Christmas with my kids but without there Dad:(

Kelly - posted on 12/28/2009

You are a very strong lady, I admire that!!!! Thanks for your response God Bless you and your family!!!!

JL - posted on 12/28/2009

This was our fourth Christmas without my husband and my oldest is 6 years old so she has ony had daddy home for 2 Christmases and my youngest is 2 so he has yet to have daddy home for Christmas.

It doesn't get easier but it does become normal to the point that you focus on the positives and just make it is fun and lovng for the kids. We make sure to emphasize that one of their presents is a special present just from daddy, which puts a big smile on their faces. I have them write daddy special CHristmas letters. We also use skype to video talk so they can actually see and talk to daddy live and show him what all they got for Christmas..that way he is somewhat a part of the holidays.

Sarah - posted on 12/27/2009

It all depends on the deployment and the issues that arise. Some deployments will be easier than others and some will be just downright horrid - it all depends on how you want the deployment to go and your mindset when it starts. Deployment #1 we were engaged and planning a wedding (no kids at the time). Deployment #2, our oldest was 7 weeks old when Jethro left 2 weeks before Christmas - Alex and I went to stay with family for the 6 months and it seemed to fly by really fast. Deployments 3 and 4 were rapid deployments so we didn't have time to think before he was gone and luckily the conflicts didn't last too long so he was home soon after he left. Deployment 5, I had to have knee surgery and was pregnant with our 2nd - luckily my parents came out and we had a lot of friends that were able to help while he was gone. Deployment 6, our second son was diagnosed with epilepsy and was in the screening process for Asperger's (high functioning autism), so I really didn't have a lot of time to think about him being gone. Deployment 7, our 3rd son had his second set of ear tubes put in and our 4th son diagnosed with high functioning Infantile Autism - excessive social. Deployment 8, we moved from one section of housing to another section (5 whole blocks!) a month after he left and then we had an unexpected miscarriage (i had a tubal after the 4th was born, so this was a shock to say the least) just before Thanksgiving and we're still not completely over it. Deployment 9 (our current) has been a little more difficult than usual - we weren't ready for him to be gone again, but we're holding together the best we know how and know that he's looking for orders and praying for shore duty!! Even with everything going on with each deployment, they seemed to get easier - probably because we were in the "deployment brain" and knew we could do anything and usually better without Daddy around (he doesn't like that fact, but has gotten used to it!). Utilize your teenagers - they truly are a god-send! Alex just turned 12 and has been babysitting to earn his "play" money for a year now - he uses his $1.50 per hour per brother for his camping trips each month and to pay for his Boy Scout summer camps each summer, plus whatever is left over he puts in the bank for a rainy day (or video game that comes along that he doesn't want to wait for his birthday or Christmas to get). Find a lot of kid friendly activities - we do Scouts, the drive in, bowling alleys, anything that keeps the kids busy and you can find adult conversation!! If your command has a Family Readiness Group (or Support Group - depends on the service what it's called now a days), look into what they're doing. We host a night out each month - one month it's adults only, the next it's family based - to try to get spouses out so they can meet each other. We're all in the same boat, why not float together? : ) Hopefully your deployment gets better and we're here if you need to chat! Happy New Year!!

Jamie - posted on 12/27/2009

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, I too was without my husband this year and it was our son's first Christmas. The good thing is he's only 6 months so he doesnt really know the difference.

Kelly - posted on 12/26/2009

I have great respect for all of you that responded and to all others in our same situation. To any of you does it get any easier the more times they are gone? I find it a bit harder this time with 2 little ones, my teenage girls do help out with the boys here and there but I feel bad sometimes asking them.

Sarah - posted on 12/25/2009

Yeah, this is #3 of everything - 3rd Thanksgiving, 3rd Christmas, 3rd New Year's, 3rd Anniversary, 3rd set of birthdays, 3rd school year, etc. If it had been our 3rd total over a number of years, it wouldn't be so bad, but 3rd straight without a break is getting really old. Now with the possibility of next Christmas, too...I'm so glad he retires in a little over 5 yrs!! :-) We did the webcam thing - thankfully he has internet in his room (boy have they come a long way since our first deployment with just snail mail!!) so the boys got to see him and tell him all about what they got. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and let the countdown to the many homecomings begin (5 months, xx days to go here!!)!!!!! :-)

Alexandra - posted on 12/25/2009

wow #3...it's like that for thanksgiving this past was our 3rd not being together. we got to have a video conference today but my son didn't want to talk to him. hope you had a good christmas

Melissa - posted on 12/25/2009

my boys and i are without my husband too. this is the first christmas he has missed. so i have been tryong to make today fun for them. they got to see dad and talk to him online and they loved it. hope all had a great christmas.

Sarah - posted on 12/25/2009

I feel for ya - this is Christmas #3 in a row that Jethro's been gone, #4 in 5 yrs (05,07,08,09), and we just got word he may be gone again next Christmas as well. Our 5 yr old has come to the conclusion that Daddy must be Santa since he's always gone this time of year. At least you were able to spend it with family, albeit his family, but family still. Have a Merry Christmas!!
Sarah, Alex, Nick, Hunter, and Dylan missing our Jethro...

Kelly - posted on 12/25/2009

I hope all goes well with your family also. Merry Christmas!!

Alexandra - posted on 12/24/2009

we also are spending christmas w/o daddy and no family since i wasn't able to go back home but we will be spending christmas day with some friends so hopefully that'll be good. hope you enjoyed your christmas.