Does Reading Posts About Infidelity Make You Paranoid?

Serinitee - posted on 08/11/2011

I'd say it definitely has a lot to do with upbringing. I'm happy to say that after much prayer, I now have complete confidence and faith in my husband. I've denounced all ill thoughts that harbored no truths and I've actually come back with security and I thank God for that ;) - otherwise I'd be doing some karate chopping too mixed up with some gangsta cap busting and some tae boe lol. And yes, I'd forgive, but never forget, and this is not baseball, I would never wait til the third time!

Nettia - posted on 08/04/2011

No. I don't feel paranoid at all. I have been cheated on once before by my boyfriend before my husband. It took me a while to trust again and I worked out everything then. I must admit, I've known my husband for a long time (since age 15) so I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't cheat. I think Tah is right though. It has a lot to do with upbringing too. My husband's parents are divorced because his dad cheated and has continued to be a unfaithful, womanizer even til this day. So my husband had a LOT of worries about me finding someone else.However, since we got married he's never brought it up. I think he knows how seriously I take marriage vows. Plus, he knows how hard it was for me when I was hurt before and I have told him that I don't think I could ever stay with someone who cheated on me.
I only feel badly/ angry for the women I read about who are being cheated on. I'm just so blessed to be in a secure marriage with a good man. I hope that some day things will get better for you Roxy. Good for you for strengthening yourself.

Tah - posted on 08/02/2011

i haven't been cheated on by my husband..you can tell by the fact im writing this from my living room and not cell block 4..buti was cheated on before..i was engaged to my daughters father for 7 years and when i stayed home for a short time, i could tell the shift in him and the attitude became one of, what are you going to do..he even said to me that i would never leave him because what would i do??..excuse me honey bunches you didnt't find me and save me..i was working and in school when we met and dont think i wont leave you where you stand..and i finally did...i understand the emotions. i love my husband if he cheated on me, i am not going ot say after that after i karate chop him in his throat...scare the crap out of him...and her...and then go to much much counseling and then scare him some more...i wouldnt forgive...but he doesnt get another chance to do it,,,i am sympathetic, but i always had to be strong because i have gone through some things i rather not say but i overcame so to me, its a no brainer, life is to short to spend it wondering where he is, what hes doing, who he is thinking about etc..if i have to ill e alone until i find the man God has for me, and thats another thing i beleive, there is someone for everyone..if you are crying -7 days a week....its probably not him..

also thanks, i try to empower, enlighten and be someone to talk to, but i know some people take it the wrong because i am physicallu incapable of..as my mom says.."laughing when its not funny and scratching when dont itch"..lol..meaning im not going to tell someone what they are doing is smart or right if it isnt...etc..i just want women to understand they dont have to settle...

Me - posted on 08/02/2011

That is too funny Tah! You are such a strong woman and I am happy that your marriage is going great. I love reading all the tips and advice you give women it does make me feel empowered. For me, its more based off of experience. See, I am in between becoming empowered and still having problems with my husband at the same time. ITs like a transition I am going through and I can tell my husband knows what is going on. I am in the process of getting it together and realizing all of his little tactics that women seem to have a hard time understanding. I mean it sure takes a person who knows what it feesl like and has been in those types of situations to truely understand. Before I even got married I was independent and would never have allowed any of those situations to happen, but it happens through time and different situations. I woke up and realize that I became that type of wife I would complain about. It does happen when you have that love for your husband yet through the years your own self esteem has been brought down. THis is what usually happens int these situations. I recently caught myself and the repeating patterns after 5 yrs and I now have a plan that I am finally ready to use! Its not easy for women to just up and leave or suc,h there is still the hurtfull healing process, the "oh my god I cant believe this is happenning" part you have to go through and its the worst. THere are so many emotions involved when infidelity happens. Not just the anger lol. If it were just the anger I think many wives would be gone by now lol.

Tah - posted on 08/01/2011

i just read Roxy's post and HI-five for that girlie..you know i am a stickler for education and a having a plan for if they do act up and it makes them see you in a different light as well..im going for social work and continuing my nursing so my counseling office can be next to yours....lol..maybe ill do family counseling for the military, ill have tons f angry cheating servicemembers storming my office asking.."who told you to empower my wife..she's selling my clothes and changed the locks and is back in school what gives..lol"...

Tah - posted on 08/01/2011

it doesnt sway me. i trust my husband and we have a good relationship. we joke often i ask him if his boo was good to him while he was gone and he calls ad tells me he is getting off earlier then usual so tell jody/mike to get out..but these post don't make me feel insecure. i think alot plays into it. what kind of household you grew up in??your relationship? the character of your husband? etc. my husband and i are both from families that have parents who are still together. my grandparents where married until my grandmother passed and had 12 children, my parents just celebrated 44 years and my in-laws will be celebrating 40. so we have strong role models. i never remember my parents evenfighting but im sure with 7 kids there had to be some arguments and nor does he. we understand marriage is work. if my husband cheats i will be in a state of total shock and if i did he would as well..i would also be in a state of danger....and so would he..lol...

here is where i get a little miffed, ill be honest because yall know i can't be any other way..i get upset when wives come on here and say they allow it, yes allow it..over and over. If i didn't have a plan B after the first affair i would definitely be creating a plan book, first order of business, let him know in no uncertain terms that what he did is unacceptable..i don't care if he has to sleep on the floor, at the base whatever....pack his stuff and let him roll up on a garage sale of his things to fund the ticket to your mamas whatever, he would know the wrath of a women scorned to the point where he would be scared to turn his head even when he wasnt with me. if he does it again, you have to realize he doesn't respect you or love you the way he should and the way you deserve and move on..so when it's repeated behavior then the women needs to look at herself as well. my friends husband cheats every deployment and i wouldn't be able to live knowing he's cheated 5-6 times that i know of..sorry, i have enough things to give me gray hair and high blood pressure, my husband shouldn't be one...

but in a word No..it doesn't make me doubt what i have in the least bit, the only person that can do that is him and he hasn't done it..

Billie - posted on 08/01/2011

If you're secure in your relationship, just reading about others infidelity should not persuade you to think that your spouse is cheating. I think you need to look deep down into yourself and ask, "Do I really think he would ever cheat on me?"

These posts do not make me second guess my husband. He may be deployed, but I know the only action he's getting is on his webcam with me :)

Me - posted on 07/18/2011

My hus has cheated on me several times. Why I stayed with him is still a mystery to me. Actually reading other post about it and different situations sometimes gives me a better view or perspective. I do start to get paranoid and reading other post actually sometimes makes me feel empowered especially with all the good advice on what to do. Im still hurt everyday everytime I think about it or read about someone else going through it I dont think the feeling goes away, but it helps to know your not the only one that has been through it. It does make me have negative thoughts, but I usually steer away from those thoughts and try to just take in the good advice. For instance, when I caught my hus cheating. I was able to forgive, but reading about other situations made me go back to school. I got my Associates in Psychology and Im working on my BA in Psychology. In case I decide to divorce I will be able to take care of myself. SO to answer your question try to only take in the good advice, but keep your eyes open.