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How do i make my husband understand?

Alexis - posted on 08/28/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm a military wife that is currently taking care of our 3 year old & 3 month old. This weekend I planned on gng to the movies with my friend, and out to eat for her birthday,and my husband tripped and said I couldn't go.1 bcus he thinks my friend is a guy. 2 because I'm spending HIS hard earned money. 3 he obviously thinks I don't need a break. How do I get him to understand I do??? I get in the blues being stuck at home all the time taking care of our kids. I need a break! :/

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4 Comments

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Amanda - posted on 09/02/2012

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You guys need to have a sit down talk about money apparently, because it should be HOUSEHOLD money, not his, hers, me, mine, etc... My husband and I have a strict budget system and every payday we know how much is going to what bills, our budget for groceries, gas, etc... and then once everything is paid, we split the leftover money. Last payday, I used mine to go out to lunch with a friend (and he watched our son while I was gone) and he chose to use his money to go out with a buddy to a car show (and of course I watched our son for him). Maybe you should point out to him how rough it can be watching children alone. Suggest he spend an entire morning/afternoon with them (while you go take care of errands or whatever) and see if he isn't tired by the end of the day. Don't be rude or accusing in how you talk to him though, because like most men he would probably go on the defensive and it starts a fight. If that doesn't work, I suggest you seek some counseling (and with the military there are plenty of places to turn to without having to shell out tons of money).

Tara - posted on 08/30/2012

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definately agree that he needs to look at you as an equal. when you got married that is what you were. just because he works and makes the money doesnt make you any less. you do work that is hard and non stop. your work is demanding. if your kid wakes up at night, you have to get up to. you dont get weekends or holidays off. you are mommy 7 days a week all day. yes, he may be military and have to deal with things we never will, but we still need and deserve breaks just as much, even if the friend was a guy.

Alexis - posted on 08/29/2012

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i will take your advice and see how it goes, thank you!

Katie - posted on 08/29/2012

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Sit down and discuss equality in your marriage. If he wants to go out at times then you should be able to as well. And discuss money being both of yours. He works for it, but you take care of the children and home. If he refuses to give you equality take it. Get someone one else to watch the kids and just go. When he throws a fit decide what you are and arnt willing to live with tell him and stand your ground.

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