How do you deal with deployment?

Sandy - posted on 08/07/2009

The best way to get threw it is to find something to occupy your time. My husband got deployed right before I gave birth to our son, so he missed it. He didnt get to see our son until he was 6 months old, and in 2 weeks he will be done with his tour. The way I did it was do something special for yourself each week, so you have something to look forward too. It will seem like forever but one day you will wake up and he will be home! GOOD LUCK TO YALL!!!

Tracy - posted on 08/07/2009

What worked the best for me was to keep busy. I went back to school and finished my degree. Get involved in something, that way you are too busy to think about him and where is at. The more busy you are, the fast the time goes. There are lots of books out there to help.

Dawn - posted on 08/06/2009

Hi Amy, it sure is ain't easy. My husband is on his way back from his 2nd tour to Iraq. You know, most people say that it gets better with time, but let me tell you, it doesn't! lol I feel as sad, worried, lonely, anxious etc. as I did the first time. You can't have them worry about "home" while they are deployed. It's probably harder on them. Reassure ur husband that you will be there, waiting for him and tell him that no matter how far the distance will be between the two of you, he will always be in your thoughts. Always send him in good spirits...make sure you keep urself occupied. It will be over before you know it. Goodluck!

Erica - posted on 08/06/2009

Amy,

My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years and we have been through four separations, two tours in Korea, a tour in Iraq and the first year of our marriage we were both stationed in separate duty stations. I would like to be able to tell you that it is going to be easy, but each time my husband and I have been apart it is always hard. The best advice I can give you is to learn whatever you need to do to become and independent person. Many of the suggestions below are excellent. One of the things I did while my husband was gone was go back to school. It helped fill the time and kept me really busy. We also have children so that helped a lot too. I could focus on them and fill my time with activities for them. I am not sure what your family situation is but if you don't have kids you could consider doing volunteer work as well. Our family wishes you and yours the best. We will say a prayer for you and for your husband to return to you safely. Take Care!

The Clark Family.

Heather - posted on 08/06/2009

Like the other ladies say keep busy. Also I would find a battle buddy or someone with there husband deployed to rely on. I had a great friend that I could call day or night on the hard days...and there will be just a few. When they are gone is when things tend to happen. I had a baby just before he deployed so I used my 15 months to lose the weight...I had a walking and gym buddy. We would do ladies nights and go out for dinner. We would do bunch/playdates. Anything to socialize and just keep moving forward. I also never enjoyed reading...until sleepless nights. Amazingly deployments do go fast! But I will warn...R&R goes faster!

Lacey - posted on 08/05/2009

Hi Amy, my names Lacey. My husband is deployed right now in Iraq, its his first time. I have an 11 month old son so he keep,me pretty busy. I do alot of visiting other people. I am one who watched the news and reads the paper but since he left i no longer do that because that just makes me worry more and I am very scared. Before my husband left he wrote on a eraser board in our kitchen for me to be strong while he is gone and thats what you have to do, Be strong

Michelle - posted on 08/04/2009

Hi amy, my name is Michelle, my husband got posted to a different state the day after the birth of our first child. he goes away quite reguarly. We have been togethor for a few years, and to this day i still get upset on the days that he leaves. My advice would be to stay busy and make the most of the time that you have togethor!!!

Emily - posted on 08/04/2009

My husband is army and recently deployed to A-stan, and so far I am just trying to stay busy. I am lucky in that my parents only live an hour away, so I have spent some time visiting them, and will probably continue to do so throughout the deployment. I am also expecting our first child in September, so there is that to distract me, along with several great friends that I've made among the wives in my husband's unit.

The hardest part for me is the lack of communication. Some guys are able to communicate almost daily, but where our guys are my husband warned me that I should not expect anything but maybe snail mail from him for the next month or so. So I have been writing lots of letters.

Edie - posted on 08/02/2009

Hi Amy. Fortunately, my husband is retired now but I can tell you that when he went on his first deployments onboard ships, I was terrified. I had no idea how to manage our money or what to do with the kids. I learned really quick. You are stronger than you think and you'll do whatever is necessary to keep 'home' going while he's away doing the Nation's business. If there is a deployment support group, join it! Other wives may be having the same concerns as you are. There also might be some old pro's in the group who can give you some pointers on what comes next. Also, every command will have an Ombudsmann. She can help with referrals and other family issues that may come up as well as base support groups for you and your children. One thing that we found was very important was mail call. During the first Gulf War, I tried to write every day even if there was nothing really going on. It helps to keep him feeling involved in your life and you in his. Not every day will be Christmas, but deployments end and he'll be back. You'll be amazed how much growth and change will happen--not just the kids, but you too. Good luck.

Amy - posted on 08/01/2009

Just want to say thank you for replying and thanks for the advice. It really did help alot. I wish you all the best and you and your families are in my thoughts and prayers.

Cassandra - posted on 08/01/2009

Hello Amy... Ive gone through 2 deployments with my husband.. the first one was harder for me than the 2nd one.. The first one i kept busy working.. sending carepackages.. i did the wrong thing of watching the news..

My 2nd deployment i hardly ever watched the news and just kept myself busy busy.. it seem to fly by..

this coming up deployment ill be busy bc i will have 2 kiddos... but im kinda worried....

Belinda - posted on 07/30/2009

My husband leaves every other month or so for a month or more. It's hard not being able to talk to him. Even worse not knowing when he'll be home or how long until he leaves again. But...you have to find a routine that keeps you busy. I have certain things I do each day. And I have "phone dates" with my bff. We talk and have cocktails and just catch up. It's nice if you have some supportive friends. Plus this computer thing is addictive and really helps me pass the time!!!

Amber - posted on 07/30/2009

Hi Amy :]

The thing that always works best for me is to stay busy busy busy!! Find something new to do to take up extra time...new fitness plan, cooking classes, going back to school, reading (was my life saver during two deployments and many sleepless nights!!), weekly girls nights, && planning out the next care-package your going to send lol my husband definitely never loved the XOXO's that I would occasionally put on his box--but it definitely helped pass the time.