My daughter was 5 when we went through our first deployment. She was having nightmares about daddy not coming back home as well. I had make sure that her days were very busy with all different activates. Nights when I get home from work, we would go out to dinner, out window shopping or even to the beach/park. I try to keep her out of the house. If we stayed home, we would have blockbuster nights as well as nights of checking out old photos of the family...Stay positive and give him lots of love, trust me I know how hard it can be. I'm going through our second deployment now. My daughter and I will pray for you and your family.

Melissa - posted on 06/15/2009

thank you very much. i do think the media is having an influence on what he is thinking.

Diane - posted on 06/15/2009

This is where you have to be strong. Some conversations kids this age shouldn't hear because they can't understand it. Be careful to speak positively about what dad is doing and let him know its ok to feel the way he does, talk to him about it. It sounds like he is scared dad won't be back, he may have heard this from someone close to you or your family... or just whats on the news. Protect your kids from negative and help them understand that you are there and together you are going to make it through. I know its tough and I will be praying for you and your family.