Does anyone ever get sad that their children won't have roots as military kids?

Leigh - posted on 06/17/2009

Sometimes. I was actually in the Military (just retired in Nov after 22 years). It was a life choice for me but the kids don't get the choice. However if you look at the positive they get to meet all kinds of people, see different cultures (we moved to Quebec three years ago and the boys are learning French and that not everyone speaks English). Also, they go to school with other children of Military parents and form instant friendships because of having that in common. It is always nice to meet up with the same friends when we get posted somewhere else. I get to feeling like staying put after 22 years, but then again, I get to meet new people as well and there is always a great supportive community when we get to a new place. People that understand what we are dealing with and are so helpful in getting us settled and other ways. Plus you have all of us here. We aren't going anywhere no matter where we live :).

Nicole - posted on 06/17/2009

I think moving around gives our kids something they can never get staying in one place. They get to see and learn things from all over the country or world that they otherwise would not have seen or done. I call it our 3 year vacations. We do absolutely all we can in the area we are in and see everything that area has to offer before we move to experience it all. We also let our daughter have her own cell phone and set her up an email account, we never change our cell phone numbers no matter where we move so that all our friends and hers will always have our numbers to stay in touch. We also visit family twice a year so our child has established friends there as well to visit like clockwork. We've moved 13 times in the past 14 years and our child has tons of friends, at 12 years old she has adjusted pretty well.

Christal - posted on 06/15/2009

Yes i think about it all the time, i just had a baby girl New years eve 08. my husband has been in the navy for 11 years, he plans on being in the full 30. so our daughter will grow up moving every 3 years. it stinks, cause i hate moving for 1. and 2, my friend in HS was always moving around to different cities never staying long enough to make long time friends. and i knwo its difficult

Melani - posted on 06/15/2009

Quoting Leigh:

No,,my hubby has been in the Navy for 22 yrs, and we have a 12 and 7 year and have moved a handful of times. I think its actually good for them,,they become fway more adaptable to change, become more independent and self-sufficient.  They love seeing new places nad different climates and meet new friends. And Im a believer that "roots"  dont have to be a physical location.. Your "family" as a whole when going places together, moving etc,,are your roots!! Keep your family as a unit and do things together and thats what's important and mostly what "they" will remember most, the things you did together, not how many times you moved or the stress we as grown-ups  feel when moving! good luck!!! Kids are resiliant!! (spelling)??
 

I so agree with you! I think our roots are spread out thru out the whole pacific. My children still remain friends with those they have met, via the internet and thankfully one price long distance! LOL I am fortunate that our family has done a great job keeping up with our kids and wanting to be in their life even tho we are so far away.

Katrina - posted on 06/12/2009

They will have roots all over the place! The military affords opportunities to experience so much more than they could experience in one city. Make the most of it and teach them to be flexible and happy. Friends are still friends when there are miles between.

Donna - posted on 06/12/2009

why do you feel they wont have roots.. my husband has been active duty for 29 years, my child though some grown now have friends all over the country..they still stay in contact via email etc..this is not a bad thing moving around, they get to experience different types of people different cultures etc.. they can still make friends and they can stay in contact with them when they move.. encourage this.. if you look at it as negative so with they .. it doesnt have to be.. dont brake up your family because you dont want to move.. move with your serivce member, be supportive of him and teach your kids to be supportive of dad.. he is making a difference in their country by defending it.. they will learn alot of new things where ever you go.. go with him

Skie - posted on 02/26/2009

I was born and Raised Marine Corps and then married into it.  It can be a challenge to raise kids moving all the time, but I loved moving.  I had friends and we kept in touch through letters.  Of course now their is e-mail for doing that.  You can hook up with new friends before you even move to a new location by using the resources that are available through the military as well.  I can't remember the exact sight right now but I know it is out there.  I lived overseas with my family growing up and are now raising our son overseas as well.  We love to travel and the webcam and vonage keep you very close to family at all times.  The world is such a small place now that we have the internet.  Always keep things positive for your children and they will view things as positive as well.  When you start being sad and depressed about it all then your kids will pick up on it and make life a lot harder on yourself and your husband.  I agree with Allison, I am very adaptable and great at being independent because of the way I was raised and had to make those changes frequently and quickly.  Oddly enough now I get an itch to move about every 3 years or so.  5 years in one location was like insanity for me.

Adf0905 - posted on 02/26/2009

I'm a Navy brat, and I wouldn't change it for the world! I'm SO glad I didn't grow up in the same boring hometown with the same people in the same house...how incredibly boring that would be! Instead, I've lived all over the country, met different types of people, seen incredible places, and have friends all over the world! I adapt to change extremely well, and moving is like a hobby. I love packing and unpacking, so marrying in to the military didn't prove too difficult of a change to me lol!

Joy - posted on 02/25/2009

I grew up as an army brat. This is really the only life I know. My daughter thought it was awesome until now. I think it makes kids stronger. Good luck!

Leigh - posted on 02/24/2009

No,,my hubby has been in the Navy for 22 yrs, and we have a 12 and 7 year and have moved a handful of times. I think its actually good for them,,they become fway more adaptable to change, become more independent and self-sufficient.  They love seeing new places nad different climates and meet new friends. And Im a believer that "roots"  dont have to be a physical location.. Your "family" as a whole when going places together, moving etc,,are your roots!! Keep your family as a unit and do things together and thats what's important and mostly what "they" will remember most, the things you did together, not how many times you moved or the stress we as grown-ups  feel when moving! good luck!!! Kids are resiliant!! (spelling)??
 

Kelly - posted on 02/24/2009

Keep your family together.  In the long run, that is what you have. They may end up resenting being apart from their dad and may not understand either.I know that comes across as a strong opinion.  You have to keep considering all the positives.  I never saw anything outside of my homestate until I was in my 20's!  I do have a child that could use more stability but he likes to learn about history so we always give him tons of info before we go somewhere new and he looks for things he is interested in. It makes it fun for him.  There are always bonuses to both sides of the fence. 

Chrisandra - posted on 02/24/2009

Here's irony for ya! I was supportive of my husband coming back into the Army because I wanted to move around a lot. Like Whitney I grew up in the same house and have known the same people for over 20 yrs. But when we got to Ft Hood we were told that because of his MOS my husband was 'locked in'. Meaning we aren't going anywhere. So although I like the area, I hate knowing that I am stuck here.

Remember kids are resilient. They will get used to where ever they go. You never know they may enjoy living in many places.

Cindy - posted on 01/18/2009

I am feeling that pain right now.  My husband was a revervist and just went active duty this past summer.  Our kids had lived in one house and gone to the same school until they were 9 and 11 years old.  Now we have relocated and are having to learn a whole new way of life.  The kids seem to be doing well, I am having a more difficult time.  Part of that is thinking that they won't have roots and they won't graduate with kids they have a real history with.  The other part is just adjusting to the thought that we are only here for 2 years.  I am having a hard time getting too involved or attached because I know we won't  be here long.  I am putting faith in the fact that growing up with their dad rather than having him deployed as often as he was in the reserves is going to make up for their not having roots.  They will be very prepared to move onto college and to find a job in a new place, etc. 

Rachelle - posted on 01/18/2009

It's nice to see all the positives about the military lifestyle. No matter your choice of lifestyle, miltary or civilian or otherwise....there are ups and downs. I personally feel there are more ups to the military life if you're the kind of woman that can handle it. I get lots of pity from civilian wives and I try to let them know that I chose and continue to choose freely. But here I am preaching to the choir. :)

Whitney - posted on 01/18/2009

well personally when i grew up in lived in the same house, same town for 17 years (until i moved to HI to be w/my soon to be hubby and go to school). i had the same friends since elementary school and i didnt really like it. i want JP and if we have another child to live other places and see different things. we are making it our goal to live overseas as much as possible. i got the amazing chance to fly out to Dubai on my hubby's 2nd deployment and right then i knew i had been missing out and couldnt wait to show our kids the lucky chance we get.

Angee - posted on 01/17/2009

Yes oh yes! I adapted the portable growth charts, kids own emails to keep up with friends. I keep the same stuff move to move and try to set their rooms up similar to the last one type of things. Grandpa and Nana become the 'roots'. Tons of scrapbooks come along with the need for 'roots' gone awry. I went on with him, as he really wanted to be apart of their lives when he could be home. Kids are amazingly resilient. I just keep telling myself, there will be a retirement and then, I'll put my foot down and insist on being the 'roots' for the family as the kids go on with their lives. Hope is alive and well here.

Rachelle - posted on 01/17/2009

Charlene.....I truly feel your pain. My husband has been in the Marine Corp for 28 years this month. As you can imagine, we have moved A LOT. My oldest is 6 (I'm not the first wife and I delayed kids for my career)....anyway, my oldest was born in Massachusettes, we moved to Southern California when he was 1, my next 2 boys were born there, then 5 months ago, we moved here to Northern Virginia..this is our 5th address in 5 years. I understand what you are saying about roots. I was blessed with the opportunity to grow up with a great group of friends with my family around me. and I work very hard to keep my kids connected to their extended family and friends from a-far. However, when I was ready to move away for college, I didn't get a lot of support and the vast majority of my old friends are still there. I was a bit of a maverick. So I think it depends on how you present the changes and moves associated with the military lifestyle. Do you present it with dread and sadness? Or do you present it as an adventure with opportunities to learn and experience a new place? Moving isn't easy, and you may not like Vegas. I didn't like where we were in Calif. But when I moved to Oregon for school, I didn't expect to like it and ended up loving it. So when we finally retire, I can say with complete certainty where I want to spend the last days of my life based on the places I've already lived. Change is hard for all of us, we are creatures of habit....but this is your chance to demonstrate to your children what a strong and resilient woman you are and what true committment to family is. Being married to someone in the military is a whole different kind of marriage and committment, which I think we are in general so very unprepared for. Probably why the divorce rate is so high. Anyway, this is just my opinion and experiences. I hope it helps....let me know if you'd like to hear some of what I've done to make the move easier for my boys.....before and after. Good luck to you!