B!&ch B!&ch B!&ch

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2010 ( 60 moms have responded )

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why is it that most milt wives bitch about the life we all live... ladies we had a say in this life we did not have to marry our husbands i keep reading threw these conversations and when people are asking for advice all people are doing is bitching about the life they chose to marry into... ladies we are some of the stongest woman in the world we get left for years at a time and raise are kids alone, stand there strong as we watch them go and when there gone we sit around and bitch about how lonely we are and how we hate the milt for taking him....well guess what ladies this is the life he wanted if you are a dedicated wife you will just support your husband and keep the home safe and sound... that is our mission while there gone not sitting around bitching about how bad are lives are when there not here..... sorry to be a bitch or if any of you took this the wrong way but asking for advice should one thing we can give eachother not having to hear about other peoples problems with the milt......
*****just another army wife*****

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Misty - posted on 04/11/2010

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I just want to throw my two cents in...I thought this was supposed to be a support site??? You have no idea what these women are going through because each experience is independent to that person. Some spouses are new to this lifestyle and may have never experienced anything like it. Some are just looking for someone to relate or an outlet for their frustration. If venting on this site makes them feel better then who cares. My view is if you don't like it, don't read it. I am prior military so I have a much different view than most military wives but I can still empathize with those who don't understand how the military works. I feel like we are here to support one another so why dump on each other?

Kalisha - posted on 04/08/2010

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How long have you been a military spouse? If you been a spouse for a long time then you already know what to expect. I could complain that my husband was deployed three times back to back, but I didn't, I sucked it up and did what I had to do as wife.

I never stated that someone should leave a spouse over a maintenance issue, but I have seen marriages fall apart over things smaller than just that. Some just handle it or just decide that it's not something that they want to deal with.
Our military men and women need someone that is strong even in the toughest situations and what may be minor to you may not mean the same for me.
We all view things differently, but when something goes wrong or something doesn't get done right, but before I complain, I think about that person that has lost someone who was in the military and they will never see that person again.

I have saved a lot of marriages from going to the divorce court because I'm honest and I tell other spouses that if you really and truly love the person you are with, there is nothing that you will not do to make that military person's life easier to handle because we are their backbones but we must also let them know that they are our backbones as well.

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2010

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We forfeit our right to complain when we complain about other people complaining. Sorry Sarah, but you are bitching too. You may not be bitching about what others are bitching about....but you are still bitching. Thanks....I needed a good laugh today.

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Emily - posted on 03/21/2011

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I'm a navy wife and I couldn't have said it better myself. Some women want what comes with being a military wife but don't want to endure what many sacrifices we face. Strong women unite and realize we love our soldiers and would do anything for them.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/20/2011

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Who better to vent to than those who can relate? We all have our ups and downs. Obviously other people getting things off their chest annoys you. That sucks.
I go out to eat at a restaurant thus I am submitting myself to the food and service I will receive there. That doesn't mean that I'm going to like everything brought to me or the manner in which it was done.

Mary - posted on 03/19/2011

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some peole want to vent. my husband and i were married for 3 year when he come home and said that he wanted to join the navy. and yes we are strong. i think just let them vent.

Kathleen - posted on 05/10/2010

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so true!!! I married my husband before he made the decision to get in the AF, and as a couple, we discussed his desicion. We both knew what we were getting into, and decided that the good outweighed the bad. we may not enjoy our time apart, but when we are back together, life is better than ever! it has made us stronger as a family. we all understand his job can take him anywhere at any time, so we just make the most out of the time we have together! :) personally, if my husband was at home every day, i would probably go crazy! (i was raised in the military though, so i knew what to expect as a military spouse). Life is tough, but well worth it.

Tamitha - posted on 04/12/2010

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I agree. I am a fairly new military, Air Force wife (18 mo) but have been married for almost 5 years. He chose to make the jump to military after we married but I have tried to be supportive of what he is doing...even when that meant moving half-way around the world (Germany) from my family. You just jump in with both feet and look for the postive!

Amanda - posted on 04/11/2010

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lol tah...

thats funny.. i've definately known some pita women in general haha

Tah - posted on 04/11/2010

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o..i was gonna say..i had one last week...it was good...that would have been weird..lol..

Alycia - posted on 04/11/2010

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Kind of ironic that the post is to complain about people complaining... esp since I think one of the most difficult parts of military life is PITA wives.



(I'm not calling anyone here a PITA)

Suzette - posted on 04/11/2010

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Alycia, you're not the only one who doesn't agree... you might have misinterpreted some of the other posts. I think there's a difference between venting, complaining, and b!tching though. Like I've explained in earlier posts.

Alycia - posted on 04/11/2010

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I guess I'm the only one who doesn't agree with the topic starter. I really love being an army wife, but it doesn't mean that there aren't days I don't despise deers. I think you have that with any career. If my hubby was working a 9 to 5 I'm sure I'd hate some aspect of that too. I think the point of "b!tch[ing]" about it to to get some kind of understanding from people who live in similar circumstances



Though I'm usually not the kind to post about what I dislike about military life I believe most who do are just looking for a shoulder.

Jennifer - posted on 04/11/2010

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I love the military. It sucks that my husband's gone (9 months last year, so far 2 months out of 4 this year) but seriously, my life is wonderful besides that. I have unlimited health care for me and my daughter, and believe me, I use it since I take her when she has a runny nose or cries too much lol, I don't have to work and get to stay home and take care of my princess all day, I have a wonderful community of Moms that support each other through all these TDYs and deployments, I live on a tropical island, I live in a free house and don't pay anything, I never worry about making rent or my husband not getting paid, I have so many resources and benefits as a mom, wife, student, and woman, that civilians do not have, and if needed, my husband is trained to kick someone's ass! Every life has it's ups and downs and sometimes when I am lonely at night or would love someone to wake up with my litte girl at 6 am my mind wonders if the grass is greener on the other side... but we all just need to make the best of it and think about what we DO have, rather than what we DO NOT!

Suzette - posted on 04/11/2010

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@Barbara... I wish the judgments would stop, I just don't see it happening.

(I think a disclaimer is a great idea... your posts and my own, it seems that mine are taken the same way at times! Go figure... lol!)

Geri - posted on 04/10/2010

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By GOD, I am glad someone else posts these comments! Thank you, Sarah, and this goes for all those Fire Fighter, Police Officer and Ambulance workers also! It seems the people in these lines of work go through the hardest time! Both at work and at home!

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@Suzanne, absolutely! I am thinking I might make up a signature disclaimer saying that everything I write should be taken "in general," and not as gospel truth for every situation. ;) Also, I agree with what you're saying about the inability to be friends because you're judging each other. I think my point in that was, if we could all *drop* the prejudices and judgments, we might find someone who looks a whole lot like us underneath the surface. My three cents for what it's worth...ymmv. ;)

Suzette - posted on 04/10/2010

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Barbara, while I agree with almost everything you just said. The only thing I disagree with is that you can be friends with those that might be your best friend if you took the time to get to know them. While that is true in *some* cases, it isn't true in all, especially those that are already prejudging the ones who are venting and looking for support. If they're already doing that, then those who are judging them back by referring to them as the "perfect military wives" really are calling them as they're acting, if that makes sense.

[deleted account]

I like to say that I was the poster child for a maladjusted military wife. When I first got married...I HATED it. I hated if he worked late. I hated if he had duty. I *really* hated it when he went to the field or a six-week exercise. And now? I don't.



Now I volunteer with the unit, am fully involved in the life and sometimes think I've forgotten how to relate to 'civilians.' LOL



And my husband has been gone for a year now.



I think the issue here is just a matter of time and experience.



A lot of young wives come into service life with a certain idea of what a marriage is supposed to look like (I know I did), and unfortunately, that usually doesn't include the excessive hours of work, separation, and assorted challenges of military life. It takes time to transition from the mindset of civilian to military life. Some people may never get there...and for those, I think military life just isn't for them. Which is OK...! Everyone is different. But many of us grow, learn our new roles, adjust our expectations, and find a way to make it work.



I think a lot of the wives who "complain" aren't necessarily meaning to be unsupportive, but are just still trying to find their way in the life. In my 10+ years experience as a spouse, I have seen more than a few reluctant wives turn around with nothing more than time.



Personally, I've come to love the adventure of military life. The new people, the new experiences... but I also know that separations, etc., are part of the deal and there is nothing you can do about it. It is what it is. I choose to embrace my life and see the good.



I think a little understanding is due all the way around. Maybe wives who are negative need a supportive mentor to help show them the way and to find the good. Yes, they knew they were marrying a military guy...but lets face it...there really is no way to understand what it truly feels like to live this life until you actually get here. You may think you know, or intellectually realize that you're going to deal with certain things, but the reality is always different than your expectations.



And on the other hand, realize there is no such thing as "the perfect military wife." Stereotyping other spouses just blinds you to the unique individuals that might be your best friend if you actually took the time to get to know them.



Military life is a dish best served with friends. Have compassion for each other. We're all going through the same things and just doing the best we can.

Arielle - posted on 04/09/2010

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i agree i havent bitched, i have been military my whole life. i love it, but i do have to say there are somethings i dont like and wish were diff but i cant complain tooo much. and my hubie is delpoyed and i do miss him so much esp with our 7 month old at home to remind me of him everyday bc she looks just liek him! cant wait till he comes home!

Suzette - posted on 04/09/2010

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Yeah, bashing on the military is something that gets my blood boiling, regardless of who does it. ;)
haha! "Okay" with him leaving... good one!! LOL!

Amanda - posted on 04/09/2010

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Trust me, I've definately said that I hate the scranton(my husbands submarine) right now before, usually if they have to end up staying later than they were supposed to out to sea, or i just really miss my husband like crazy that day and my son happens to be a devil child that day also lol i've always lived in military towns and i think it's ridiculous that half the time even the police in the local area bash on the military.. so it makes me sooo sick to hear wives bash it... it's okay to be frusterated or sad, whatever, but when you bash, you make the miltary look horrible, because you are the one thats supposed to be standing up for it and believing in it the most. it's why you are "okay" with your husband leaving!! lol

Suzette - posted on 04/09/2010

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Amanda, I agree completely. I don't believe in bashing the military at ALL! On the same hand, I can see where someone gets frustrated and says (once, not constantly) "I really hate the Army, Navy, USMC, AF (etc.) right now!" It doesn't mean they're bashing it, it just means that at that very moment they're really frustrated with the whole system. (and by someone I mean a spouse or significant other.) I've heard wives and significant others do it because they're frustrated, they're not bashing they're just super frustrated because of something going on. In every day life, they love the military, but because of back to back deployments or field trainings, etc. they are frustrated. Do I hate the military? Hell no! Do I get frustrated? Hell yes! Am I guilty of saying something along the lines of, I really hate this aspect of the Army or I really hate the Army right now... yep, I sure am. But I don't say it everyday (or all the time for that matter) ... because I really do love my life with my husband, in the Army. I just don't like it all the time. I don't think any of us love it, or like it, all the time. If there are women out there that do, well more power to them.
In all honesty, I can count on one hand the number of times I've said it. For the women out there that truly hate it all the time, then I do understand the whole "bitching and complaining" irritation from other wives. That would irritate the hell out of me too. I haven't run into those women though. If I did, I'd tell them to find a way to like it because it won't change. You're right, we get enough bashing from outside of the military, we don't need it from within.

Amanda - posted on 04/09/2010

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Just to clarify... I don't care if you bitch... I'm just saying that people need to stop shitting on the military. I bitch all the time that I miss my husband, he was home a whole two months last year, and has been in a month out a month pretty much so far this year, with a deployment for later. So yeah, it sucks ass that they're not always home, or they have to work until 10 at night sometimes, or whatever. But I can't stand when women start talking crap on the military like it's soo horrible and they don't care about your family or your husband, that's bull. Sometimes things didn't work out as you had hoped or planned, but don't bash the military, enough people do that already. EVERYONE in the military has an important job and does their part for the country, not just your husband/fiance/boyfriend... no matter how much it may feel like that sometimes. You should comfort each other when your husbands are gone or when it gets hard, that's what other wives are there for, they know what you are going thru. Also, I've been military brat since birth, dropped it for a year, then married a navy guy four years ago... so yeah, I know all about how sucky it can be, and no, it's not something you get used to, whether it's your father or the man/woman you love constantly leaving.

Suzette - posted on 04/09/2010

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Michelle, the difference between those that think they're perfect and the rest of the military wives (or gf's/fiance's) is that the rest of them don't have a problem admitting that they have faults. Faults like needing to vent to a discussion board full of other military wives (gf's/fiance's). For some reason it's seen as "taboo" here.

It's a wonderful thing knowing that other discussion boards exist where there are military wives who don't judge about the fact that we all have bad days. Maybe it's just that they remember what it's like... or maybe they're grown enough not to throw judgment around.

Michelle - posted on 04/09/2010

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Suzette....I have to say that I totally agree with everything you have said. I refuse to believe that these "perfect military wives" have NEVER complained about anything. Everyone deals with trials differently than others...thats obvious since there are some "Holier than Thou" military wives who MUST have had the perfect military experience and really dont have anything to complain about. But like I said...Im sure they have complained about something at some point. Being married to the military is a learning process...the more experience you get...the less likely you are to complain. What good is a support site if you cant get any support? Seriously ladies!!! Believe it or not...there is a solution to the complaining....keep scrolling down and ignore it. I do. I dont like to hear about all the bitching...but what can I do about it? Its whatever to me. I can either offer my support or I will just ignore it....but I never get on there and tell them to just get over it and deal with it. I never tell them "You knew what you were getting into so you have no right to complain". Thats utter bullshit.

NEWS FLASH: Everyone complains about the life they choose...whether they are in the military or not. And guess what? Some that are IN the military complain too. Some people just do a better job dealing with it than others. If you cant SUPPORT a woman who is in the same boat as you...feel free to ignore us. We are human....we ALL complain. Experienced military wives complain about how the newbies are always complaining and the Newbies complain about the things they are experiencing for the first time. Just like I am complaining right now about how ridiculous this whole conversation is......REALLY?

Are there certain things about the USMC that irritate the hell out of me? YES.
Are there days where I wish my boyfriend wasnt a Marine? YES
Are there days where he calls me and says we cant go on our vacation because he has to work? YES
Do I like it? HELL NO
Is there anything I can do about it? NO
But am I proud to be a USMC girlfriend? HELL YES I AM!!!!

I completely understand that I have no control over what the military does with my boyfriend.....but no one said I had to like it. I just have to deal with it the BEST WAY I can. For some, that is to complain. For others, its to suck it up. Not every military spouse can be as perfect as those who get their kicks from telling the newbies to get over it. Remember...you were a newbie at one point too.

Suzette - posted on 04/08/2010

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Actually, I'm the opposite. I'm one of those that supports people. The only thing I've complained about is the maintenance. It's always great to see people jumping to conclusions though. ;)

Katherine - posted on 04/08/2010

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You must be one of the complainers. Have fun with all this. I made my opinion. Don't complain about a life you choose. It's simple, and it's true. Good luck with yours. :)

Suzette - posted on 04/08/2010

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"Yeah be sad that your husband is gone, be worried, but do not complain about it!!"

It wasn't stated, in the topic, what it was that was being complained about - other than "most military wives complaining about the military." (Though complaining wasn't the word used...lol) Sorry, if someone is having a craptastic day and it's not their "norm" to complain but it happens to feel like the whole world is just taking a crap in their front yard... they should be able to vent. even if that includes griping that their husband isn't there or that the military has decided to keep him an extra week in the field, or what the hell ever has pissed them off. If ya'll want to look at it as complaining, go for it. It is venting unless the person is doing it ALL the damn time over and over about the SAME things every chance they get... then that's complaining and bitching. And yes, there's a difference. If they're doing nothing but finding excuses to whine and complain just because they can... then it's a little different.

"These groups are a good place to get support" You're right, they are. I wonder how they're going to find support when they need to vent/rant about something when someone is telling them they should be shutting their mouths. Like I said complaining and venting are different things. But unless you're on here constantly and you know the common participants of the board, you won't know who the complainers are and who those are who really need support.

Katherine - posted on 04/08/2010

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"this is their sounding board, or any other public discussion board that is there for "support" that's like it."

Apparently you don't get it. This isn't about complaining about maintnance, this is about people complaining about the life they choose. Yeah be sad that your husband is gone, be worried, but do not complain about it!! And if all people can do is complain about the military life instead of sucking it up and dealing with it, then they shouldn't have choosen it. What good does complaining do? Nothing. If someone doesn't like this life then they can change that, instead of complaining about it. As I said earlier, be sad, be worried, or whatever, but do not complain. These groups are a good place to get support, but I do not think that it is right for people to come on and just complain and complain about a life they chose!

Amanda - posted on 04/08/2010

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okay... people get divorced because they DONT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY and think marraige is just another word for dating... they dont feel that its something they need to work on, if it gets too hard, you can just leave... THATS why marraiges dont last, or because someone screwed up in the marraige and you decided it wasnt worth it to try to work it out, or u didnt marry the person u thought u were marrying, or aren't ready for that kind of commitment but were too slow in realizing that... not because of maintenance issues... wth??? lol my fridge is broke, sorry sweetheart but this isn't working...lol come on now...



anyways... it's one thing to get depressed a bit when ur husband is gone, my husband is gone for a little while right now and has been gone a LOT this past two years and it isn't gonna change for atleast another year, trust me, i get missing them... BUT it is ANNOYING AS HELL and verryyyy unamerican IMO to start bashing the military and saying they dont give a crap about the families and whatnot(they're defending your country, so ur family can be safe)... u weren't bashing them when they delivered ur children free of charge or paid for ur college, or ur kids college, house... or any health problems, or whatever u happened to have for dinner... yeah... it's rude enough when you have to put up with civilians that hate on the military for whatever reason they can think of, military/dependents don't need to add to it!! sorry, but it gets old... i love my husband, and i'm very proud of everything he does, i miss him like crazy... but i'll be there for him when he gets back... and i am very appreciative for everything we have thanks to the military.

Suzette - posted on 04/08/2010

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Laura I don't understand that either, but for some it helps them. I know some people do it because they don't have any friends where the duty station is, some because of health issues, etc. Personally, we live in base housing and I'm not going anywhere for more than 30 days or we forfeit our home if no one is here. Even if that weren't the case, I don't think I'd want to go back home anyway.

Suzette - posted on 04/08/2010

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It matters how long I've been a military spouse because why? If you'd read my earlier posts, you already know enough about me. You've obviously read the one in response to you and that was it.
You don't tell people to get divorced because they're having issues, that isn't the answer. Regardless of how minor the issues are. Usually when a couple is having issues, even small ones, there are larger underlying issues. Any psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor will tell you that.

And while you didn't say that people should leave one another over a maintenance issue, this thread is about people who are "who are bitching about the life they chose to marry into and how bad their lives are when their husband's aren't there. As well as those bitching about the military for taking their husbands and being lonely."

So, as you stated in your "I could not have said it better myself. I say either love and stand by your spouse or leave. No one forces anyone to do things that they do not want to do," hypothetically speaking, if I were sitting around irritated because maintenance doesn't do crap for me unless my husband calls so I was irked because I was getting the run around, and venting about that situation? Unsupportive and griping about the military because I might state that I wished he were here to deal with it? Because that's how your statement came across. (Personally, I wouldn't let my husband know the extent of the situation but that's besides the point.)

And you said it perfectly in your own post: "what may be minor to you may not mean the same for me."
People need to remember that when they're flinging judgment around about other military wives. The ones who have just started out and the ones who have been around a while. Just because it's not a big deal to someone who's been here a while doesn't mean it isn't a big deal to someone who's new. That's what this whole "sisterhood" is supposed to be about, supporting and whatnot. Except it doesn't work out that way because everyone says that everyone else is bitching about this and that. Instead of trying to remember that they weren't always who they are now, instead of trying to remember the times that they've broken down... maybe because they don't want to admit it. If they're too proud to admit that they've had bad days, that they were once in those shoes, then maybe they're too damn proud and stuck up to be paid attention to by anyone anyway. (Just my opinion)

You're right, we all view things differently, and my view is that everyone deserves a chance. Even if it's some new blubbering wife whose husband just left or is just leaving and she doesn't have the faintest clue on what she's going to do. Or she just needs an hour to get a bunch of crap off her chest. To me that doesn't mean that she isn't supporting her husband, her family, or her country. It just means that she's having a really crappy day and she needs a shoulder.

They're not the only ones who are our backbones... we're supposed to be there for one another and be each others' backbones as well. We can't do that if we're sitting around bitching about that one bitching and vice versa. We all gripe about something, whether it's the way that someone parents their children, the fact that the neighbors play their music too loud, the damn neighbors dog is barking at all hours (again!), maintenance is a pain in the butt, OR the military just decided to up and send someone's husband off without notice. So... we all do it. We're all guilty to some extent, whether it's in military or not. If it is actually bad enough to cause a divorce, there were bigger issues there than just the bitching. And if people can't admit that truth, that's their problem.

Laura - posted on 04/08/2010

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I completely agree with the topic starter. I do think we all need someone to talk to about all that we go through. Maybe if we all had someone to confide in and vent to some wouldn't bitch about it. It is very hard raising children on your own and then worrying about your husbands safety. It's hard but we are all strong women. What I don't understand is how women move out with their husbands to their duty station and then as soon as they're delpoyed they run back home??

Suzette - posted on 04/08/2010

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"I could not have said it better myself. I say either love and stand by your spouse or leave. No one forces anyone to do things that they do not want to do."

You're telling me that because I want to vent about a maintenance issue, housing and whatnot, that I'm not supporting my husband and I should leave? No wonder the divorce rates are the way they are. If people went to marriage counselors handing out advice like that, the divorce rates would be even worse!

Suzette - posted on 04/08/2010

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"I'm not perfect and sometimes I cry to my mom because I'm alone in Cali, but I do not go and post complaints on public sites. It's wrong in so many ways."

It's great to have a mother, family member, or friend to turn to when you feel the need to cry or vent, right? I've met military wives that DO NOT have that option. Their parents are deceased and that was the only family they had. Or they were in the foster system, no family at all. And friends? Well we know what civilian friends can be like once you marry into the military, at least I do. They sometimes vanish, they might be there once in a while... but not all the time. So for those who do not have anyone to run to when they need to cry or vent... this is their sounding board, or any other public discussion board that is there for "support" that's like it.

The only time I have a problem with someone who is seemingly "bitching" or "whining" is when they're doing it about the same crap over and over and over again. Then it gets old. And those are usually the people I can't stand to be friends with either. Everyone, at some point, gets frustrated with the military.

Kalisha - posted on 04/08/2010

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I could not have said it better myself. I say either love and stand by your spouse or leave. No one forces anyone to do things that they do not want to do.

Katherine - posted on 04/08/2010

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Oh my! lol. Why complain about a life we choose? Even if you were married when your husband signed, you had a say. I did. It's hard and sometimes it sucks, but it is what it is. I'm pregnant, I have a 3 year old son, my husband is deployed (going on convoys), and my closest family is 2000 miles away, but this life was my choice. It is extremely hard, but our hubbys have it even harder. There are a lot of downsides to military life (seperations being the main one) but there are downsides no matter what kind of life you have military or not. I'm not perfect and sometimes I cry to my mom because I'm alone in Cali, but I do not go and post complaints on public sites. It's wrong in so many ways. Advice is always helpful and when you have a problem or a question there's nothing wrong with trying to find an answer, but there is a way to go about it without complaining about the military life that we all chose.

Michelle - posted on 04/08/2010

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Sarah...you are an Army wife....so some of the things you have to "put up with" on a regular basis may not be what a Marine wife has to put up with...or a Navy wife...or an Air Force wife...etc. Even though military is military...all branches are different in their own way. There are some women who have not had to deal with such stress due to the nature of their husband's job. All jobs in the military arent the same....some may be harder than others. For instance, my boyfriend works on aircraft. He works 12 hour days sometimes and if we are lucky...he works Saturdays as well....but if he were to move to the schoolhouse and teach...his hours would change....and benefit the rest of his family. Other situations differ as well. I guess you just have to take a step outside that box, put yourself in someone else's shoes and TRY to relate to them. Everyone.....EVERYONE bitches about the unfairness of the US military at some point. But that doesnt change the fact that we are all in the same boat...for the most part. I completely understand that sometimes it can be a bit discerning to hear about others issues with the military...especially if they arent as bad as our own experiences....but remember...you were once in this position as well....and its a lot different when the shoe is on the other foot. God Speed to you and your family and I hope you find peace with this situation.

Sarah - posted on 04/08/2010

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alot of good points and i guess i was bitching in my own way... but reading about others problems with the milt kinda gets annoying at times... i did not mean to step on any other wives toes its just frustrating... everyone has to relise there are some people that have been in the same place as you...they juyst choose not to SCREAM there problems out...good luck ladies...sarah

Suzette - posted on 04/07/2010

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Everyone's gotta gripe about something at some point. Some of us are actually high risk and need some kind of help during pregnancy. Though I don't count on the military to give me the help I'm going to need throughout this pregnancy, that's kind of like counting on the weather in fort campbell to stay the same. I feel for you Kristi, I'm not saying I don't because I'm also high risk, but I don't count on the military for crap. They change their minds in an instant about anything.

And, as Michelle pointed out, Sarah you're just griping about those who are griping. Why not just let those who need to vent do their venting? Everyone gets frustrated with it, but everyone including those stronger than strong military wives have their bad days and need to vent. Whether we want to look at it as a bunch of b*tching or not, that's our problem, not really theirs.

And Jennifer is right, I married my husband after he was already in for almost 12 yrs... I could very well have said hell no if I wanted to... but I chose to marry him and support his already chosen career choice. It was MY choice where I landed, but for those who joined along with their spouses, technically you could have left, but I would've tried to support my spouse too, even if that meant venting a little here and there because you didn't fully understand what was going to happen.

Medic - posted on 04/07/2010

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I agree....I love how apparently military life is a great big secret so no one knows what its like till they marry into it apparently.....and if your husband joins after yall are married than it's your choice to stay or go.....

Tah - posted on 04/07/2010

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They say alot of things, this is the life we live. Lots of wives are high risk, "need" help and all the other things, but the military probably figured you would survive and make it through, like the rest of us, and it seems like you did.

Paige - posted on 04/07/2010

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LOL Tah, its like a monthly news letter... somebody has to stoke the frickin embers

I'll some it up

This is a support group

some people bitch

other people support

some people bitch about supporting

others support bitching...

the moral to the story is we all don't handle thing the same way, some need hand holding, some hold hands. some have been in this rodeo for quite some time, some are fresh out of the gate and are getting thrown around like rookies.

others just look like the clowns.

that some it up?

Kristi - posted on 04/07/2010

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Well after being told they would help me because they knew I was pregnant before they sent him and also that I would have no choice but to have a c-section due to previous complications of my son's birth, it just pissed me off that they decided to "turn their backs" on me as soon as he was out of the country and I wasnt aloud to fly home for being high risk. Mine was more of an emergency than me just wanting someone to be there. If it was just the fact of wanting it I wouldnt have been so upset or mad about it. But I honestly NEEDED the help from anyone. We had 2 weeks to prepare for deployment which changed our wedding date to 6 days before he left so I was on my own to get myself on DEERS, TriCare, etc etc and didnt complain about any of it when I couldnt get the answers that I needed.

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