Recruiting Duty?

Nikki - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 37 moms have responded )

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Are anyone's husbands on recruiting duty?? Im new to this whole recruiting thing, so just looking for someone who understands....I thought recruiting duty would be a piece of cake seeing as though we have gone through 4 deployments together. I thought 3 yrs home sounded great, only hes never home, lol. Well just interested if someone else is going through the same thing. Thanks in advance.

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Suzannah - posted on 05/10/2010

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Oh WOW!! Everyone's story sound all too familiar. My hubby is a SSGT in the Marines and we have been on recruiting duty for 1yr 6mths. I too thought oh he will non-deployable for 3 yrs, couple of hours away from family, be together everyday...haha!! Try working 6-7 days a week from 6-7am until 8-11pm every night. Then he comes home stressed out cause he needs to be on a contract or doesn't have the correct amount of appointments for the next day.

We had a baby 9 months ago and I am grateful he was home for her birth. My poor hubby has no time for himself. He wants to wind down when he gets home and I want to talk his ear off lol... Recruiting is just a very hard job. Its demanding, time-consuming, STRESSFUL...I was pregnant the first year we were here and I didn't know a soul. I had 24/7 morning sickness so I couldn't leave the house. OHHH I was soooo lonely.

I am very thankful he is out of harms way and he comes home to me every night, don't get me wrong. I think until you live with your spouse working as a recruiter, you can't understand. People can tell you how hard it is but you don't know until you live it. Another thing is living on a military base for 9 years then going back and living as a civilian. I have found that very hard...almost like I don't fit in because there are no other military families in the area (he works at a PCS and is the only person at his office)

By the time I make some friends and get comfortable, it will be time to move somewhere else hahaha...Hey, I am hanging in there and taking it a day at a time. Last thing, keep the communication open...its soooo very important!!

Sabrina - posted on 09/27/2015

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My hubby was a recruiter and I really think it changed my husband and not for the good.

Doug - posted on 05/28/2013

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I was a Marine career recruiter, are SgtMaj does have a system in place for wifes while husband's are recruiters. His door or phone was always open for problems that he could maybe help, recruiting is a very hard, long hours job, and everyone hates it. I was NCOIC in many stations, and the wifes most of the time did not like me, because the duty was long, stressful, and I was the boss, and had to look over them, my job believe it or not, was to make it a successful tour for all my Marines, really the best thing you can do, is support him, and try and work around his hours, go to lunch together, or spent time if you can find it. I went thru two wifes in 13 years, and its hard, I am retired now, and look back, and I can see the problems, its are pride and not wanting to fail, that makes us go.. Semper FI and if I can help in any way I will try. Doug

Doug - posted on 05/28/2013

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I was a Marine recruiter for long time, and I could guess seen a lot, if you have any question's that I will get back with you on, I've seen many recruiter's fail, and many make it, its a hard life while this duty goes on, for the whole family. MSgt Doug Carlyle, USMC Retired

I Miss My - posted on 06/03/2010

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My husband is about to finish his 3 year term on RD. He's in the Navy and yea he will work late hours and work Some weekends, but its apart of his job. They even tell you that at the Graduation ceremony after their recruiting training. Well that's what the CO said during his speech. So it's expected. It should already be anyways, cause its a "Sales" kinda job really, if you think about it. If he's a new recruiter, its more often he'll be working weekends to do events and work booths for shows, etc. Plus driving applicants to MEPs is usually done by the newbs, but everyone does it, but they can push the newbs too, unless its an officer. My husband had to do it regardless, but not as often when he was around a few years. They aren't that pushy if you have a good station and everyone is putting people in. I guess? It's weird, I mean it sucks when he comes home late, but I worked also so it wasn't that bad. I guess I'm more okay with his late nights because its not that often, and I work, but at least I get to see him everyday. We didn't have that when he was stationed on a ship. But there is a Big difference between Navy Recruiting and Army and Marines because Army and Marines. My husband shares an office with Marines and they work a Lot.



**Oh and I should add, I got pregnant with our first child his 2nd year in RD and then our second the next year :) For the first pregnancy he made it to Every sonogram, Every doctor's visit and was there for Everything, except he hated not being there for his firsts at home when he was working :) but he got her first steps and got to see it all on video since i recorded it all. Our Second, he missed some, maybe 1/3 of the visits but he made it to All of the sonograms of course. You just have to make sure your man knows all your appointments and adding them to his weekly schedules, because that is what they go by when recruiting so that the their command knows where they are, but again we're Navy.

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Jessica - posted on 05/22/2017

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My husband is a marine recruiter just a little over a year. He has changed and not for the good. He lies, he's sneaky and not to mention these young girls not staying in their lane my husband is very young 22 both to turn 23. We have fought everyday being here, and I'm leaving him this weekend. What answers do you ladies have?

Melissa - posted on 01/24/2013

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My husband is a navy recruiter and we both hate it! We are currently in pa and have basically no support system! We have been here a little over a year and I have made no friends! As a military wife I need friends as a support system. My husband is never home and I have four children. I love the navy just hate recruiting and where we are now. We would both love to transfer ASAP! Help!

Tanya - posted on 11/04/2011

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Wow, so many negative people. Where are the positives? Or is it easier to be a pessamist?

User - posted on 09/13/2011

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My husband has been doing if for just over 2 years now. I know exactly how you feel! I think him being on deployment is easier because you know he won't be home. Even when he is home he gets phone calls at all hours. So yes, I know exactly what you are feeling.

Joanna - posted on 06/04/2010

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I wasn't necesarily thinking that your husband was doing something wrong; more that his station commander was overworking him and others. That's not getting your husband in trouble. Your husband would not or shouldn't not get punished for something that isn't his fault. If he is the one that's staying late without permission, then, yeah, he'd be the one to get into trouble. I just heard about a recruiter getting into trouble because he got into a car accident after hours in a government vehicle and he hadn't been given permission. Just to put things into perspective.

Robyn - posted on 06/04/2010

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The IG complaint idea is nice and all, but I am not about to report things to my husbands command and ruin his carrer because of it. I wasn't trying to start trouble, I was just being honest about our own experience and not sugar coating it. Maybe small stations are different than large ones because there are less people to get the work done.

Joanna - posted on 06/03/2010

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My husband just informed me that the CG of the Army USAREC implemented the time off policy as soon as he became the CG, he thinks maybe 6 mos ago, but he's not sure. He also said that if there is a recruiter that is still working long hours feel free to talk to battalion command or to let him know that your husband is not abiding by the time off policy. And he should be able to fix the problem. If that doesn't happen then you go to the USAREC IG. Even the one Saturday that the recruiter may need to work (if there is somenoe who is on the floor or however it's said) gets comped on Monday.
Judith, it seems that with this new policy things have truly gotten better in terms of hours. If your husband is still thinking about it, it's a great option for being home. THis is the new USAREC with lots of family time!!!!

[deleted account]

@Crystal NO JOB your husband does should ever cost you your marriage. If the lines of communication are open and you are supporting each other then there would be no room for divorce. My father was a recruiter and my husband now is serving on recruiting duty. My parents are still married and not once have my husband and I discussed divorce.Hours are going to be long period when you are in the Army. That is the way of this life. Just because YOU and YOUR spouse had difficulty with it doesn't mean you should discourage other wives and bring them down before they go into this new challenge. Everyone has their own experiences and they are what you make of them. If you would rather your husband be in Iraq or Afghanistan then you shouldn't be married because that is messed up. My husband is a recruiter in Philadelphia. The market is hard out here. Wanna talk about places the cops won't go? Do you know how many cops were killed in Philly last year? The point I am making is if your husband is efficient at being a recruiter he will do fine. If not he will put in the hours until he does his job properly. Because of the suicide rates of recruiters it is MANDATED that the new hours are followed. If they aren't being followed well then you have an IG complaint right there and your husband's battalion can get in deep shit for that. I am happy that my husband is here safe and that he comes home and sleeps next to me instead of wondering where is he and if he is getting shot or blown up. There are a million worse things that your husband could be doing rather than having to work long hours as a recruiter. @Judith if your husband can find a battalion that does the team concept or pinnacle recruiting try to get stationed there. They work as a team with numbers and not as individuals so he will be not spending so much time at the office. :o)

Crystal - posted on 06/02/2010

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they had rules when my husband was recruiting they didnt fall them the recruiting is its on little world and my husband wasnt safe when he was recruiting most of the place he went the cops wouldnt even go to and to the one who is pushing for recruiting u will regret it recruiter are the most divorced in the army we almost got a divorce because of recruiting thanks god we are done with recruiting

Robyn - posted on 06/02/2010

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The honest truth about the "new rule" is that not everyone follows it (sorry Judith). My husband is in a small station and they are short one recruiter and since he left there has not been one night he has been home at 5 pm . I think a lot of the experience you have depends on where you are too. It isn't completely terrible though. My husband seemed like he was on the every other year deployment too ( he was a water purifier) and a least now I know he will be here for the birth of our 3rd child in August. I know when my husband went to the school, they picked a region and from there they were assigned a battalion and had to call there to find out what station they were getting, so there was no guarantee as far as being near your hometown. My husband actually ended up in the same battalion as our hometown, but his actual station was about 4 hours away. It worked for us as my mother was terminally ill so I was able to be with her until she passed away, then move up here with him. We could have been a lot further away. Good luck if this is what you decide to do. I think it is like anything in the Army....it has good and bad points.

[deleted account]

hola everybody!!! myhubby is on his 3rd deployment and we been looking at our options when he gets back, drill sgt or recruting possibly warrant (but he's a tanker so we'll c ) ... and i've been pushing recruiting because I want us to move to MD where he's from and want a house. We're stationed in fort bliss now (my hometown) and desperate to move to Maryland. After reading these posts.... im kinda worried. We have a 6 mo old son and he deployed w rear d 2 wks after he was born and Im dying to have another baby asap. I want him to be home to see everything because he's missing out on our first son. ughhhh i really wanted him to be home in time to give our son a bath n put him to bed ( time for him to bond and my wind down time) :( im sick of every other yr deployments!



Alysha, when did that new rule come into effect? :( ur post is the only one that sounds hopeful that he'll be able to be home every night at a decent hour

[deleted account]

Recruiting has changed a lot. They are only allowed to work from 9-5 Mon-Fri. These are the new rules implemented by Recruiting Command. Even if he had to work the long hours the I would rather have my husband here in the states where I know he is safe over him being in danger in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Crystal - posted on 06/02/2010

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i use to know how it was when i met my husband he was a recruiter and he was a recruiter back in 2005-2007 he was on the 2 yr and got extened 6 months i dont wish that on anybody we almost ddint make it through recruiting i can give ya'll advice my husband came to almost every appiontment when we were having our daughter he was out p3ing so he would come go with me then go to were every he was suppose to go good luck hope ya'll make it through recruiting i heard it is way better now than when we were in recruiting and after recruiting is over he can be recalled for it i prayed everyday for a yr that we didnt get called back to recruiting its been 2 1/2yrs for us and we dont fight like we did in recruiting i am happy we are done now we are getting ready for our 1st deployment as a family

Erica - posted on 05/12/2010

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"He swears it will get better once hes not a newbie, any truth to this"

LOL.. nope, sorry. As he becomes more experience they will just have him out speaking at more schools, talking to more parents, ect. It gets worse, IMHO, as the years drag by.

Erica - posted on 05/12/2010

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Ugh!! Hate recruiting duty! My husband re-enlisted in 2000 to do 3 years of recruiting duty. One year later in 2001, DA selected him to become a 79R, permanent recruiting duty. Oh joy! So, it is 2010 and we still have 6 more years left. We both would rather him go overseas than serve continuous years within USAREC, but they will NOT allow him to do so. How horrible is it that the military will not ALLOW a soldier to serve overseas?!!



And being prior service myself, I so know how USAREC acts as though they are completely separate from the Army. They make up their rules- hate to tell you USAREC-you ARE a part of the Army and still have to abide by the Army regulations, policies and procedures!!

Suzannah - posted on 05/11/2010

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Meaghan, thanks for your reply. I looked at the meetup website and our town isn't on there. The closest one is 45 minutes away. I am in a small town in West Tennessee. I have met a few people on facebook that live in my town so maybe when the weather gets a little better I can meet them at the park. I think there is one park here and no place to shop except Wal-Mart...seriously!! I am so thankful to have Emma or I would be losing my mind for sure...

Meaghan - posted on 05/10/2010

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Suzannah, my husband is also at a PCS so we are the only ones here. We are in Ashland,KY. Where are you? What I found to help me to make freinds is to join a playgroup with other moms. www.meetup.com type in your zip code and you can possibly find some mom groups to go out and make some freinds. Thats the only way I have made freinds so far and that has helped me a lot.

KIANNA - posted on 05/08/2010

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Oh my .....well my hubby is on stinky recruiting duty and I am so ready to get back to the regular army I was happy too bc of the three yr stability but it is not all what I thought it would be they do over work the guys.........we are not near a army base no family and it is so much harder to make friends it is rough but we have 2yrs down and 1 more to go lol! Hang on in there girl : )

Meaghan - posted on 05/08/2010

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dont worry about it too much. Just saty supportive with his long hours, even if it gets on your last nerve. You will have to learn to stay up longer at night, and have less sleep, but if thats the only way to get time together so be it. Its a very stressful job, but just take it one day at a time. Plan on doing a lot of things by yourself, and dont set your self up for dissapointment. Dont let this duty tear you apart, you have to work extra hard with this duty to keep the love a live. The best part of this (i'm trying to stay positive) is that he gets to come home to sleep pretty much every night!!

Jennifer - posted on 05/07/2010

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I was getting on here for the same reason. As we speak my husband is in Recruiting school. I am VERY nervous about the long hours. He was an MP so I thought the long hours wouldn't bother me but the more ppl I talk to the more nervous I get.

Amina - posted on 01/14/2010

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My husband too is a recruiter (Navy).....we are stationed in Goldsboro. In the beginning I had a real hard time with the hours he worked but you learn to adapt. We live in an area that is primarily Air Force/Army so the Navy Recruiters tend to have to work 10x's harder. The hours do get better but it is important for you to stay busy! I am lucky to have older children (17 & 16) so I try to make my work schedule coincide with his. I know that for some of the wives it isn't as easy, they may have younger children and/or are stay at home moms but that doesn't mean you can't keep yourself busy. When I am not working I will pop into the office and bring him lunch, some cookies I baked or just pop in to say hey...I love you!

One thing that is important is to become active in what he does & show some interest. I find myself pdc'ing when I am in the grocery store or out shopping and handing out his cards. On weekends we may go to the movies or out to eat and we double team, meaning I may spot a candidate and point him/her out. I will usually start a conversation with them and he will finish it. (We are in the motorcycle community so networking comes easy for me.) It is fun for both of us, we get to spend time together, he is still puting in some pdc hours and more importantly he appreciates the support. I guess in a way it also makes me feel like a part of his world too and I think that is were a lot of the wives feel left out. Working together is also probably why his hours have reduced, he is not working 12+ hours a day and why still he is so successfull.

My thought process on this is that I am just thankful that he is home and not out on deployment. Believe me....in the 16 yrs he has been in, we have been through countless deployments, the missing of birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and more. I would much rather miss him for an hour or two them 6 to 9 mos. Hope this helps!

Crystal - posted on 01/14/2010

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my hubby said the same thing the whole time adn we argued almost every night because he was never there and he had to work on sundays to sometimes so we never got to do anything and when he was on leave they still wanted and made him come in to work i hope yall dont get extended like we did

Carrie - posted on 01/13/2010

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My husband is a Recruiter also..It sound GREAT being able to live by family & him get off @ 5 everyday..But for the longest time he was getting off @ 7 or later...My husband said he would rather be oversears then do Recruiting....It stinks & we cant wait to go back to an Army post...10 more months...

Crystal - posted on 01/12/2010

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i feel sorry for all of u i am one happy wife since we are done with recruiting im met my hubby while he was recruiting married and had a baby he was gone all the time he wishe dhe was deployed he hated i hated u never see them they brigade doesnt care abt family worse than regular army he missed out on her learning to crawl she got put in the hospital they thought i should stay there 24/7 with no rest with a 8 month he wont get home sometimes 1 am and them back out at 4 am my hubby said recruiting is not the real army had a few good things come out of recruiting met him had a baby and met one of my best friedns her hubby was recruiter to so we use to complain together which made it easier and it was were i was from even though its been 2 years its something u never for get and everybody i talk to hates it

i wish yall all the besties of luck and not get extended on recruiting like we did

Nikki - posted on 12/14/2009

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Thanks for the replies! At least it looks like there is some positive change ahead...And yes it definitely is better than deployments...

[deleted account]

Hey there! My husband is a recruiter in Florida, and when he first started out - he worked until 9, and some days he would get up at 2 in the morning to go to MEPS. Now, it's a whole lot better. He gets home around 7, which is a lot more bearable than 9 PM! He still has to drive to MEPS early in the morning some days, but hey...at least they're home and not deployed! Plus, I live in sunny Florida :-)

Robyn - posted on 12/13/2009

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My husbands station seems to go back and forth...sometimes he gets up at 3 to go in (MEPS is an hour and a half away) and sometimes he goes in at 9, sometimes he is home around 6 sometimes 8 so we never know. He has been doing this a year as of November, and I have learned to make my own plans and if he is here great..if not be prepared to do whatever with the kids by myself. It is better than him being deployed though because at least I don't have to worry about him as much.

Shannon - posted on 12/13/2009

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I know the feeling. My husband took recruiting duty so we could be closer to family and our son could be close to his grandparents for his 1st 3 years. He's 15 months now. We will have our first year of recruiting done in March. My husband is always on the go. I try to remember that WE are close to family and he doesn't have deploy, but it still stinks sometimes. Good luck and hang in there.

Nikki - posted on 12/12/2009

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My husbands a Sgt in the marines (well staff select, yay! something good came out of this) , were out here in central cali for now. He volunteered for this billet before we found out I was expecting our 3rd child, and we had him about a week before he checked in. My husband is gone about 6 days a week right now, until about 10pm or 11pm at night. At least with deployments you know when hes coming home. Ive found out we cant plan anything, but I guess that goes with the whole semper gumby (always flexible) lol. He swears it will get better once hes not a newbie, any truth to this?

Nancy - posted on 12/11/2009

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My husband is on RD...has been since June 2007. i totally understand what you are going through...last night hubby came home at 12ish and missed our last ultrasound before the baby is born yesterday...it's frustrating but know in the end it is sooo worth it! What branch is your husband in? I know that different branches have different experiences with this 'wonderful' duty.

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