help with 1st depolyment info.

Bernie - posted on 07/01/2010 ( 55 moms have responded )

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my hubs is leaving in september, i want to move back home, but im not sure how to go about that. i can get out of my lease. but would i have to stay where hes stationed to get BAH? my hubs thinking is BAH fraud to move back to texas. but its nothing new.. people go home while there spouse is depolyed all the time. can someone help me out?

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Chelsea - posted on 07/21/2010

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You will still get BAH. Depending on how far away from family may have a lot to do with your choice. We are about 1000 miles away from my family and 1200 from my husband's. We also know that my husband will be getting out of the Army a few months after he gets back to the states. I have been a stay-at-home mom while he has been in the military and would like to start back to work soon. I would also like my children to grow up around their grandparents and family. I know and have great respect for many wives who stay put throughout deployment but also know its not for me. It can only be you and your husband's decision. Wishing you the best!

Andrea - posted on 07/20/2010

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it's not fraud. You will only get the bah of the base he is stationed NOT TX. Plus you have to pay for the moving.

Natessa - posted on 07/15/2010

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wow i think all she wanted to know was if it was fraud to still get BAH! Everyone's situation is different, so though you are entitled to your opinion it is not true in every case! I know my spouse was going to possibly deploy, and we have a 2 month old and he wanted me to move home while he was gone so that I had help and did not have to raise our daughter on my own, with no support. Not that I couldnt stay here handle the responsibility of our child on my own, and support him, but he didnt want me to have to! So it doesnt mean we cant hack it as Army spouses if we go home while they are gone, but rather we have spouses who are just as supportive of us as we are of them!

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/25/2011

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We're almost done with our 2nd deployment, both times I've lived back home in MN and collected the Hawai'i BAH while my husband has been gone. Both times they knew I wasn't on island and no one cared. We cannot, however, collect COLA because there is no COLA for MN.
I'd say go home and be by your family and friends, it will make it a LOT more managible! Plus, hopefully you'll be able to pay off bills and save some money up!
I don't know what I would do if I had to stay in Hawai'i while he was gone. It's so far away and so expensive.

Kathy - posted on 04/24/2011

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you can contact the payroll dept for this in order to draw either place for BAH however you will need to provide them with a current lease. If you leave the BAH there then I believe you'd be ok. BUT the BAH maybe more for Texas. Check with your dispersing clerk for the correct info on this issue BEFORE you do anything else.

Rosa - posted on 04/23/2011

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Ok. that would be good to move back home to have your family and friends near. However, ur husband is correct with the army loosing money everyday they are now researching everything that goes thur finance like never before. My husband is finance and in my unit they care investigating ppl who are married for year but arent living together for years, family who as you are planning to do move back each time their spouse beploy to collect BAH. I mean, you can do it but if uncle same send him a check a year or so from now to collect would it be worth if. Especially if he plans to stay in the army those thing can hurt him with councelling or secret clearance everyone dont have the same lucky so be careful. I would stay stay the and develop a routine, then if your really home sick go home for few months or so. Good luck enjoy your day.

Samantha - posted on 07/21/2010

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My husband left on deployment in may and a week later i had our son. I am currently in Va but our family is all in cali. Before my husband deployed we talked about me moving back to cali for family help with the baby. We ultimately decided that i would stay in va and just visit the families in cali. I can say that yes this has been an adventure and some days are harder then others but i have met some really cool ladies through the meetings that they hold for the deployed families. The group tht meets for my husbands ship meets once a month and has many other adtivities throughout the month for all ages. he meetings are great because thats where you learn all the important information about the deployment and you have other families to relate with. As far as the BAH you will still get it however, depending on where you go to it will change in the amount that you get. I hope this helps

Kristi - posted on 07/18/2010

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Your husband can get this information from his command. But I do know that BAH is based on where you are stationed.
If you chose to move home and pay a lease/rent elsewhere, I believe you can submit that lease and get the BAH for that area. BUT, Im not sure. Keep in mind, that the BAH where you chose to live might be less than where your husband is stationed.

Jaclyn - posted on 07/18/2010

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I did it every time my husband deployed. I had a three month old the first time and I packed him up and went home. We got BAH and had no problems getting it taken care of. Like you said, "it's nothing new" everyone does it!!

Angie - posted on 07/17/2010

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i have moved back home twice when my husband was deployed. your bah goes by where you live. i moved home to ohio and the bah was a dollar difference so i didn't bother changing anything. need anything else, let me know

Kathy - posted on 07/17/2010

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You should check as some branches of the servic e handle a dependent BAH differently even tho it is all military. It never cost anything to ask ahead of time and they can direct you as to the BAH on the base verses if you live in another area. It's a matter of covering all the bases and making sure nothing is done under the table to jepordize his career. Remember he is responsible for your actions regardless of where you are at...it all reflects back on him. Ask nothing ventured nothing gained and it does not cost one penny to ask an offical. Be sure to get their name rank and date time of call as info for you in the event you should ever need to revert back to it. Cover your own butt as well as your servicemen

Bernie - posted on 07/15/2010

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thanks to all the ladies! i knew there are some wives that feel strong about staying where you are, but im not that wife. my husband and i have talked so many times now about this and have chose for me to so back home while he is gone, ill be going to school. we figured out that we will get the same BAH and everything. anyways thank yall for all the comments/help/support.


Courtney Murphy- im from north texas, about 2 hours from Dallas.

Kathy - posted on 07/15/2010

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Talk to your hubby ombudsman for his unit they can help guide you to the proper channels to acheive this and YES you can still draw your BAH however 'm not sure if it would be for where he is stationed from or where you are living at the time. Someone can help you out there locally to get'er done!

Courtney - posted on 07/15/2010

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its not fraud. that is money you are entitled to no matter where you live. As long as his command is aware its fine. I had a friend who actually used hers to pay for college while her husband was deployed. What part of Texas are you from?

Luisa - posted on 07/15/2010

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Do what you heart tells you! our upcoming deployment I'll be moving back home where I have my family and friends and my Husband dont have to worry about me staying alone and sad! go for it, that won't make you and bad person just because you want to be with family during this hard time!! Good luck to you and your Husband!!

Amber - posted on 07/15/2010

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During our first deployment I moved back in with my parents and we were able to save a ton. The army paid the same bah we would have gotten if I stayed where we were at. When hubby got home we were able to pay off all our debt and I bought him a motorcycle and paid cash. I loved the support I got from my family while he was gone (especially on the rough days) and I was able to distract myself when I would go days or weeks without hearing from him. Since he's been home we've added a great dane and a baby to our family so in our upcoming deployment I'll be staying where were stationed.

Angela - posted on 07/14/2010

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I am Navy, I have been in for 12+ years and I am a single parent. I have been a single parent for 10 years. You should stay where you are and not go home to family. I talk to a member of my family everyday via telephone, email or facebook. It will be better if you stay to establish yourself and have a life of your own. I also work in Administration and I get the phone calls of wives calling like everything is a major emergency, or requesting that their husbands come home or don't go on deployment.... I will tell you first hand if you don't think you can handle it on your own then your marriage will not last. It takes a STRONG individual (spouse) who understands what it is to be a STRONG BONE for the member. It is not easy being out and away from your family especially if you have children and to deal with the BULL s*** out there and is 3000% harder when you have a crying spouse that does not know how to do anything while the member is away, That is no type of support system from the home front.If you feel as though you assistance there is so much for you to do with Fleet and Family Services, within this organization there are a lot of groups and meetings with people who are just like you. If you are unable to make friends with people in your neighborhood ( a lot of times you really don't want their friendship anyway) but then to look to the groups you will be surprise who will be there and who lives close to you if not in your very own neighborhood. (Those are the ones who feel like you and don't come out for you to meet) It will be okay and you will be a BETTER MORE MATURE and SECURE PARENT AND WIFE for it. ( It is his first experience at something new and it will be your first experience at something new **don't cheat your way out of it because it won't get easier) Besides with you living or being around your family your children are not your children and they will pick up the wrong things and they will not listen to you and there will always be someone around to tell you that is ALRIGHT and it won't be ALRIGHT when he comes home and your kids are a mess...;..

Natessa - posted on 07/14/2010

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It's not fraud to move home while he is deployed and still get BAH! He is still tech. stationed wherever you guys live. So you will be fine, BUT like others have said they wont pay for you to move home!

Lindsay - posted on 07/13/2010

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You should look into it... They might pay for it. My husband is leaving in a year or so, and if you make it clear that for personal reasons and depression and needing a support system, they should pay for your move... This is only for deployments tho or being stationed overseas (like Korea). You can't just leave and get it paid for cuz you want to.

Kelly - posted on 07/10/2010

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I think that all of the ladies here are makin good points. My husband and I a dual military. When he deployed, I was thinking about getting out because had just had our baby and they were going to deploy me at the same time. God worked it out for me to be able to stay on active duty and be with our baby. I stayed put so that 1) when he came home for R&R, he had a stable place to come home to and be with me and the baby 2) It cost a lot of money to put stuff in and out of storage (of your paying or not) 3) when if came back home, we would have to start all over finding a place to live.

I am the type of person that will speak to my neighbors and go in the house. I am not sure if its the Soldier in me, but I can care less what other people say or think about me. My main priority is making sure my husband and baby are well taken care of. Coming home to my son everyday made my husband being a gone a little easier. He was sort of a distraction, I guess you can say. Each month that he got older was another month closer to my hubby coming home.

Of course ultimatley the chose is yours, but think not only of yourself, but your hubby too. Whatever your decision, just remember that God will never put you or anyone through anything that we can't handle. There are lonely days and nights, but we are strong Women, Wives and Mothers!

Kelly

Michelle - posted on 07/10/2010

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theere is one specific post I have to agree with. You have to learn to toughen up and do it on your own. If you don't learn to handle these deployments now, then they will only get harder. Develop a support network and become a strong military wife, if not you will fall and fall hard. I have seen it to many times. I help many newbie wifes and even long time wives get through their spouses deployments. Yes they are tough, but you have to be too. Like I mentioned earlier on upcoming 23rd deployment for the hubby here. And developing my own self-suffician strength is worth it.

Michelle - posted on 07/10/2010

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going home is a personal choice. your BAH is based on your current base location and affiliated residence. 99.9% of the time you can only get out of a lease with a PCS order, but sometimes renters or lease holders may work with you on lowering you lease payment. Honestly I wouldn't hold my breathe. you are in a contract and again your choice to leave the area is yours and not a military official action. Don't break the law or try and abuse military BAH. You may jepordize the security of your spouses carrer. Not good. Best of luck...we are coming up on our 23rd deployment in 6 yrs here this Nov. Been doing this as a spouse for 11 1/2 years and was active duty myself. any questions you may have more personal please contact me at my email address. passion4livingmrv75@yahoo.com

Cyndi - posted on 07/10/2010

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I suppose a lot of it has to do with how long the deployment is if it for 6 months it might be more of packing and unpacking when he gets home, are kids involved are they leaving there school and friends. so much goes it just picking up and moving, My husband just retired after 20 years and it is complicated

Melissa - posted on 07/09/2010

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My husband just came back from deployment two months ago. I was in the same situation your are, living in Cali off base and knew no one. I also had a six month old son. We put our stuff in storage and moved home so that I wasn't alone and our families could spend time with our son for a while. We saved a ton of money doing this because I stayed with my parents. I would say if you don't know anyone hear and won't be happy here then move home, deployments are hard enough when you do have a support team, the last thing you want is to be by yourself threw the entire deployment!

Dorsha - posted on 07/09/2010

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No, I lived in NC when I had my son when he was two weeks we moved back to Ohio because of a deployment.... Actually you might get more bah if they know where you are living. Like in Ohio normal apt is usually, 450-550 so that's how much we would get paid ish... Enough to live there... Here now we live in VA our apt is 1100 and we get way more bah... It's nice.... Because bah changes in diff areas

Allison - posted on 07/09/2010

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Whoever told you that you have to stay where your husband is stationed to get his BAH is lying. I've known several army wives that initially stayed on post after their husbands left for Iraq. A few of them eventually moved back home to be aroun family because lets face it deployment is stressful. But he could be right depending on where he is currently stationed that going to Texas might not give you enough BAH. Remember, his base pay is tax free the whole time he is gone so you have 2 choices...get housing on post or stay where you are. There's nothing saying that family can't come and help you there. Also, the wives that went home didn't end up saving as much money as they could have if they had stayed at Fort Irwin. Also, everyone's right the army will not pay for you to move home and back. Therefore you would end up saving more money if you stayed where you were.

REBEKAH - posted on 07/08/2010

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its easy. you get out of your lease. you can put all of your stuff in storage or move it with you but there is no help from the military for the move. Then you have the bah direct deposited. people do it all the time so there should not be an issue.

Amber - posted on 07/08/2010

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That however doesnt always work.. Sometimes they do not approve you getting BAH in different areas... You can apply to get spousal orders to move while he is gone but again not always approved!

Hillary - posted on 07/08/2010

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Your husband will have to change where you will be living so you will collect BAH for Texas rather than wherever he is stationed.

Amber - posted on 07/08/2010

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No you do not have to live where he is stationed.. The BAH is just based upon where he is stationed, and you can live where ever you like! My husband and I are stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC and I moved back to Texas during our first deployment, but as stated by others, they will NOT pay for you to move at all. Honestly, my advice, stay where you are stationed. Learn what life is like alone and taking care of your life and your kids. I think the worst thing I ever did was move back home. BUT again that is my own personal story! :) GL!

Crystal - posted on 07/08/2010

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were u are stationed at is the bah u get my husband just asked the other day like we our stationed at ft polk and i move back home we get wat we get at ft polk which isnt alot

Tiffany - posted on 07/08/2010

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You get BAH for where his station home of record is I believe, but don't quote me on it. You can do it. My hubby might be volunteering for deployment and I plan on staying on station while he's away. I'll of course go visit family and take my girls with me on some fun exploration trips. I have a 5 yo that will be in Kindergarten and that will keep her busy and I have a 2 mo who will keep me busy at home.

Rebekah - posted on 07/08/2010

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Your choice is your own and no one can make it for you. Many women chose to go home. I agree with Candi, however, you are old enough to be a wife and mother you are old enough to handle this. It's scary, but you will be proud of yourself for it. The bible says for this reason a man (or woman) will leave his parents and cleve to his wife (or her husband). Belive you me, it's just as tough to go back home, most regret it. Plus the stability truly is better for your children. Changing homes and schools every year can make a mess out of their emotional wellbeing and their education.

Leeann - posted on 07/08/2010

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I stayed put when my husband deployed the first time and most people though I was crazy because I did and entire pregnancy, delivery and 7 months of raising our first child alone. We are getting ready for our second deployment and I plan to do the same thing, stay where we are stationed. We saved money while he was gone that way, though I could have saved a little more moving home, but it was worth it for the experience. Especially with my son, I know that being home, my mom tries to help out a lot and I find it more stressfull than being alone because I bend to her ways of child raising. Also, I find that my friends from back home are not nearly as understanding as the ladies I had on base. They understood when talking about or ignoring the deployment was necessary. I feel stronger for having been able to do it on my own and I know that for this second one I will be able to handle it even better even if I am still dreading it.

MaryAnn - posted on 07/07/2010

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My husband has been gone for 4 months now and still has more to go. My vote is, go where you have the most support. If you live on post, there are a lot of programs available and opportunities to meet other women in your situation. It can be nice to be surrounded by those that truly understand.

On the flip side, these last 4 months have been HARD! We have 3 little girls and there have been days where I have wanted to call my mom and BEG her to move in with us! LOL!

The choice is different for everyone. Good luck with the deplpoyment! Many prayers on being said on your families behalf! :)

Kitty - posted on 07/07/2010

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I have done both, stayed and moved back home. In ether situation you will need a support system. If you do not have one there then I would say go home. Will you be staying at your current location or will you be PCSing when he gets back? When my husband deploys next time we will be PCSing right when he gets back. About the BAH you will still get it but it wont cange location. You will only get the BAH for where he is stationed. I hope this helps.

Cecilia - posted on 07/07/2010

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This is my first deployment coming up in January. My daughter will be 9 months when my husband leaves. Yes, it is going to be difficult but I am staying here. The way I look at it, is I married him knowing he will leave. This is my life now I cant just pack up and leave everytime he goes away. My daughter needs a stable home. Bills need to be paid, etc. I will be going home to visit but it just doesnt seem practical to move back. Do what YOU feel comfortable with though and Best of luck, you will still be getting BAH so no worries there.

Dominique - posted on 07/07/2010

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I am going to deal with my 1st deployment soon to but i jave decided to stay where we are stationed at , I have a soon to be 2yr old daughter and a 8 day old son. I am currently going to school online and have a few other thing to work on , but i know it will make me a stronger and more self reliant person in the end. I do have a few friends but they will be pcsing next summer so , ill be keeping busy by going to school and doing things in my church. My moms bf just deployed and I told her to come vist me when my husband is gone and plus she can meet her grandbabies too

Candi - posted on 07/05/2010

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I didn't mean to sound harsh. I am just stating my opinion. I never lived on post either and never knew anyone, but I went back to school, went to church every week, and found things to do with the kids. I have 3 kids and their after school activities kept me busy. I even had my appendix removed while my husband was deployed. I drove myself to the ER and my sister luckily was able to fly in the next day to help out. It does make you stronger and you realize what you are really capable of. You are a lot stronger than you think. Give yourself credit. You are married to the military now...thats step 1. Good luck. Just follow your heart. It works for some people, not for others!

Tara - posted on 07/05/2010

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You will still get BAH, but you will get the BAH for the area (command) that he is stationed is at. So for example if your apartment is in Tampa, FL. you will still get the BAH for Tampa, even though you and the kids are physically in Texas. It's totally worth going home, and if you can stay with family.. saving that extra BAH every month will help pay off some debts or take a nice vacation when he returns!

Crystal - posted on 07/04/2010

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well if u live on post and give ur house up and yall still there after the deployment u will have to get back on the waiting list to get a house or live off post thats one thing to think abt most wives do that so housing will be a long wait because all the wives will be coming back plus all the ones pcs'ing in so think long and hard before u do it

Timi - posted on 07/04/2010

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I have always gone home and I have regreted it we have saved much money but that is it. We are going to go through our 4th deployment the beginning of next year and this time I am staying where we are stationed!!

Crystal - posted on 07/04/2010

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we are getting ready for our 1st deployment and im thinking abt moving back home which is only 2 to 3 hrs from here since we are currnetly stationed in our home state 1 reason becaus emy husband is leaving 2 i hate this place 3 so my daughter gets to see our family and not forget them and have all her cousins to play with we moved away when she was 1 she is now 3 even thou we are not close i will not keep our daughter from our families she lost both her great grandfathers with in 2 months last yr so i want her to spend all the time theyand we can with her

Leticia - posted on 07/04/2010

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Hi Bernie! My Husband is a SGT in the army and we are about to end our first deployment. I was pregnant with our 2nd child when he went off to training for his deployment so I moved back home with my 11month old to be closer to family in case I went into early labor without him In New York. It was nice to have family and friends I knew around me during the first deployment. It's a scary thing and I believe that once you experience the deployment for the first time you need to have family support. It was a good decision on our behalf because we saved up all of our BAH and my kids got to spend time with both sides of our family. Do what YOU are comfortable with. Maybe the 2nd time around when you know what to expect then you can stay where you guys PCS'd to but other than that I also think if your a little nervous you should try to be closer to family :). Also- if you do decide to leave back to texas, consider putting most of your furniture and what not in a storage and taking as little as possible with you when you move to texas. It will cost you monthly but since you'll be getting your BAH either way you are still saving money. When and if you do decide to leave, if your going to live back on post make sure you call Housing and have them put you on the housing waiting list but tell them do put a "deployment hold" on your spot. This way, you will still move up on the list but you wont be offered a home until you take the hold off. A few months before your husband returns, have them take off the hold so that you make sure to have a home for you and ur husband to go back to when his deployment is over. Lastly, most posts WILL pay for your move back to your duty station...its not the move they do when you PCS but its called a "local move" and you can either call the housing department on your post, and ask them for the number, set up an appoitment with them... or the way I did it was I did a "do it yourself move" and I got reimbursement for it. However, make sure you still contact them because you will have to get weight tickets and all that good stuff. Hope this helps! Best of luck!

Krislyn - posted on 07/03/2010

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I don't know the ligistics in the actual move but I strongly encourage you to try and do what you can to get back home. This is my second deployment and first while pregnant and would not have been able to do it with out the Lord Jesus and all the loving friends and family he put in my life. I'll keep you and our family in prayer

Lisa - posted on 07/03/2010

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I use to live in Pa & my husband is in the Army we are now stationed in Hawai'i. This is our 1st deployment & I stayed here. It was my 1st time ever being away from family & friends & I would do this way again. I believe it makes you stronger as a person & more dependant of yourself, plus its a pita to have to unpack all your stuff & repack pack iot over & over everytime he deploys. Better for the kids to have a stable environment too. Good luck!

Amy - posted on 07/03/2010

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my hubby also deploys this sept. I have decided to move home, we have a 14-month old and I'm 3 months pregnant with our second. I dont think I would be able to do it on my own if I didnt move back closer to family and friends. On post, I also have found that most our neighbors are stuck up and quite unfriendly, so I dont feel like I have much of a support system here. Being married and have a family in my opinion doesnt mean you dont still need support and help from your family at times, especially during such a hard time as when your hubby deploys. I've even had soldiers who are friends of mine tell me that they think its better when their spouces, etc move back closer to family when they deploy because it makes it easier for them knowing they are close to people who care about them if an emergency should arise. Go with your gut, do what you think is right, dont worry about BAH, you'll still get it no matter where you live, and if you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me, I know just what you're going through, and honestly, I'm nervous and unsure about things too! Best of Luck!

Bernie - posted on 07/03/2010

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were navy, and we live off post, we rarely ever go on base, i dont know anyone here. and the people i have met are rude and stuck up. i didnt come to cali to be alone. please dont judge me.

Candi - posted on 07/03/2010

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i went through 3 deployments. One in Germany and 2 in Texas. I always stayed. That was my home. You are adult enough to get married and have a family, be adult enough to live where the Army sends you. Kids need stability. They are going to be moving enough as it is. Part of being a military spouse is dealing with him being gone. Sometimes its for a few months and sometimes its for 15 months. Its easier and better for the kids to stay in one place as long as possible. Just my opinion

Tara - posted on 07/03/2010

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honestly if possible i'd stay where you are....case and point...my husband and i are both military..hes marine corp im army... we have a place near is base..out son was 6 weeks old when he left for Afghanistan...hes now 7 months old... i originally wanted to move back to Ohio where id have my family and friends..however after talking with my husband he made a good point.... by staying in California while he was gone i made so many military wife friends and became so thankful to have them to cry and talk and vent too and help with the little one... and now i KNOW that ill have no problem with a 2nd deployment since i stayed and made friends during the first... :) i wish you both the best of luck!

Bernie - posted on 07/03/2010

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thanks ladies :) me and hubs are still trying to figure it out.. did yall save money moving back home while he was gone? were in california so we'd have to put all our junk in storage. what did yall do?

Crystal - posted on 07/03/2010

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its called a military clause u can get out of any lease as long as u have orders u dont have to stay at he post were u live u can go home to live for a yr my husband is deploying in the fall i thought abt moving home which it sonly 3 hrs to go back home but i like my peice and quit

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