divorce, child support alimony questions.

EYDY - posted on 08/30/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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wow its amazing how i am not the only one going through this is sick how military man are just cheaters left and right. but yet some kind of heroes.. not to us or our kids.. i have been married to a marine for 14 years have 2 kids that we went through infertility treatment to have them. when my second one was born i caught him on the chatting apps day and night lied about went to counseling and still lied.. and denied doing it. he got orders to japan but i decided not go because it was just too much for me and my lil ones to go handle with not having any help or support from him it was always arguing and fighting and screaming in front of my babies at the time. we decided i would move back to my home state with some fam. and he came back 3 months later to visit and i realized that my older one got affected by him not being around and after 3 months of not having him around things were better we missed each other so i was schedule to move to japan with my girls and he got sent to the philiphines and he cheated on me with a 21 year old told me that every single marine does that while in that island even higher ups that they get some kind of class to keep quiet about it.. sick!! so he cancelled our trip and he stopped calling me told me he didnt love me and he wanted a divorce.. well after 7 months went by he decided to come and visit but all this cheating i did not know about until after hes second visit. its been a year and he has not come to visit hes daughters hes schedule to come to the states in exactly a month.. he has been supporting us financially since day one.. i am a stay home that decided to go to school just to be ready for the worst and im about to finish a one year program.. my question is if anyone out there knows how this divorce crap goes.. How much child support do i get and how much alimony do i rate and for how long because he keeps telling me that he would only give me like 150 per kid a month and alimony only for a few months until i get a job.. he is an E-5 marine been in for 11 years he gets paid pretty good.. so to me that doesnt sound right and after him fn up my life and my kids life i want to make sure he pays back some how and hes money will be good enough for me for right now.. because my kids are used to a pretty good life style from the day they were born.. and stupid military man that cheat and abandon their families that easy should get punished and in trouble because we go through as much shit as they do when we are spouses.. someone anyone please help!! thanks

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Jessica - posted on 09/05/2012

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First, I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I am a veteran and was an Army wife once I got out. I went through a divorce as well and still know the rules of the military. First, you need to get a lawyer. Don't worry about how much it costs, you can ask that the judge makes him pay for fees. As far as child support and alimony that is up to the judge and what state regulation/standards are. The military has NO say in how much he can or can't give. Now, what they are good for is enforcing that he pays child support. I have two boys with my ex and I didn't ask for alimony. But I do receive 1580 a month from him. The child support is only 1000 but I had them put in the amount for splitting daycare costs. Your best bet is to find a lawyer and ensure that your husband is going to follow all the rules the state your in has in place. Don't worry, it'll work out for you!

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JAG is the place where you get Legal Assistance/advice. They have attorneys there BUT they do not do family court stuff. And YES, you are entitled to his entire BAH. He will get into trouble for not giving it to you. BAH at the "with dependent" rate is specifically to take care of family. Hubby and I just went to an overseas briefing where Finance was there and made a special point to make the personnel aware of the purpose for BAH/with. Be strong.

Pam - posted on 09/02/2012

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I have been lucky enough to not have to go through this but I have friends that have this is what I learned from them.If you have been married to him for over 10 years of his military service and he decides to retire you are entitled to half of his retirement pay but you have to make sure it is in the divorce papers. During the separation period before the divorce you are entitled to his entire BAH plus child support. One of my friends gets 700/mo for her one child after the divorce was finalized and her husband was an E4. Another friend gets 500/mo per child and her husband is an E5 but that divorce was her cheating not him. I'm not sure about the alimony it seems to vary depending on the judge and circumstances one friend has it until she finishes her doctorate another until she finishes her bachelor's, one until she remarries, and the other got alimony for 6months.

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As far as JAG, you'll need to get there before him. They will only help whoever gets to them first. The other person will have to go thu an outside lawyer, or to another installation for JAG's help. Also, sometimes the help you get from JAG may seem... well, remember they're military, and military takes care of there own. There is a chart online if you google for child support & alimony. is. I'm not sure what it. I just seen and helped a few close friends get thru divorce. It is definitely more than $150, for positive. I am sorry you are dealing with this, truly unfortunate. Best of luck to you.

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Tah - posted on 09/06/2012

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SO just talked my neighbor, her friend just went through a divorce from an E-5 and she gets 812 a month for child support. He didn't want to set up the allotment, so she called his commander who sat him down and made him set up the allotment while he watched and they took the full amount at first so he ended up with around a 100 dollar check..LMBO...I'm sorry, but these guys are ridiculous..It is definitely cheaper to act right and keep her....

Tah - posted on 09/02/2012

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I clicked funny, because he really thinks he will get off scotch free. Now, Pam, I thought that the 10 year rule went up in the last couple of years, is this not the case?...EYDY...get on it girl..

EYDY - posted on 08/31/2012

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Thanks for your help.. what is Jag? i am not familiar with any legal stuff. yeah some how has told me that he hast to pay 20% of hes pay for each child and alimony is about half the time we were legally married.. thanks again for reading my post.

Tah - posted on 08/31/2012

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BTW.when he finds out how much he really has to pay..well, just watch his face..LOL

Tah - posted on 08/31/2012

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$150 per child isn't correct...I am supposed to get 406 a month for one child, he is my child from before marrying my husband. He is just trying to deter you. I am sorry for you ladies that have to go through the cheating. I have been with my husband for over 6 and half years and haven't had any issues with this at all. I would be devastated if it happened, but am glad I have something to fall back on. I am also glad you had the good sense to go back to school. Go talk to a lawyer. Consults are free, even Jag. Don't tell him you are doing it and do it before he gets home. In some states you have to be seperated for a certain amount of time, so if you are going to do it, you need to start making moves.

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