Don't ask Don't tell.....

Julia - posted on 03/19/2010 ( 161 moms have responded )

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Ok so I want a real debate started. How do you feel about the fact that they are talking about doing away with the policy and allowing gays to openly serve in the military?

I'm torn. I do believe that gays should not have to hide who they are just because they want to serve their country. HOWEVER having been in the Army myself I also know that they will become targets. There are still people (mostly males) that don't believe that they should serve and will make any gay in their unit a living hell. Sad but true. I also know of PLENTY of gays that do serve and have done great things in the military but had to hide who they truly were and were miserable because of it.

Regardless of HOW you feel about gays...do you think that they should be allowed to be who they are and not have to hide just to do something that they feel strongly in which is serve their country!

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Felicia - posted on 03/19/2010

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I think it is such a shame that gays are judged by who they fall in love with. Straight people aren't judged that way. Why should it be different for gays and lesbians? Shouldn't a person be judged by their actions? It makes me kinda sick to think about it. There is no rule that says just because a person is gay, they have to be a bad soldier. Men are uncomfortable around gays because they think these guys are checking them out or whatever. Wow. They have a pretty high opinion of themselves. I've got news for them, most gay men aren't even attracted to straight guys.

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my husband is navy and the only problem he was or like a lot of ppl are on ships is what are they gonna do about sleeping quarters? a ship is small and they obviously can't have someone who likes that same sex in their birthing w/them.

Paige - posted on 03/19/2010

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and do you honestly think most of "these people" are going to be FLAUNTING their sexual preference? No. HELL no. Most have partners. It's not like they would be wearing mascara and pride flags to work, people. As more equality partner bills pass...and they will pass... they will be able to list their life partners as benificiaries and cohabitate with them. These people are fighting and dying for your freedom right now, and you make them do it in silence and fear. Quit living in the dark ages...you want to revoke their voting rights as well? Because they don't love the same way YOU do...they don't have the same rights? BS. this is AMERICA.

Terri - posted on 03/19/2010

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please i think its crazy to be still dealing with this issure. If you sign up to do this job for our country (thank for my freedoms) then do the job and stop worrying about others sexual preferences. You are asked to be honest and truthful as part of the job how then can we ask honest soldiers to lie jus so you can feel comfortable? If you somehow think your body isnt sized up my both straight or not straight (not sure which is the right wording, sorry) your very silly. And even worse if you are overly stressed or worried about it then maybe you shouldnt be carrying a gun.

Julia - posted on 03/19/2010

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Maybe it's just me but in all honesty I felt more uncomfortable sleeping in a co-ed tent when I was in Kuwait and at NTC rather than being naked in front of females that I knew were lesbians.

And honestly I can just about guarantee that there are at least 5 gays in every unit. So does it make them uncomfortable not knowing which ones they are or the fact that they would then know who they are?

I also believe that most males (especially in combat arms units) would stay in the closet because of the fact that most gays in the Army know and understand that they would make people uncomfortable.

Shannon - posted on 03/19/2010

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I don't think they should be. I've heard enough of the soldiers talk about why not, and it isn't just because they want to bash gays, or hate gays, it's because it makes them uncomfortable. Many of them have had gays come on to them, don't feel comfortable with them showering in the same open space, or sleeping within the same quarters. It's a morals and trust issues for these guys, and right now they don't feel comfortable. I can see their point, I understand where they are coming from. In todays Army the op tempo is so high that they need to not have that one extra issue to worry about. Maybe once the wars are over, and things are calm, they can try to slowly open that door and educate their members...but until then, no way! It's not right to already stress out everyone with the wars, and then add one more stressor, that will not go away, on top of it. More needs to be done before that time comes.

And before anyone makes a snide comment my way...I have 2 gay males in my extended family. One a step brother who I have accepted fully, another a male cousin. So I understand the issue very well.

C. - posted on 03/19/2010

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I also think the policy should stay in affect. I know some people who are very anit-gay/lesbian and if they were in the military with openly gay men and women, all hell would break loose. Even though I am strongly against homosexuality (and yes, I know some gays/lesbians/bisexuals and yes, I am friends with some who have confided in me and other friends, but not yet "come out").. I do think it's great that they are comfortable and confident in who they are.. That's all well and good. But you know darn well that there are going to be too many straight people worried about all the gays in the military if everyone KNOWS that they are gay. With suspicions, that's all it is, suspicion.. There's no proof, so really nobody has to worry. But when it's confirmed? Nope.. It's not necessary. And I believe I speak for everyone when I say we all want our men and women to worry about their job and not about the gay person standing next to them. If it was all out in the open, too many people would lose focus at work. It's not necessary.

Paige - posted on 03/19/2010

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HA!

There ARE gay people in the military, have been for some time...and will continue to be... and gaydar is no joke..they are not going to stand there and risk getting their ass kicked by checking out some strait guys junk, sorry, its just not going to happen...and if a bunch of openly gay people are mixed with strait people, what WILL happen? they will have coffee? It happens all the time in all walks of life, and guess what, nobody gets cooties!! there are GAYS are in the military!! ssshhhhh!!!

Julia - posted on 03/19/2010

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ok here is my take on things from a prior service perspective.

@ Stacy, been there done that! All of the above. Showered in basic, at NTC and in Kuwait with lesbians...AND had piss tests with gay NCO's watching. Never felt out of place or any of the above.

@ Ricki and Stacy
at NTC and in Kuwait....the whole unit stayed in co-ed tents! So I actually had a bunk mate (on the cot next to me) that was male on one side and female on the other.

So I don't think this stuff is as much of an issue since it happens all the time now...

My issue is with the fact of what would happen when the holy rollers or people so against homosexuals find out and ostrasize people who are otherwise great soldiers (sailors, marines, airmen. etc) just because of their sexual preference.

Ricki - posted on 03/19/2010

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Wow...tricky question there. I also feel that they shouldn't have to hide who they are but it would make their lives a living hell. Especially the men. Does everyone shower together? Sleep in the same area? How would all that be handled. It would make some people very very uncomfortable worrying about whether the person next to them is checking them out and whatnot.
I think it's safer with the don't ask don't tell policy, but I could see how hard it would make their lives. Do I think gays should be kicked out of the military because they've been "discovered"? No, especially if they are good soldiers with nothing on their record. Sexual orientation doesn't define who you are or how you perform your job.

Stacy - posted on 03/19/2010

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I think the policy should stay in effect. Just from the stand point of basic training, how would you feel if the majority of your flight is openly gay and you were straight? Would they have a "gay" flight or would everyone be mixed together, oh the stuff that could/ would happen when the TI leaves. Or if you are taking a random drug test and the person watching you pee is checking you out?

Just some of my concerns if gays were allowed openly into the military.

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