Can anyone give me advice?

Ashley - posted on 02/23/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My finace is thinking about joining the army and if he does then we are going to get married in May of this year. Im just woundering if anyone can give me some advice and tell me what to expect when he goes to basic and what not. Id greatly appreicate it im nervous and just wanting advice.

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Alexandria - posted on 02/24/2012

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Basic training and being a private (the entry rank) are hard times for a soldier, not that it's ever easy. You'll both have to get used to the military lifestyle and prepare to be uprooted, sent anywhere in the country or world that your husband's MOS is desired and that's when you're lucky enough to be able to go with him. In large part, the military experience is what each soldier and their family decides to make of it. Having a spouse's unwavering support helps the soliders: someone to vent to, maybe someone to cook a good meal or help with laundry after a labor intensive day on post, to help take care of other personal responsibilities when they are busy or deployed, a familiar, loving person to come home to after they've been yelled at all day. In my opinion, it takes a nurturing spouse, family or some form of dedicated support to counteract all they deal with in their careers. Even after being best friends for 13 years, 10.5 of which he's been in the military and 4 years of marriage, there is so much I dont fully understand about how the military operates and it can be frustrating dealing with how often they change their minds and how they can be so oblivious to the needs of the family members who have lives outside the military. For example, no one followed through to acquire childcare they told us would be provided and that we paid in advance for, for the manditory attendance military ball with open bar (they always provide childcare for events like that and in the rare case when they aren't going to, plenty of notice for everyone to make their own plans is just common sense) and it was then suggested at the last minute (day before ball) that we bring our 2 yr old to the late night, black tie event where a few soldiers were so drunk they were dancing in water fountains. That's all fine for adults but not what I want to subject a toddler to, not to mention the swarm of intoxicated soldiers we probably shared traffic space with as we left the ball that night. We had to scramble to find a baby sitter at the last mintue and instead of the ball being an enjoyable experience as I really should be to congradulate the joes on a job well done abroad, it was a source of frustration, trying to fit into the one size fits all mold provided. Having to keep your mouth closed about the political side of military, how the different ranks interact, the over all treatment of the joes, etc is difficult for someone like myself. If I stepped out of line and told them how I feel about certain things, it could be really bad for his career but sometimes I'm pushed so far that I feel I need to stand up for these soldiers and I have to find outlets to calm myself down rather than allow myself to create more problems for him. After all, like I said, there is only so much I even understand so I should just keep my silence. Just when I think I've got a good plan and idea of what to expect, things change. I use to let it bother me, like the issue with the ball, but I just have to get over that and go with the flow for our own good.



On a more positive note, I am very proud to be a military spouse. I know my husband works extremely hard and it is my delight to give him as much support as I can so he and his team can continue to do their best work for our country. In return for our sacrifices we have good health care and a multitude of opportunities available to us.



If you have any more specific questions, feel free to contact me and I, with the help of my husband, will try to get you any info you need to help make your decision. Enlisting is not something to be taken lightly but it can be a wonderful way of life if you allow it to be.

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