Deployment...

Ria - posted on 03/10/2011

It does help to keep yourself busy as you probably will when the baby comes. I'm 38wks pregnant and hubby is also scheduled to deploy. And its also okay to cry sometimes...that helps too! But you also have to remember that we chose military life to be with the man we love and this is part of it. It also helps to remind yourself you're not the only military spouse experiencing this. They got through it, so why can't we? That's why I think military wives are the strongest of all. I mean besides all the usual marriage and family struggles, we also have to deal with deployments, irregular schedules, frequent moving, and being away from family and friends we grew up with. And yeah, your hubby is probably trying to stay strong for both of you..it's probably hard for him too..it is after all his first child, and he can't do anything about his orders. Just be strong and try looking for activities on base for you and your child..that way, you'll have the chance to meet other people and maybe get support from those who went through the same thing! But you know, whatever works for you! I wish you all the best!

Laura - posted on 03/10/2011

It sucks no matter how you look at it. My hubby left for another deployment when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with my second baby. Your hubby is probably calm about it because he thinks it helps you. Men don't understand that we need to get it emotionally out and talk about it. They see it as if they are strong, calm, and non-emotional about it, then they are helping you be the same. We are made differently. You said this will be his first child. He is preparing himself emotionally to be gone away for you and his baby he has never meet. My would suggest that you just tell him you need to talk it out in order to help you. You are stronger than you think and will make it through this. Hugs!

Heather - posted on 03/10/2011

I can understand what you are going through. My husband was deployed when my 2 year old was born and it was the hardest thing that I ever had to go through. I became pregnant the week before he left and did not find out until he was already gone. Then he did not get to see our son until he was almost four months old.

I wanted to share a poem with you that I wrote while I was expecting. I hope that it may somehow help a little. Good luck with everything.



"When Father and Baby Meet"



I have this child inside of me,

But at birth his father he will not see.

He will not hear his loving tone,

Unless it is over the telephone.



He will not see the love in his eyes,

The eyes that I know he'd idleize.

He will not know his safe imbrase,

Or see the love upon his face.



For his father now is far away,

Fighting "The War on Terror" people say.

So for now I will try to be strong,

And let him know he is not alone.



In my arms I will hold him tight,

And tell him his daddy loves him every night.

I will let him know that it won't be long,

Until his dad is safe at home.



A few more months is all he'll wait,

Then we'll see his dad come through the gate.

I can not wait till they get to meet,

That sight I know, will be so sweet.



I can not wait until that day is here,

He'll see me smile from ear to ear.

What a wonderful moment that I will see,

For the first time, face to face, they both will be.

Rebecca - posted on 03/07/2011

Oh I just saw on your profile that you are at Ft. Hood just like me, so I definitely would love to get together with you or help you with whatever you need, maybe... I was gonna say coffee but since your prego maybe something else. Oh I just started a crafting club too and would love to have you join!! Search Fort Hood Craft Club on facebook.

Rebecca - posted on 03/07/2011

I went completely crazy when this happened to me. My husband deployed early january 2 yrs ago when i was due in March. It hurt me so bad and I was so depressed and angry with him. No one could say anything right to me to make me feel better. I just wanted him home. So I sympathize with you and don't know or have anything to tell you on how to deal. You just cry sometimes ,you just try to find something to keep you busy. Maybe you can try to get away for a nice weekend before he leaves. I really feel for you and wish you much strength and the best for your situation.

Kimberly - posted on 03/07/2011

He's seeing it as no problem, but we are the ones left behind to deal with everything. If you are having a hard time dealing with everything then I say find some help on base. I am a Navy wife, so not sure where to tell you to go for some counseling. But in the Navy it would be Fleet and Family Support Center. I will be going through the next deployment so far from family. The first time I moved back home and had an almost 1 year old. But this time, I am staying here, my used to be 1 year old is almost 3 and we have a baby due in June. Hubby leaves soon around that time. So I'm about as stressed as anything. I think it is normal to be afraid, but at the same time, if you are finding it really hard to cope, maybe get some help.
Deep breaths, everything will be ok! But because he is deploying try to avoid fighting. Ask yourself "Is this really that important?" He knows you are stressing out, he doesn't know how to help though probably. Hope you find this helpful!