How did everyone deal with their FIRST deployment?

Brittany - posted on 06/26/2011

Oh yeah, YMCA memberships are free while they're deployed!!! That was so awesome, you can do swimming with the little ones it's great, take advantage.

Brittany - posted on 06/26/2011

Well, friends are really helpful. Other military wives that are going through or have gone through what you're going through. Also any spouse retreats that go on take full advantage of... Even if you don't think it's your thing... It helps sooo much. Also, sending stuff to your husband a lot even if it's just a bar cookie, it's nice to feel connected... Daddy Dolls are great, his voice in a book, or on video reading to the kids. We did the buildabear thing on R and R and recorded his voice in some teddy bears... First deployment our son was two weeks old when he left and 15months when he came back. Second deployment I had to be put in the hospital during my pregnancy, I rented a hotel near the hospital where family stayed with Zydan cause my husband was mission essential and none of the three red cross messages brought him home. I survived, Emmalyn survived, and Zydan was okay being with family. My husband got to move his R and R up and came home when Emmalyn was two weeks old... We ignored the rest of the family for half the R and R, and it was the best thing we ever did, it was just us and our kids, then we went and hung out with the parents and such... Enjoy eachother, you will survive. And no matter what happens know that there is someone else out there who is going through it too and you can lean on any one of us. Also, don't hangout with the wrong crowd. I got stuck in a rut hanging out with stupid girls and watched way too many couples get divorced the first deployment, the second one went way better, I had much much more awesome people around me. Good luck my dear. We are all together, we are a family too, that is one thing I didn't understand for a long time.

Kylie - posted on 06/25/2011

I was in the same boat, my husband deployed when I was 7 months pregnant and we already had a two year old son. He should be able to stay for like ten days after the birth then meet his unit where they are stationed, for me they made my hubby buy a plane ticket home if he wanted to, so we did. The first few weeks of the deployment will be really hard...but it gets better (kind of like ripping off a band-aid). Luckily with two kids you will stay pretty busy, once you get in to a routine time will fly by. We got into a routine where the kids and I both stay busy (school, play dates etc.) and now we have two months left to go on a 13 month deployment. Best of luck to you and your family, and congrats on the new baby.

Sunshine - posted on 06/24/2011

My husband has had 3 tours(serving his 3rd now, he deployed October & don't come home til next year). We have been together 12 years & married 5 yrs. We have a 19 month old now & its a lot harder having kids. Our first deployment together wasnt too bad at first I was sad & depressed until I figured that there are things to do while he is gone I had 2 dogs so I spent a lot of time walking & going to the dog park :) As long as you keep busy it goes by fast :)



My son is so energetic so I know how you feel♥ I don't have energy half the time! I have actually made myself drink Monster Rehabs so I could play more with him... You can do this!!! Just try to do a lot with your baby! I am constantly doing things, going swimming walking etc!!

Lori - posted on 06/23/2011

Monika, he should be able to talk to his unit about staying until after the baby is born, especially since your due date is so soon. I know a few people who have done it, the dad deployed a few weeks late so he could be there for the birth. My husband's first deployment (2nd separation, he'd done a tour in Korea right after we got married) was right after we found out we were expecting our second child and our first son was 17 months old. It was hard. I moved in with my parents, which was a mistake. Lol. All I got was unwanted parenting advice. It was supposed to be a 12 month deployment and turned into a 15 month deployment so our oldest was about to turn 3 and our baby was 8 months old when he came home. We just finished our second deployment, this one was only 11 months. He was gone 6 of the 12 months prior to deploying, so it seems like he's been gone forever. You get used to him being gone. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. Keep things normal for the kids. Do lots of play dates to help the time pass by. This last deployment my oldest was 5 going on 6, my middle son was 3 going on 4, and my little guy was 9 months old when Daddy left. I stayed put this time around, as the older two boys are in school. We were also in the middle of an adoption, which helped keep me busy. I flew to meet our daughter in October and right after my husband redeployed in March we flew to pick her up. The older boys had school, therapies (they are both on the autism spectrum), we painted the house... We kept busy. That makes the time go by the fastest! Good luck!

LisaJoy - posted on 06/23/2011

my husband was deployed while I was pregnant with our first child and we were in Germany ( which is worse that being deployed while in the states cause no family or comfort places to go) but I was 6 months pregnant when he left and the only way I got trough it was lots of skyping with family and I had a crazy dog that made me smile... It was a short deployment and he was back right before our son was born. But now he is deployed again and our son is 19months. The hardest thing is that our little boy has no clue why daddy isn't here. He crys for him some days and whenever he sees a soldier he stares really hard to see if it is his daddy. Unfortunately my husband is deplyed to a place with no mail or internet so we cant skype to see him and we just have to use lots of pictures. we also got one of those recorable story books. he LOVES that thing we also got a build-a-bear with a recordable voice chip and ACUs he loves pressing the button on that. ALL deployments are super hard, but for us , they make our marriage stronger. One really hard part is the wondering between phone calls. Its hard but try to keep positive thoughts. And go visit family. I go visit my inlaws (they are in the next state over so it's just a drive). Or get family to come help u with the new baby. and take plenty of me-time

Nikki - posted on 06/21/2011

My husband was deployed while I was pregnant with our first child. He made it home about 2 weeks after she was born. So, I'm sorry, I have no experience with kids and a deployment. I would suggest though, that maybe you get one of those "build a bear" animals and get daddy's voice recorded on it for the toddler or something so he can talk to the kiddos. I would also encourage that he talk to the kids over the phone when possible. My husband travels for work and it seems silly sometimes, talking to a baby or toddler that really can't talk back, but it seems to help mine when my husband is out of town. Also, I would encourage you to have lots of pictures of him easily accessible by your children. My kids are always pointing and talking to pictures of my husband when he is out of town (they are 13 months and 2 1/2 yrs.) I would just encourage him and you to talk to them about it and make sure that they know that dad isn't gone, he's just not here at the moment, but will be back. Good luck!! I hope that it goes fast for you!!