How do i explain?

Dajrion - posted on 08/07/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have been thinking about joining the airforce for 2 years now. The only thing that has stopped me was my parents. They didnt support my idea. So i put the thought in the back of my head. Now 2 years later i cant shake the idea and i have talked to a recruiter behind their backs. My Fiance supports the idea and will help my 2 year old. We were going to get married in 2014 but i want leave before then so we are considering getting married sooner before i take all the necessary steps. I am afraid to inform my parents though, about me joining and the marriage. What should i do?

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RoMaNtiC - posted on 08/08/2012

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Consider sitting down with your parents and talking with them about these things you wish to do. Ask them precisely why they object to the idea of you going into the AF and why they discourage getting married sooner rather than later. Though you are an adult, assuming, then you can very well go behind their backs and do whatever you wish, but is that okay with not only your mind but your heart as well?

You only get one set of parent's. (Usually. Lol.) Their opinions DO matter but take them with a grain of salt. If it happens that they are truly just frightened for your well being in the service, then consider putting their minds at ease. To be honest the AF is the baby of the military in my opinion. It seems like the less likely of the branches to be in danger.

On the marriage issue, if you truly love your significant other, and know in your heart he is who you want to be with for the rest of your lives, then go for it. I am a woman who follows her heart but knows when to use the brain as well. So that means all love aside, be sure marriage is what is best. It's true it would be easier to be married first before joining, but like I said, take opinions into account, and truly calculate the pro's and con's of the big decisions you are making.

For the military side, boot camp can be a very tough and trying time for an individual. Be sure you are mentally prepared to be away from your boyfriend (or husband, if you marry) and your child for that period of time PLUS the first school you go to (which for us is called a-school and depending on how long it is for you, they won't move your family unless its over six months). Our daughter was a little over three weeks old when my husband left for boot camp and didn't see her again until she was a little over five months months. So that was a VERY tough time for us.

Also, Anything that you're promised or expecting from the military, such as bonuses, loan/student loan repayments, tuition assistance for future schooling, etc... Make SURE it's in WRITING on your contract. Even the most honest recruiter, can and will say anything to get you in but they don't authorize anything. (From experience)

For the Military/Marriage side, consider this: If your single before you join, especially with children, you have to sign your child over to another person for full legal guardianship. It would either be your boyfriend or your parents. Also, unless you are married, you won't have dependency paid for your child such as BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing).

I hope you are able to get the answers you need and come to fulfilled decision. I'm sure your parent's would be very proud to have a servicewoman in the family. Once they've warmed up to the idea. If you would like any additional information, feel free to message me. (I just started today though, so if I'm slow to answer, I'm sorry. Lol.) Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 08/08/2012

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If you want to get married and are an adult which I am presuming you are then get married same with enlisting these are your decisions to make not your parents. I am sure your parents discouraged you because they are afraid you might get hurt once the decision is made they will come to terms with it. Do what is best for your family.

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