For those optimistic Army wives*

Candi - posted on 09/01/2012

It is harder when you have kids. Luckily your baby is still young. For our first deployment, my kids were 3 and 4. My 4 yr old had night terrors the entire 15 months. It was awful. Every single night he woke up screaming! Then we finally moved to TX and had the other 2 deployments. His 2nd one was right before Christmas and out baby was 5 months old. Lucky for me, she was such an easy going baby. Right now my husband is gone...my kids are now 13, 12, and 7. The older they get, the worse they get. I have to stay positive. I have no choice. You can't be all depressed and stay in bed all day when you have kids. One thing I do in the summer is lots of yardwork. I know its not for everybody and everyone has their own way of dealing with deployments. Take an online class, even if its just for fun or a time killer. You need something to occupy you. Where do you live?

Myia - posted on 09/01/2012

I am by no means the most optimistic wife out there. After being married to the military for 11 years now; I would say I am more of a realist. There are days when I am super busy and it flies by without any "I hate the army" thoughts. But I have also hibernated in my house for a week at a time. It never gets easier to be alone, but you will get used to it. My husband has literally been gone half our marriage. But it is what it is, you like the rest of us, married the military. Try and find something to focus on, a job, craft, etc. I have done it all during deployments. If you do not have kids a job is nice. I did that and used retail therapy as my outlet during that time. But trust me when I tell you, those wives you think are always positive have times when they are just like you, or me and crawl into bed and cry. And some times you just gotta fake it till you make it. Good luck, and yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Alexis - posted on 08/31/2012

lucky for me my husbamds reserve and comes back in october.

i know you women with active duty husbands have it harder, but still he's been gone since April and we got married in march and I had our baby in may without him :/

Candi - posted on 08/31/2012

Just accept the fact you can't change the circumstances. Once you accept that, you can function day to day. Each day that passes is one day closer to him coming home. If you work or go to school, that helps the time. Don't try to be friends with every other army wife out there. They will break your spirits. Trust me on that one! If you have kids, get involved with their school. Our first deployment was 15 months and we lived in Germany. It was tough. Both of my kids went to a german preschool, so I couldn't volunteer there (language barrier for me). I just went through the motions day to day. Cleaned the house, painted the house, got a cat, etc. It was a long deployment. His other 2 were each 12 months and we lived in TX but had 3 kids. I went back to school. By the time my kids were out of dance class, cub scouts, and church, they had homework and so did I. Before I knew it, My hubby was due home and I had a degree to show how I spent my time. I also painted the house, but thats beside the point. Just set goals, read lots of books, there is so much you can do. Just remember, when your husband calls, don't bring him down by telling him every bad thing, bills, or how bad you feel. Keep his spirits up so he can function better at work and he will feel better knowing you are able to be alone and support him. It doesn't get easier saying good bye but you will become stronger and more independent. Good Luck!