helping my daughter remember her dad while he is deployed

Arielle - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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my daughter was 4 months old when my hubby deployed. and she is in this phase where she doesnt want to go to no but me. she will cry when some1 will tries to get her. now i am just scared this is not a phase, and wont go to her daddy when he comes back. i no that is goin to break his heart. we do the webcam thing and he talks to her on the phone, but is there anything else i can do?

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Brittany - posted on 08/11/2010

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I'm getting ready to go through the same thing with my daughter. She will be 4 months when my husband leaves and I worried about the EXACT same thing you are. I saw this was posted in January..How did it go for you? Any suggestions?

Nacol - posted on 01/31/2010

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My husband always read the kids a bedtime story EVERY night before he deployed, so what I did was video tape him reading a variety of books. Each night, the kids would pick a title, and low and behold, daddy would appear on the TV, reading them their favorite bedtime stories.

April - posted on 01/30/2010

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Hi My husband is not deployed but at boot camp and job training . He will be gone for about 6 months. Our son is almost 15 months now and my husband just left 2 weeks ago. I make sure i show our son pictures of daddy all the time. i even gave him one to carry around with him. He has pics of just daddy and him with daddy. I make sure to talk about his daddy all the time. Before he left he made videos of himself playing guitar (our son loves when he plays) so i could show him while he is gone. I'm sure when he gets back she might not go right to him and might be a little shy around him. But time will help. You are her mommy so of course she only wants to go to you. :) She feels safest with you.

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I used to video tape my husband reading books for our daughters. Then they could see and hear him.

Barbara - posted on 01/28/2010

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My husband was deployed when our daughter was born. I got her a Daddy Doll, The first time she saw him she was 6 months old. Then he went back to base and we stayed in IN the next time she saw her dad was when she was 10 months old. She would sleep with her daddy doll all the time. We would also Skype with a webcam. It all seemed to woek out well for us. GOOD LUCK

Kimberly - posted on 01/28/2010

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I know scent is also a big deal. What if you sent you husband a t-shirt of pillowcase for him to sleep in several nights. Have him seal it up in a plastic bag and mail it back. That way you can give it to your kiddo as a way or remembering daddy's scent.

Brittany - posted on 01/28/2010

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My son was 8 months old when my husband deployed. I took pictures of him blew them up to 8X10 and bought the self laminating sheets at walmart to laminate them and I put them at his eye level in his room and his eye level on the fridge. We also bought a Daddy doll for my son and he carried it around with him everywhere and took it to bed. They take a pic of your husband and put it on a doll so you kid can take daddy with them and have them in their life at all times. the website is https://www.hugahero.com/ this was absolutely the best thing. With the daddy doll daddy was always there where ever my son went and it was very reassuring to him. I talked to the doll as if he was daddy so my son thought it was daddy. When we went to leave the house I would tell him go get daddy so we can go bye bye and any time he played he would play with daddy too.

Karlee - posted on 01/27/2010

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We haven't gone through deployment yet, but it's coming soon. But, right now my Hubby is on a different Post. I love everyones ideas. We do the webcam and phone thing. But I think the build a bear thing and the laminated picture thing are really really great ideas. I think I might actually do them! Stick in there because my son is going through a phase where he doesn't listen to anyone but daddy, and thats over the phone or web. So when he leaves I'm going to need backup. And so will you! Hang in there! It'll get better, or at least thats what they tell me!

Caryn - posted on 01/27/2010

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If you have a build a bear by you... they have little boxes that record voices. We had my husband record a message to my daughter (she is 2 yrs) and then we put it in a bear and the bear in cami's and a beret. Now everynight she listens to her bear, gives it hugs and we blow kisses far far away to Daddy. I tell her then that daddy blows her kisses at night too and she has to catch them and put them up to heart. Then it is my turn for a high five and a kiss (lol). I also laminated a bunch a pictures of him and all of us together so she can carry them around and play with them without ruining them. She has "daddy" stashed everywhere! lol. Just talk about him and show her pictures.. it wont take long when daddy is home to feel his love and realize who he is!

Courtney - posted on 01/27/2010

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Get a recordable book (they sell them at Hallmark) and send it to your hubby so he can record his voice on each page. Have him mail it back, and read it to your little girl while showing her pictures of Daddy to help her associate his voice with his face.

Heather - posted on 01/27/2010

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The Marine Corps has a reading thing they do for the kids. When Dad or Mom is gone they can read a book and make a video so that the kids can watch it whenever they want. Ask your husband to talk to someone about it to see if they have it where he is at.. I think if you got him to do a few different books then you and her could have some reading time with dad each night before bed =) If they dont have it, maybe you could send him all the stuff he needs so he can do it but I dont know how he would get it back to you though.. Good luck, and the other ideas everyone has posted about pictures are good..

Shannon - posted on 01/27/2010

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Show her pictures of Daddy, good one's. I did this with my daughter when she was young, and he was in basic and ait. She may not have totally recognized him when he came home, but she knew the face and that it was associated with good, love, and happy. Chin up lady...you are doing good! ;)

Ashley - posted on 01/27/2010

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i show my daughter pictures of him and her all the time. they are stashed thru the house. yours is probably too young to realize its her in the pic but seeing the pictures really helps my daughter. also im sure having him back home will take some getting used to but it will all work out in the end. just warn him ahead of time that she is going through that phase so it wont be such a shock to him. good luck!

Michelle - posted on 01/27/2010

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This is just a phase. I have not gone through a deployment yet...but its coming. Show her pictures everyday of daddy. And of course the phone and webcam thing are always a definitel plus!!! You are her primary caregiver...and her mother...so naturally she doesnt want to go to anyone else but you. I think all children go through this at some point....or most do. I think you are doing the right thing. She is only 4 months old...give or take.....she wont remember this time without her daddy. But like I said...you are doing the right thing. Daddy's deployment is probably harder on you than it is on her.

Ashley - posted on 01/27/2010

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what idid with my son was show him picture and talk to him about them. also you can put a picture on the side of the crib or somewhere she can see it. and if you have a video camero tape him reading baby books/childrens books and put them on tv with the book and turn the pages as he reads it. i hope that helps!

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