Any other spouses of reservists?

Michelle - posted on 07/28/2009

Hello to all. My husband is in the Marine resv. out of Rock Island. He went to boot camp at the end of Jan. '08 and after all the training and schooling he finaly came home at the end of Sept. To us it was a wake up call since we had never been apart longer then 5 days in the 9.5 years together. We haven't delt with any deployments yet (thank God). He says that there are guys that have been on a waiting list for 6 years trying to go over. We have 2 kids, boy & girl. Our daughter calls all the Marines "Sir yes Sirs", its how she knows daddy is leaving for a few days. In Aug. we get to go with him to the base for family weekend. We live 5 hours away from it so we haven't seen it yet. I did get to go to the ball last Nov. But that was at the hotel, but boy was that exciting. Like some others I am all new to this life but we made this choice together and have been standing beside each other. Him being away last year and me reminding him why we did this to him telling me how strong I am for taking care of our children alone with no family around. So far its been an up and down ride but is worth it all around.

Renee - posted on 07/27/2009

but you get through it with help of friends and family. (sorry, my computer decided i was done with my post.)

Renee - posted on 07/27/2009

hey everyone. My husband is in the louisiana national guard...and has been there for almost a year in nov...but before that he was a marine reservist-deployed twice-. we got married in dec of 08, and we are expecting our first child feb 2010. He has decided to make a career of the nat'l guard and i support him 110%. i was just wondering how many others have decided to make a career of it...and how many others are scared of facing the first deployment or another deployment. I made it through 1 deployment with the marine corp, but it was just me. And although i know i could do it again...it is the worst feeling in the world not to have him home.

Amy - posted on 07/26/2009

Well congrates on his soon to be promotion. It takes courage to be the spouse of a soldier, so I am glad that there is this site to keep me going. I find the strength that was there all along, but knowing that we are not alone makes me feel even more confident. I do get weak at times. Yesturday was one of those times. My husband came home from drill and told me that this rumor of deployment was no longer a rumor. That his unit had received their first warning order. And that the medical part of all this would begin in January. I have learned not to dwell on the bad though and live for the positive. For now he his home and I plan to enjoy everyday with him. We have yet to tell the kids ( both his and mine ). If there is ever anything that you wanna chat about i am here and always willing to listen or lend a shoulder.

Akeisha - posted on 07/25/2009

I am the wife of a SPC (soon to be promoted!) in the Kansas Guard! I knew nothing of the military life before I married him, no one in my family is in the Army and I didn't have any friends with parents in either, so it took a lot of getting used to being married to the military but I wouldn't change it for the world! We have been through one deployment together already and are hoping that will be all, but in the back of my mind I am scared that one day he will come home from drill with the news that he will be leaving, I know we will survive another deployment if it happens but that doesn't keep me from praying that it doesn't happen.

Amy - posted on 07/24/2009

Well anytime that you need someone to talk I am always willing to listen. MY hubby is a SGT in the National Guard. He works 40-50 hrs a wk at his civilian job, and one weekend of every month the Army has him. Not to mention once a year he goes for a 2 wk Annual Training ( AT ). I would not consider yourself a single mother, your husband is there and has his priorities. But he is also there as a husband, and father. My husband always seems like he is busy, sometimes to busy to be a father, however I know that he is here, and I sometimes just ask him "hey would you mind doing something as a family this evening"? I at the moment am mentally preparing he is due to deploy in 2010.
When he is gone he will still be here in thought, and even at times of deployment we should never consider ourselfs single parents. We knew when we married them, that the service part of their lifes. Like I always tell tell people, I didn't marry just my husband I married the Army as well. The responsibility does not change either as the wife of an active soldier, or like us spouses of reservists. I just enjoy the time that we have together, even if is very little. You could always try to schedule a " date with your hubby" you know a family date night, just pick a night to get everyone together have dinner as a family, maybe play some games, or a movie, or even a walk outside. That way you can set at least one night aside for the family. If there is anything that you wanna know please just ask. I will be talking with you later...

Gretchen - posted on 07/24/2009

i am a wife of a seabee reservist who has been in for 20yrs. since i have been with him he has been deployed once and i had our second child while he was in kewait. i need someone to talk to also that understands what it is like to have a husband who works a full time job and comes home and works in his office for another 5-6 hours. am i a single mom or what? that is the worst part. by the way seabees are the "guys" that build everything. plumbers, welders, builders, electricins and so forth. i would love to talk to someone who understands.

Amy - posted on 07/10/2009

Absolutely he does! I never much followed religion untill I got together with my hubby. I started going to chruch with him and I was amazed at the strength that I found. As I mentioned before we learned a few months ago that there is rumor that his unit will be deployed in 2010. I have learned from him how not to show emotion, however after he told me that part of me inside quivered. Honestly later that night after he had gone to bed I walked outside our house and sat on the porch and cried. I looked up and strangely I was comforted. Sometimes to think about it chokes me up, or if I see something horrible on TV I get chills. The other day my 9 y/o daughter and I wee watching CMT and the video for " American Soldier " came on, and at the end of the video where the father is getting on the plane and turns and salutes his son. My daughters turns to me and says " Do they come back "? I had tears running down my face. I wrapped her in my arms and told her " god leads their way and yes eventually they will come home"
Even though this is a little over a yr off or so, and knowing that this rumor is no longer a rumor, I have accepted this and plan to enjoy everyday with him and my family that I can.
I have always been a patriotic person, ~ army brat~ but being with my husband, I take even more pride in our country then ever before. I find interesting when we go to the ballgames with the kids and they play the national anthem, my hubby stands at attention, and my son at one time questioned him " why don't you cross your heart with your right hand?" Slowly my son is understanding, and he tries so hard to be like his step-dad. He always wants to wear his hats, or his barret. I have pics of this someday I will remember to post them...

Sophrona - posted on 07/09/2009

i am a wife of an e-5 soon to be a 2nd lt. in the army reserves. he is actually graduating sat! he was sent to iraq when we had two girls. we lived in wa. and before he even left, but was flying out the next day, i packed up what we could fit in our car and moved to alabama to be closer to more family. my kids were 2 and 10 mon. the hardest thing for me i think was the kids asking for daddy all day and wondering if he will ever come back. that was really hard to deal with. i would break down a lot after the kids went to bed or whenever a patriotic song came on the radio. he has been in for almost 10 years. i was in the marines, but broke 2 bones and was not healing fast enough so they disscharged me. i was alright with that. that was just after we got married. now we have 1 girl and 1 boy to add to our group! =-) because my husband was in training, he wasn't able to go with his unit to afganistan. o.k. he was kind of bummed, but sooo happy to stay home. have a great day and God helps us get through everything!

Kiley - posted on 07/08/2009

I am the wife of a SGT in the GA Army National Guard. He was just recentely deployed to Afghanistan for the first time. It's scary but we're making it. We have 2 precious little girls who miss their daddy tremendously. My faith in God has been the only thing that has gotten me through this. (Well, that and my family being close by.) Since all this has happened I have a new found sense of pride for my husband and our country. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm always available.

Amber - posted on 07/08/2009

thank you. his MOS is aviation maintance admen.we are at fort worth, tx. he is from tx and i was an air force bratt! i know what you mean when you cant read him, its kind of annoying, but your right it is nice to see him in his uniform!

Kim - posted on 07/06/2009

Quoting Vickie:

One other thing to any military wife or husband reservist or active you knew when you married the man or woman you married the military also. You loved him or her for what they are doing. I hate to admit it but I can't get over how well a man looks in a uniform whether the full dress or the BDU. I still great him like we just got married yesterday.

Kim - posted on 07/06/2009

My husband is an Missouri ANG Reservist, he joined at age 38, completed basic training and AIT, Jan. 06-Aug. 06; deployed to Yuma, AZ for border patrol in Sept. 06; was told in Oct. 06 that he would be leaving in about 30 days for Afghanistan, was deployed to Afghanistan from Jan. 07-Nov. 07, came back to the states early with a shoulder injury and was on medical hold at. Ft. Leonard Wood from Nov. 07-Mar.08, was on & off lists to go again from Oct. 08 until April '08, was told the Thursday before Easter he would be leaving for Afghanistan and left exactly 1 week later. So just when things were starting to get back to normal, he had to go again. So we missed spending our 10th, 11th and now we'll be missing our 13th anniversary together.

Amy - posted on 07/06/2009

Thanks you guys! Wow it is nice to have other spouses to talk to about things. I am enthralled that I don't have to feel alone. Especially now that there is rumor that in the fall of 2010 my hubbys unit will be deployed to Afganistan. This would be his 4TH tour in his almost 20 yr carrer in the serivce. I have done my research and would like to thank Sarah Rothman for telling me about the FRG. I plan to stand behind my husband and support him. It is our ( Military Spouses ) job, we knew it when we " signed up " ( married ) that the service is their jobs. They serve and protect our country, and it is a job that he loves. I am also looking into joining the Readiness Group from his unit. His unit is out of Lockport, NY. Even though we live in Erie, PA. They do alot of things to help support and prepare for such deployments. Ironically living here in Erie makes it hard to help, but I do what I can. The unit that is here in Erie is currently deployed to Iraq. I have a close friend that is engaged to one of their soldiers. Thanks again.

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2009

I'm married to an Army National Guard soldier in Iowa - where there are NO bases. He was active duty when we got married, then went to the Reserves, and now National Guard. He just re-enlisted in December for (hopefully) his last tour since he's only 4 from his 20. He's had a whole lot of travel thanks to the military.

Biggest issue for me is the uncertainty. I hate not knowing! We have a tentative probable deployment of about a year from now (likely fall 2010) so that's something I can plan around. I realize it will change; things always do, but I need to plan - that's my way of coping. Haven't mentioned it to the kids yet, since he just got back less than a year ago from a year's deployment.

If/when he deploys, make sure you get involved with the FRG! We discovered at the tail end of my husband's last deployment that another soldier's family lived 2 blocks away from us, and their daughter was in my son's class. We could've had each other for support that whole year! There are definite challenges living in the civilian world with a military spouse, and not knowing who else is going through that is one of them.

Brittany - posted on 06/09/2009

I am married to a reservist and he is currently in Iraq. We have a 9 month old daughter and I think it's been harder on her than it has on me. I was with him when he went to basic and to ait so this deployment hasn't been too bad because I've been through separation before. She on the other hand asks for her papa all say everyday and doesn't get it. Hopefully when he gets home in february from this year long tour he won't have to go back but with the unit he is in they have deployed every 1 1/2-2 years. He has another 3 years and another 2 years of call back and he's unsure if he wants to re-enlist but either way I'll support him. I knew what I was getting into when I started dating him and I love him more and am more proud of him each and every day. =]

Rachael - posted on 06/08/2009

I am a wife of a marine reservists I know how you feel it is very scary. Sometimes I feel that it was easyer when he was active duty because we knew that he would be going and now we dont no when it is coming intell he gets the call.

Vickie - posted on 06/08/2009

One other thing to any military wife or husband reservist or active you knew when you married the man or woman you married the military also. You loved him or her for what they are doing. I hate to admit it but I can't get over how well a man looks in a uniform whether the full dress or the BDU. I still great him like we just got married yesterday.

Vickie - posted on 06/08/2009

Hi Amy, My name is Vickie. I am married to an Air Force Reservist and he has been in for 28 years. Along with 8 yers of active duty under his belt. His full time job is also being an ART along with being a reservist. Even though he does not where the uniform all the time like active duty he is there are the base 5 to 7 days a week. You are doing the right thing by making sure he knows that you still love him and will be by his side even when you are not there even if he is not activated. If you have any questions for me do not hesitate to ask. Husband deployed to Iraq 3 years ago. It was the longest separation I experienced in the over 10 years we had been together. It was tough but my mother-in-law helped a lot since she was a military wife herself. Just know you can be strong for the man like I do, but I do break down when with friends and other military family for my comfort.

Jen - posted on 06/06/2009

Hi! I'm the wife of an Army reservist. He is currently on his second tour in Iraq, and should be home Sep 1st (but as I'm sure you know everything ALWAYS changes). He has been in for 7 years, and is to get out next year with 8 years in. We discussed him resigning up to retirement (which would be awesome!) but have since had a baby in April and decided he will be getting out Aug 2010, we don't want to do another deployment!

Samantha - posted on 06/06/2009

Hi! I am a wife of a reservist Marine who is away right now on his second deployment.


He has been in the corps for almost 10yrs and our daughter is 8 1/2. There isn't anything that prepare you for an acitvation and deployment, but I will tell you that the more Military wives you become close to, it will help you so much. They are the only ones who understand you because they can relate.

Amy - posted on 06/05/2009

Cynthia I thank you.... And I have to give you alot of credit.

Amy - posted on 06/05/2009

Hey Amanda, you will be able to handle it. I really admire what Cynthia said. " everytiem he puts the uniform on be proud of him" Remember he does this because he chose to and he really loves serving his country. And my kids like Cynthias think it is awesome when he uniforms up. They tell everyone thier step-dad is a soldier and they are proud of it.

Don't dread him tring to go active, support his decision. As an Army Wife I have learned that no matter what I love my husband, much like his commitment to the Army I am commited to him. Being married to a soldier is the toughest job you will ever have, but you know what I love every minute of it.

Amanda - posted on 05/27/2009

My husband is in the Air Force Reserves and has been away at tech school for 9 months. I have 3 children of my own and he has a son. We have none together yet. I am worried about him leaving again. I don't think I will be able to handle it. I didn't know it was going to be this tough. He is also trying to go in to be Active Duty and I am dreading it very much.

Cynthia - posted on 05/23/2009

I am a Navy reservist of 7.5 years AND an active duty Navy wife of 5. I have been activated 4 times but only mobilized once for 2 years. I have 2 children. Its scary yes, but, I know that I had my love and support of my husband and my children.

Right now, my husband is deployed for a year and I am still in the reserves. I know that at any given time I can be called up again, but its what I chose to do. My children think we are the coolest parents around when we put on our uniforms.

Don't dread that moment of "when". It will drive you crazy everytime he puts on the uniform. Instead, be proud of him and know that you support him one weekend a month or during activation. When the time comes for him to be activated, be there for him. Obviously, deployments are not new to him. He knows that in the back of your mind you are wondering when the day will come. Who knows, he may not even be activated in the time that he will have in the Guard.

Amy - posted on 05/21/2009

Well first of all congrates on the baby boy!!!! I have 4 childeren all together, 2 of my own and 2 step-daughters. We are working on one of our own. Our kids range from 7, 8,9, & 10. Of all 1 boy. And even though he is only 7, he is always telling us that he wants nothing more then to be like his step-dad.

It took me a awhile to get used to being with a military man, everything is different right down to the way that he folds his shirts. But it has been a long time that he has been in and he is very glued to the way that he does things. You said your hubby just got outta tech school, what is his MOS ( what did he go to school for )? My hubbys' is a Combat Engineer. You will get a hang of things, where are you guys from? It took so time but I balanced everything. I think what sometimes gets me the most is that he shows little emotion, and at times can be very hard to read. But I love being his wife, and seeing in the uniform is so worth it... LOL!!! If there is ever anything please feel free. I like this site, and it is rather comforting having other moms, & military spouses to talk with. It can be quite calming.

Amber - posted on 05/21/2009

hi i am a new wife of a new marine reservists. he hasnt been in long, just got back from tech school in feb. we just got married jan last year and then in dec had a baby boy. so i am pretty new with everything and still getting use to everything.