How do I get information about my husband?

Marissa - posted on 10/28/2011

The JAG office can help with the papers u need to file. We used them to file our separation agreement (in NC) and then once we were separated for a year the terms in our separation agreement would have been the terms of the divorce. We didn't get divorced back then ( that was back in 2004). It is not 2011 and I am in your boat we have been married for 11 years we only have 2 kids one is 5 the other is 10. Mine cheated twice that I know of and is verbally abusive ( he has never put a hand on me) constantly tells me I am fat and worthless and a piece of shit etc.I have no job and I live 6 hours from my closest family meanwhile all his family lives within 10 minutes of us so I am stuck and every time I try to do something to better myself he shoots it down some how or another. I was gonna go to school but he started bitching I needed a job. Every time I am online doing job apps he bitches I am always on the computer so I just don't win.I haven't been home in 7 years (I only see my mom because she comes here)

Jennifer - posted on 10/03/2011

if you have been married to him for 10 yrs while he was active duty you should be able to receive 55% of his retirement. JAG should be able to advise you on what you are entitled to as a spouse, they will not represent you but guide you.

Angela - posted on 09/20/2011

it used to be that once you were married (not together but legally married) for 10 years you got a portion of his retirement pay. But it was only a portion of what he earned while you were together ... example if he was in 20 years and you were married 10, you would get 1/4 of his retirement pay ... 1/2 of the 10 years of your marriage to him while he was in the military.

I wouldn't recommend going to his command ... this is between you and him. Plus it can get him busted down which equals a cut in pay/retirement pay.

Get an attorney, file for divorce and child support and move on to a better life.

Tah - posted on 09/13/2011

if you tell his command at this point and they decide to reprimand him at this point it will affect what you are entitled to so what Jane said sounds like the best course of action for you...

Carmencita - posted on 09/12/2011

Thanks Jane for all the resource information you gave. I live in Maryland he has done 25 years reserve and active he also applied for disability. But thank you so much!

Carmencita - posted on 09/12/2011

Hi Elizabeth I waited so long because I needed a plan. I needed a job a place to stay some goals I needed a plan.I also wanted to try counseling oh know he said he don't do counseling. What would my troop think of me I'm a E8 I counsel them. He decide to go we went on military couple retreat it was a disaster he denied all the problem we were having everything was my fault but the counselor saw right through him. After that weekend she suggest that I get counseling for myself and I did. I told some friends what my plan was they got me a job paying a little over 50 thousand got me a place this took me three years. We lost our house so that gave me a out. He moved in with another women and I found me an apartment. We have been separated for one years now I'm ready to file for divorce. I have talked to militaryonesource they do not help you with legal matter.

Jane - posted on 09/10/2011

Depending on which state you are in, his retired pay may be considered to be a marital asset and can be divided by the court as part of the divorce. Since you have one minor child together, the court may also decree child support.

If he agrees, you can remain on his SBP (survivor benefit plan) as a former spouse.

Otherwise, you don't get much because of the 20:20:20 rule:

"In order to qualify for continued benefits a former spouse must show that the service member served at least 20 years of creditable service, that the marriage lasted at least 20 years and that the period of the marriage overlapped the period of service by at least 20 years. A former spouse who meets these requirements is known as a 20/20/20 former spouse and is entitled to full commissary, exchange and health care benefits."
http://www.military.com/benefits/content...

If he applies to the VA for a disability there may be something there, or there may not.

I suggest that you find a divorce lawyer who is familiar both with the laws of the state where you intend to file divorce and with military and VA benefits. Good luck!