Help ex husband trying to stop my move

Adiba - posted on 10/23/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hello,

My current husband was PCS'd to Alaska. I have a son from my previous marriage. His father never took part in his life when I lived a few hours away, only recently did he start having anything to do with him when I moved closer (for school purposes). Now my current husband is stationed in Alaska, and I am supposed to follow him there in the beginning of Januray. My divorce decree says I can move anywhere in the US as long as I give my ex husband 90 day notice which I did. he is against the move and is going to try anything he can to stop us. My question is can he stop us? I have sole custody of my son and always haev been his only provider. His father paid child support for about 1 year out of the 8 that he was ordered to pay. He has not paid in the past two years. He does not follow the visitation orders all the time, and does not hold down steady jobs. I just found out that I am pregnant (5 weeks and very excited) but I am so scared that something will happen where I will not be allowed to take my son outside of this state, and I will spend this pregnancy without my current husband. I would appreciate any help.

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Mindy - posted on 02/21/2013

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My divorce was done in Arizona. After getting a divorce my ex husband left the state to Illinois with NO notice to me. After a pereiod of time I also moved with the kids to IL (we are both from there) After living in IL for over a year I cant financially get by. I had a better income for the kids and I in Arizona. Since my income has been cut in half and I hd to sell my home and am staying with friends can I leave the state and go back to AZ. My decree says I have to give him notice. I did that at the beginning of Jan 2013. He hasnt filed anything in court to stop me from moving. The decree says 90 days notice if moving out of state. Im def not doing it to be spiteful or mean. I just cant provide for the kids here. Any help would be appreciated.
He also does pay $90 a week in child support. Although he owes over 15k. I know that child support and custody issues are two seperate issues. I also do have full custody because of domestic violence issues,

Tah - posted on 11/07/2011

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child support and visitation are different according to the courts so dont depend on that to help just because he doesn't pay. Talk to jag and see if they have any help for you

Lynn - posted on 11/06/2011

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You need to document everything you can think of - dates he paid child support, dates he didn't, amounts, dates when he was supposed to visit your and didn't, dates when he wasn't employed, if he was late picking up or dropping your son off, anything you can think of. It sounds like you did exactly what you were sippoed to and notified your ex, and whether he likes it or not, Alaska is part of the U.S. so you should be fine. If he pushes it, let him know that you'll seek the back child support he owes you. You can go to mediation and ask for him to pay the flights to and from Alaska for several visitations and holidays every year, medical insurance, and child support is always higher when you have the child most of the time. Tell your ex that if he fights it, he'll wind up owing a lot of money, and that it's in his best interest to let you move, and work out a child support and custody plan between you that you both can live with. I don't think he can stop you, since you have physical custody - I think he could only make you go to court to have the custody agreement changed. He may only be trying to see how far he can push you and when it comes right down to it, he may not take the trouble to take you to court. If he really does want to go to court, find a mother's support group online or in your area. They can tell you what forms you need to file, how to fill them out yourself, and how to word them so you'll get what you want. You DO NOT need a lawyer! If you spend the time to learn what to do, you can do it yourself, and there are people who will help you every step of the way. My husband got screwed in his divorce (using a lousy lawyer), and many years later got his order revised to a more fair amount, by using a father's support group. We overpaid for years before he found out he could file the paperwork himself and save a ton of money!

Sandy - posted on 10/30/2011

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If your custody papers state that you can move within CONUS, then it shouldn't be a fight he'd win. However, he can always take you to court over it. This will delay your move and cost you a lot of money. If he is spiteful, expect this.

My friend had a similar problem with her ex-husband, who is not the child's biological father nor an American citizen. He won. The child lives with him during the school year, and she gets her own biological child for the holidays and summers; simply because she ran out of money to pay for the court battle.

Michele - posted on 10/24/2011

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I don't think your son's father will have a leg to stand on. If he's not paying child support I doubt he is going to take you to court to stop the move, which is what he would have to do. I had some thoughts that my son's father would cause problems, but I gave him notice (6 mo) and moved. The attorney I spoke with said to let him show his hand if he did nothing before the move there really wasn't much he could do. Don't stress!! I think you are in a very good situtation. How old is your son and how does he feel about his dad? Depending on his age that too could be a factor and if his Dad has never been involved then the court hearing that from your son and his desires could hold some weight. I would not worry myself until something happens and remember you can only do what you can do. I hope you have kept documentation of all this stuff. I recommend documenting everything to everyone, you never know when you will need it. Good Luck with your move, the Baby and everything. God Bless!

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2011

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I agree with Michelle, he may give you a headache and make you jump through some hoops, but I highly doubt he'll get anything out of it (except for the pleasure of freaking you out). My advice is to stay calm, get as much proof together as you can (like the fact that he didn't pay all the child support), and go talk to someone at the legal assistance office on base (or have your hubby do it).

Good luck with everything! :)

Michelle - posted on 10/23/2011

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Based solely on the info you have posted here, I don't think your ex has a hope to keep you from moving courts like to keep siblings together so if you are pregnant and you and your current husband have been the only real parents in this childs life the worst he can do is cause you to go to court and the judge should see things in favor of your move.

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