Samantha - posted on 01/06/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )
My husband, son and I just moved from Ft. Lewis, WA to Ft. Bliss, TX over Thanksgiving weekend. My husband actually came 2 weeks before my son and me. Before he left, he was really sad to have to leave me and our son behind for a little while until he got a house situated for us. The 2 weeks we were apart, he would tell me how much he misses me and how he can't wait for us to come join him at Ft. Bliss. When we got down here, he was so excited to have us here and he was so happy not to have to wait any longer. He would sweet talk me all the time saying how happy he was and how much he loved me. Two weeks after we got here, he started changing drastically. He blind sided me one night with the news of how unhappy he is being married to me and that he doesn't love me anymore. He asked for a separation, but luckily, I convinced him that we seek counseling before doing that. Since starting counseling, things have been seeming to gradually get better. He says that he loves me again, but that he's still unsure if he wants to be with me. It breaks my heart walking around knowing that and I don't have a clue what to do about it. I never once saw any sort of signs that he was unhappy nor did I ever suspect anything was wrong. This past week, I have been thinking a lot about why he might be unhappy. He was deployed from July 2009-July 2010. Throughout that time, he missed the pregnancy and birth of our son which took a toll on him, and he saw 3 of his friends killed in action. He was one of the soldiers who had to clean up their blood and remains, which I know did damaging affects to him. I can't help but think that he may possibly have PTSD, but just not know it. I have a g/f who's husband is also in the military and she says that her husband is acting the same way mine is-very distant, suddenly doesn't love her or want to be with her-and he was just diagnosed with PTSD. I don't know how to go about talking to my husband about the possibility of him having PTSD. Whenever I try to talk to him about anything as serious as that or how I'm feeling or what I think, he gets upset and thinks I'm attacking him and then a fight breaks out amongst us, which causes friction and a huge set back from all the progress we have made since he bombarded me with all of this just a month ago. Have any of you out there ever gone through anything similar? Any suggestions on the steps I can take to try to talk to him about it? I'm not familiar with PTSD and I have been trying to get information about it wherever I can. I don't want to chance getting into a fight with him, but I can't keep my mouth shut about it either for too much longer. He's the kind of man who is afraid to admit his faults or that anything is wrong with him. Please help! What do I do?!?!?