First Deployment..

Charli - posted on 09/05/2009

Hi Brandie, my husband just deployed on Tuesday to Balad. We've known that he was going to be deployed for a while now I honestly think that there is no way to prepare for your first deployment. It's hard to prepare for what you have no idea what is coming. My husband is Army and I am alone in Kansas and my family is in Virginia. I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl going through potty training also. I've decided to go home during the deployment to have the love and support I need during this hard time and also help me get through raising a tot at this time. Stay strong for your soldier =) The best part of a strong soldier is the strong woman standing beside him throughout all his battles and the duty expected of him. =) Hope this were encouraging words for you and I wish you all the best =)

Brandie - posted on 09/05/2009

thank you everyone for your responses and opinions... tim leaves tuesday and im ready for march already.. hopefully i can make some friends and take it day by day

Brenda - posted on 09/05/2009

Deployments are never easy, and I am sorry you didnt get much time to prepare for his leaving soon....my husband has been in Balad since Feb, its not easy when they leave and you have to do everything on your own, its always best to get a routine and set up yahoo messenger even webcaming cam be a great reliever....

Jennifer - posted on 08/31/2009

Awesome post Shanon!! That is great advice. It is very important to have time for yourself and when your husband is gone it's like, when? I definately put movies in at times and read or go online and e-mail friends. I love the idea of the red, white, and blue paper chain to count down the days! We use Skype to talk to him and see him too! It is free online. I don't know if anyone has heard of it. My husband is Navy so when he is out we have no contact with him. Maybe occasional e-mails, but sometimes none. He goes out in the submarines. So, when he is in port we do the Skype and the kids definately love seeing him on the computer! A friend of mine, her husband made a powerpoint slideshow with pictures of him and where he works on the ship and maybe pictures of where they are in port too. It was neat and the kids loved it!

Shanon - posted on 08/26/2009

So sorry! I totally feel for you! My husband is on his second deployment since the birth of our first daughter in March 2007 and found out in September 2007 I was pregnant with our second child. I survived that deployment and our daughter was born just 3 weeks after he returned home. Now I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 17 month old and I have my hands full this time around. I agree with a previous poster who said take advantage of programs offered on base. I know the AF has a great Give Parents a Break program and this might be helpful for you if you don't have your child already enrolled at the CDC. The Auto Car Center also used to offer free oil changes for spouses of deployed members. Contact your Airman and Family Readiness Center. Those are just some great programs. The hardest part is of course keeping a real connection between your husband and children. We use webcams and also send videos back and forth. If you can send him with an inexpesive digital camera so he can take pictures to send to your children. My girls love seeing their daddy in uniform and where he works. In order to help countdown the time until my husband returns we made a red, white and blue paper chain and every week we tear one off. That has helped us really see how fast time is flying over all (especially since the days just drag on by). Most importantly take care of yourself! Some days you will feel totally frazzled and that is ok but make sure you spend a little time doing something YOU want to do. Even if it means popping a movie in for your kids and sitting in the corner reading a book, baking, scrapbooking, etc. If you don't take care of yourself your stress levels will be high. I am away from family as we PCS'd to Germany last year. My husband works at an Army post even though we are AF so connecting with folks has been hard because we are the only couple in his unit with children. My closest friend is 90 minutes away so I try to see her once a month, even if it means shopping at her Px. Just getting away from the house for an afternoon is a huge help.



Just get into a routine, stick with it and give your twins lots of hugs and kisses. You will all make it through and the homecoming day will arrive faster than you think. Best of luck!

Jennifer - posted on 08/25/2009

I understand when a sudden deployment happens. I have 3 year old twins and a 19 month old. So, I also know what it is like to be pregnant with twins and the hubby gone! Don't worry you will get through it! Try to search for moms groups, or library programs for toddlers or a church if you like that or if you see a mom with kids out and about start up a conversation. That is how I met a couple of my friends, we had twins in common so it wasn't hard to miss! I didn't know anyone where we are, we are in Maryland, and you just have to make yourself get up and out there. I have quite a few friends now and not all military. We don't live on base. My husband works for Naval Intelligence and is stationed out of DC. So, we are south of there in Waldorf, MD. I am from a small town in Ohio, so it was a change especially from country living. I know your family is very far away. Maybe someone can come visit for the holidays at least? Everything will work out!

STEPHANIE - posted on 08/25/2009

First deployments can be tough, especially if you are used to spending alot of time with your hubby. This is my third deployment. This first one I was pregnant with our son. The second time my son was just four months old. This time my son is potty training. The only real advice I can give you is try not to get so sad that you get mad. One big mistake I made alot while he was on deployment was feeling resentment. You have to sit back and remember that he has little control over where the military decides to send him. I don't live in Utah, but I know how you feel. Email me if you ever want to talk or feel like your about to break. Believe I've been there

Kristie - posted on 08/25/2009

You do have every right to be upset. I'd be pissed too if I were in that situation. We're getting ready for our first deployment as well. My husband leaves in early December. I have 2 girls, a 4 year old and a 7 week old. I live far away from all my family and friends, too. Mostly I'm upset because he is going to miss the baby's first Christmas, and probably both girls' birthdays. Just try to keep in mind that it's only temporary, and he won't be gone forever. Good luck with everything!

Carey - posted on 08/24/2009

Im sorry to hear about your situation.We PCS'd here on August 3rd and we found out that my husband was leaving right away on our first deployment. Everyone tells me to keep busy is the best way to keep going.

Patricia - posted on 08/24/2009

Sorry to hear about the short notice, you have a right to be upset. I was an Army brat my whole childhood, did 9 years of active duty myself, and am still married to active duty. Deployments are hard, but the good news is- They End! :) You have already done the right thing by getting support here, plus go to the base's Family Service center( it is called something different at most bases, but if all else fails the docs at the hospital can tell you where it is.) They have programs, classes, mom's nights out, and tons of other resourses. Use them, that is part of your Hubby's "paycheck" in a way. Plus playgroups help especially with toddlers, usually the base will have free ones, so no need to pay for Gymboree unless you just want to. Take the kids on outings once a month. A season pass to a zoo, aquarium, childrens muesem is usally free for the kids and all you pay is for you. Plus the base ticket office might be able to get a discount for you. If there is nothing like that in your area- a trip to PetsMart is almost as good. We (my 2 year old and I) can hang out in there for an hour, and he thinks he went somewhere cool. Then 99 cent ice cream, and back home for naptime. Easy day. Let them feed the ducks in the park or at the local college campus if there is one. Play dates!! those are good for the mommy and the kids. Find a mom who has kids the same age as yours and have some fun. To sum it up- STAY BUSY! time will fly by, and the kids and you will have had some time to do some bonding, which no matter where he is will help. Oh and the potty training- I used the potty boot camp- go to their website, and the ebook is like $5 worked like a charm on my little boy. It was hard work, but sooooooo worth it.

Brandie - posted on 08/23/2009

thanks TIffany.. my husband is going to record videos of himself for the girls.. he's gonna bring his laptop and we have skype - i know in balad wifi is like 50 bucks a month so we can talk every day on there-- im sure itll seem like forever but i know we'll make it

Tiffany - posted on 08/23/2009

This is my first deployment also. My husband left for Afghanistan 6wks ago. I have a two year old and a one year old. For the kids what we did was have him record messages and him reading books. It seems to help them when we sit down together and watch them since we are getting much communication. Also putting up pics all over the house of your DH helps too. I'm still trying to figure it all out but I hear that it gets better. I'm in NM but I hope this helps a little bit.

Brandie - posted on 08/23/2009

lol i was so hoping you were going to say im in hawaii so you can come visit lol.. just joking.. im prepared for the deployment, he was supposed ot be deployed in jan of 2011 anyways, i was just mad at the suddenness of it.. it just wasnt right for a girl to threaten him to get pregnant and actually do it.. i understand if she had been trying but shes only 18.. so yea just not right.. but anyways im over it-- long christmas without him.. wow i know you stay busy.. we want a boy so hopefully that happens-- thanks and if i need advice or someone to talk to ill def ask you -- thanks again

Jerri - posted on 08/23/2009

Sorry to hear that you didn't have as long to prepare. It would piss me off too. You have the right to be upset. My husband deployed earlier this month, this is our 3rd deployment and we have a 3 and 2 year old boys The oldest is autistic. My advice is to try to stay busy, which I am sure will not be a problem with twins and one on the way. Also take advantage of anything that you can for families of deployed spouses. I am in Hawaii, but if you want you can at least vent to me. Most spouses understand what you are going through. Good luck.